Start the Conversation: The Book About Death You Were Hoping to Find [Hardcover]

Ganga Stone (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1996

An eloquent and practical study of death and dying examines the death process, discussing such topics as fear and grief, near-death experiences, preparation, and regret-proofing life, in a study based on the author's experiences working with the terminally ill. Tour.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

If wishes could fly, this simplistic homily about what happens when we die would be airborne. The book is based on a "six-week course about death" that Stone has given regularly since 1989, and it sounds it: chatty, meandering, anecdotal, lacking the rigor of a proper study of death-for example, David Darling's Zen Physics (Forecasts, Feb. 26). This is Stone's first book, but she is well known as the founder of God's Love We Deliver, an organization that delivers free meals to homebound AIDS patients. Here, she makes no bones about her belief in the integrity and survival of the self after death, but she's coy about the likely source of her faith in this idea-her discipleship to the Hindu guru Swami Muktananda. Instead, she points to near-death experiences as proof of survival, missing the point that these experiences are called "near" for a reason, and then to flimsy evidence regarding past lives. The author does forcefully remind readers of the inevitability of death, but her scanting of the "grief process" as "not logical, not appropriate" because we're immortal anyway smacks of spiritual superiority. Stone insists that "there is literally no such thing as death," contradicting the teaching of nearly every major spiritual tradition that death is not only real but a mystery. She no doubt means well, but her book doesn't start the conversation-it stops it dead.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

After two years in an ashram in India, Stone felt called to work with the dying. Out of that calling have come a meals-on-wheels program for AIDS patients, workshops for the terminally ill and those involved with the dying, and now this book. Named after the workshops, it strives to convince us of two primary propositions: we are not annihilated by death, and grief--that is, the psychologically and often physically debilitating reaction to a loved one's death--is neither necessary nor beneficial. Physical death is certain, Stone bluntly reminds us, but souls are eternal. Meditation is especially useful for realizing the soul's timelessness, she says, and once one accepts the soul's perdurability, there is no reason for grief--sadness, yes, but not the confusion and misery of extreme mourning. The most striking thing about Stone's very accessible, jargon-free effort is that it presents Christian understandings of eternal life and of consolation very well with virtually no "God-talk." Don't be surprised if this becomes a very popular book. Ray Olson

Product Details

• Hardcover: 185 pages
• Publisher: Warner Books; First Printing edition (May 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446519596
• ISBN-13: 978-0446519595
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,857,949 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and helpful, June 16, 2001

By 

Kilidonia de Acero "KS" (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Start the Conversation: The Book About Death You Were Hoping to Find (Paperback)

This book does NOT contain the typical advice on how to cope and what to do when a loved one dies, so it may not be for you if that's what you want. It is rather a spiritual approach to death that grew out of the author's relationship with a loved one who died prematurely. I found it a breath of fresh air because it turns upside down a lot of the traditional negative ways the Western world looks at death. The author says that if you are suffering too much, you probably have misconceptions about what death means. She came to new conclusions about death from personal experience and shares them in a very moving and generous way. Because of this, the book can perhaps help you cope in a much deeper and more satisfying way than the rest of the stuff you're likely to find out there.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Clear, concise, April 4, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Start the Conversation: The Book About Death You Were Hoping to Find (Paperback)

This book addressed the concerns on death and dying.

However, the only thing I disagree with the author on is that a grieving person can go to just "sadness" instead of "grief" by just reading her book and making a change just that quickly.

In reality, I wanted to just be sad, but my body is still undergoing a lot of "grief" that my Dad died last year.

The things she wants us to do are not easy at all to do. They look and feel easier on paper that is...The reality is, when our loved ones die, we really HURT. (Maybe for a long time too!)

Nonetheless, it was a great book by a spirited author.

I especially enjoyed her house diagrams and her organized themes that penetrated her work.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Awareness, January 23, 2001

By 

"faithrenee" (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Start the Conversation: The Book About Death You Were Hoping to Find (Paperback)

As I journey throught the experience of watching my grandmother make her transition, Start the Conversation is helping me to think of death in a new way. The reminders that we are eternal and that by just being willing to show up for the experience we release our fears. The conversation is ultimately about my belief system, about me. The book gives one much food for thought.