Customer Reviews

Star Knight [VHS]

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

I figured for 6 dollars what could it hurt; I've wasted more money on worse things and since I am in Iraq with little to do with the little time I have to myself I figured what could it hurt. Well, not only was it a waste of 6 dollars it was a waste of the hour I spent watching part of it... yes, I could not watch it all. Way to boring and way to... "odd" for me; and I've sat through some pretty boring movies and stayed till the end. Us the 6 dollars and buy a plant; help the ozone.

"Star Knight", made in the mid 80's in Spain as "El Caballero del Dragón", is predictable, pretentious, and ponderous, while simultaneously being ridiculous and silly. Starring Harvey Keitel and Klaus Kinski among a cast of thousands of other people you've never heard of, the film is about a man in a space suit who comes to earth in a giant UFO and falls in love with a medieval princess, creating an awkward love triangle. This, of course, sets up the film to have the humans of old think the UFO is a dragon, and through much telepathic conversation (and contrived exposition) leads to what may be the most ridiculous duel in screen history. The special effects are laughable (I especially like the "glowing head" effect), although the costumes are interesting.

The film has many lessons to teach: don't swim toward a giant whirlpool in a lake, for instance; stuff you would have never known on your own. The dialogue is terrible and very stilted ("Don't you know there's a dragon around here that devours goats, women, and children?") and the direction is unskilled. The emphasis afforded non-pertinent things is very distracting: why does the movie open with Matilda the flying goat (really)? Why the prolonged hysterical overreaction to a black cat? I know they were alleged to bring bad luck, but this cat gets a reception that is truly over the top.

The film is terribly unfocused, and the pace is plodding. The director decides the film should be a light comedy for brief scenes on several occasions, squandering whatever suspense it was able to muster. The most outlandish comedic gems are courtesy of The Green Knight, a.k.a. the worst knight ever in history: he is gross buffoonery personified. This confusing melding (it's kind of like "Alien" meets "Monty Python and the Holy Grail") of fantasy adventure epic, love story, and farce actually made me consider giving the film two stars for camp value, that is until I saw the end of the film. Not only does the conclusion of the film predictably prove that love overcomes all (even a need for a non-oxygen based atmosphere), but that two idiots and mid-1980's animation do not mix in outer space.

"Star Knight" has something to make anyone groan, and I can't recommend it, unless you have a very strong stomach for quirky camp films.

I bought this DVD after thinking about it for a few weeks and was not expecting much,.. and basically that is what I got out of it. This movie must have been filmed in Spain a number of years ago. It was funny like a Monty Python type of movie. Harvey Kitel must be willing to appear in almost any type of film. The quality was really poor, the Alien and his Dragon spaceship I suppose were different from recent Alien movies I watch, he was a spaceman who resembled David Bowie. It was really a dumb movie. If you are not expecting a blockbuster movie and really like spanish directors, actors, producers and scenery, and please do not compare with any King Authur Knight movies,... check it out, like I say it is like a Monty Python movie.

"Star Knight", made in the mid 80's in Spain as "El Caballero del Dragón", is predictable, pretentious, and ponderous, while simultaneously being ridiculous and silly. Starring Harvey Keitel and Klaus Kinski among a cast of thousands of other people you've never heard of, the film is about a man in a space suit who comes to earth in a giant UFO and falls in love with a medieval princess, creating an awkward love triangle. This, of course, sets up the film to have the humans of old think the UFO is a dragon, and through much telepathic conversation (and contrived exposition) leads to what may be the most ridiculous duel in screen history. The special effects are laughable (I especially like the "glowing head" effect), although the costumes are interesting.

The film has many lessons to teach: don't swim toward a giant whirlpool in a lake, for instance; stuff you would have never known on your own. The dialogue is terrible and very stilted ("Don't you know there's a dragon around here that devours goats, women, and children?") and the direction is unskilled. The emphasis afforded non-pertinent things is very distracting: why does the movie open with Matilda the flying goat (really)? Why the prolonged hysterical overreaction to a black cat? I know they were alleged to bring bad luck, but this cat gets a reception that is truly over the top.

The film is terribly unfocused, and the pace is plodding. The director decides the film should be a light comedy for brief scenes on several occasions, squandering whatever suspense it was able to muster. The most outlandish comedic gems are courtesy of The Green Knight, a.k.a. the worst knight ever in history: he is gross buffoonery personified. This confusing melding (it's kind of like "Alien" meets "Monty Python and the Holy Grail") of fantasy adventure epic, love story, and farce actually made me consider giving the film two stars for camp value, that is until I saw the end of the film. Not only does the conclusion of the film predictably prove that love overcomes all (even a need for a non-oxygen based atmosphere), but that two idiots and mid-1980's animation do not mix in outer space.

"Star Knight" has something to make anyone groan, and I can't recommend it, unless you have a very strong stomach for quirky camp films.

"Star Knight", made in the mid 80's in Spain as "El Caballero del Dragón", is predictable, pretentious, and ponderous, while simultaneously being ridiculous and silly. Starring Harvey Keitel and Klaus Kinski among a cast of thousands of other people you've never heard of, the film is about a man in a space suit who comes to earth in a giant UFO and falls in love with a medieval princess, creating an awkward love triangle. This, of course, sets up the film to have the humans of old think the UFO is a dragon, and through much telepathic conversation (and contrived exposition) leads to what may be the most ridiculous duel in screen history. The special effects are laughable (I especially like the "glowing head" effect), although the costumes are interesting.

The film has many lessons to teach: don't swim toward a giant whirlpool in a lake, for instance; stuff you would have never known on your own. The dialogue is terrible and very stilted ("Don't you know there's a dragon around here that devours goats, women, and children?") and the direction is unskilled. The emphasis afforded non-pertinent things is very distracting: why does the movie open with Matilda the flying goat (really)? Why the prolonged hysterical overreaction to a black cat? I know they were alleged to bring bad luck, but this cat gets a reception that is truly over the top.

The film is terribly unfocused, and the pace is plodding. The director decides the film should be a light comedy for brief scenes on several occasions, squandering whatever suspense it was able to muster. The most outlandish comedic gems are courtesy of The Green Knight, a.k.a. the worst knight ever in history: he is gross buffoonery personified. This confusing melding (it's kind of like "Alien" meets "Monty Python and the Holy Grail") of fantasy adventure epic, love story, and farce actually made me consider giving the film two stars for camp value, that is until I saw the end of the film. Not only does the conclusion of the film predictably prove that love overcomes all (even a need for a non-oxygen based atmosphere), but that two idiots and mid-1980's animation do not mix in outer space.

"Star Knight" has something to make anyone groan, and I can't recommend it, unless you have a very strong stomach for quirky camp films.

Most people with anything to compare Star Knight to would probably give it the lowest rating possible, not only for its B-quality, but also for being so undecided in what it's trying to be. The film is medieval fantasy juxtaposed with science fiction. That's fine. But stuffed into the script are elements of a special-FX flick, a slapstick comedy, a martial arts movie, a fairy tale, and a sci-fi drama, but none of the above being particularly good. This mish-mash is primo material for Mystery Science 3000.

Thinking that Star Knight is just odd enough to have a cult following, I checked online for evidence and found only a few mentions, including two rather glowing reviews. One even praised the special effects, done in 1992, though they looked to me to be the same vintage as Zardoz (1974). But while Star Knight is a totally negligible film on its own terms, it does have some potentially interesting aspects for strange-film buffs.

The story opens on medieval times: peasants in idyllic surroundings pay taxes to the king's taxman, played by Harvey Keitel, if you can believe that. In the king's basement dwells the alchemist, Bothus, played by Klaus Kinski, still more unbelievably. Then there's the king's daughter Alba, played by some actress. She is old enough to desire romance. Then there's the priest, who has a deep distrust for science.

The order of things is quickly thrown into chaos by the appearance of a spaceship. The peasants believe it to be a dragon and demand that the king and Keitel defend them from it before they pay any more taxes. Meanwhile, Alba goes riding in the forest with her governess. In spite of the latter's nagging, she goes skinny dipping in the river, swimming toward mysterious bubbles coming from below. In a montage of underwater nudity and the facile effect of running film backwards, Alba is sucked below the surface and is gone.

She reappears a little later in a trance, and only Bothus, using hypnosis, can cure her. In spite of the alchemist's success, the priest fabricates a connection between the scientist and infernal forces, and then condemns him for these unsubstantiated diabolical ties. With Alba cured, however, the king sends his lisping town crier to find a knight who will defeat the strange river-dwelling monster. Keitel volunteers, saying in his best Brooklynese iambic quadrameter, "The dragon I shall slay for thee!"

Keitel's rendition of Sir Thomas Malory's Arthurian English is totally comical. Intentionally so? It's hard to tell. Keitel doesn't do much to hide the accent he used in Pulp Fiction, and later in the movie, he does some slapstick pratfalls. Maybe this film is a comedy, but as I've suggested above, I don't think it ever made up its mind one way or the other. Whether intended to make you laugh or not, you may well get a chuckle hearing Keitel say "Ye, poltroon," and "Thou, varlet."

As Keitel, the priest, the king, and The Green Knight (a seemingly intentional comic relief character, poorly lifted from Monty Python's Holy Grail) bumble about, Alba finds the "dragon" again. She boards the space ship and meets the star of the movie, a mute alien who communicates by theremin. Somehow Alba understands his waahs and woos, and this leads to dialogue like:

"Why won't you take your helmet off and kiss me?"

"Waaaahh. Woooo."

"It will kill you to remove your helmet? But why?

"Woooo. Waaaahhh."

"You can't breathe the same air as me? That's ridiculous."

"Waaa-waaah. Woo-wooo. Tinky-winky."

"I'm tired of your words."

"Waah. Woo-waaah."

"Stop saying 'I can't.'"

"Woooooooo."

"Don't blaspheme!"

Have you ever seen Evil Dead 2? I got a similar feeling from this film. It's a feeling that the movie is a spoof, not because it was written as such, but because, during the making of the movie, it became obvious to cast and crew that it could be nothing else.

Having a mute, clueless alien move about in a clueless earth culture means that the script has to stretch to incredible lengths to make anything actually happen. One fight scene occurs in which a single martial-arts tumble is executed by Ayex the Aryan alien. The fight ends when Keitel manages to steal Ayex's armor, killing Ayex on the spot. Except that Bothus shows up with an elixir that saves Ayex and enables him to breathe earth air.

Keitel and the evil priest wind up boarding the space ship and shooting into outer space with no way of controlling the ship. Ayex develops the power to have his head glow, which makes the peasants believe he is a saint. The king grants him his daughter's hand, but not speaking any English, the aloof alien can only make his head glow in reply. And everyone lives happily ever after.

What can I say? This is a weird film. It's B-quality all the way, but I was mildly entertained in spite of, or because of that.

MST-3000 missed this film. The basic story line: Klaus Kinski draws a circle in chalk and prays for an angel to visit him and give him the secret of life. A space ship flies over the community. The villagers think it is a dragon and a tax revolt erupts until the dragon is slain. Meanwhile, the dowdy Princess Alba is bored and decides to sneak out of the castle. She does encounter the Green Knight which gives us some comedic moments as does the town crier, but nothing to fall out of your chair over. Once she gets to a lake, the princess decides to doff all her clothes and go skinny dipping by herself. Why? Because if she didn't they would have never put the word "nudity" on the box and we would have never seen the film. The nudity is all underwater and certainly not a reason to get this film. While swimming she is captured by the "dragon" and mute man in a space suit. The princess falls in love and returns during her funeral. Now the question becomes, what to do about the "dragon?"

I don't think there is a scene in the movie which looks like the cover. You won't reveal the surprise ending because chances are you won't make it that far. Move over Italy, Spain is making movies.

I honestly am of the opinion that this is one of, if not /the worst/ movie in history, and I love it for that. This movie is literally so awful that the only thing you can possibly do with it is... hype the movie up and invite your friends over for a bit of audio-visual torture.

Well, it's finally happened. I found a movie that is even worse than Plan 9 From Outer Space. This has got to be the worst movie ever made, hands down. I recommend it for those nights when you just can't seem to get to sleep. Put this on the VCR or DVD and it is almost guaranteed you won't be awake to see the middle of it much less the ending. The perfect sleeping aid for all you insomniacs out there.

A nifty little movie with a flying saucer visiting the world of knights & wizards in old Europe. Good actors, Okay movie. Unfortunately there is a flaw, and it is a huge one. The producer's of this DVD should have spent a little more time on it. The audio and video don't track together, with the audio being about one second ahead of the visual. This renders the entire movie into bad comedic farce. Unfortunately the effect is not entertaining, but rather is a headache. I would have to recomend that you avoid this film, at least until some other company creates a viewable version.