Customer Reviews

Star Worms 2: Attack of Pleasure Pods [VHS]

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Well, this was just awful. I mean, it could have worked, but it would have required them to dump roughly 90% of the script.

Here's how the story goes: Some broad on a space ship is talking into a camera, recording a recent incident that led to her downfall. The incident involves a bunch of guys hanging out by a creek, panning for gold and generally exchanging pointless dialogue with eachother. The leader of the prospectors seems to be in a relationship with some other dame who lives in a tent by the creek not too far away. While she and him engage in more pointless dialogue, another bunch of prospectors decide they want to jump the claim of the first bunch. This leads to a really lame fight in which both camps lose one member. There follows some more pointless dialogue, and then one guy with a beard goes for a long walk and starts yelling at the sky because his girlfriend got killed in the fight. We are then told, via the broad from the start, that all of this somehow has something to do with her and now everybody's mad at her so she's in jail. It ends by telling us that the guys from the creek go on to become space merceneries, which is somehow important (God knows why). The end.

Now, I have a theory about this film. First, judging by the apparent ages of all concerned, it was very likely a college film project. Second, they didn't have much money to splash around, so they filmed almost all of it at a nearby creek bed (which presumably didn't cost them anything to use). Finally, judging by the stupendous lack of action and the heavy duty reliance on dialogue, the writer was aiming to be "arty" rather than entertaining. It's the old it's-boring-so-it-must-be-clever routine. The trouble is, the whole thing's so damned dumb in the first place that even making it boring won't fool even the thickest of elitist pseudo-intellectual snobs out there.

The sad thing is that the title makes it sound like it could be a really hilarious romp. Even the cover art suggests that at the very least it could be a bit of a sexy exploitation film. I could almost imagine something really messed up, like Peter Jackson's "Bad Taste" meets "Barbarella." Sadly, both the title and the cover are misleading. I suspect that it didn't start out as "Star Worms II - Attack Of The Pleasure Pods." That was probably the title Lloyd Kaufman gave it to make sure it sold. A more accurate title would have been "Some Guys Taking Themselves Too Seriously By The Creek." Don't be fooled.