Fitness made funny by the humorist Dave Barry, whom The New York Times dubbed "the funniest man in America." This unabridged, irreverent journey through the world of fitness fads, diets, and primitive stone jockstraps takes us on a hilarious adventure with Barry as our guide. Warning: Be prepared to laugh as Arte Johnson reads Barry's inimitable views on every imaginable part of the fitness world, including diets (such as "The Frequent Casual Motel Sex Diet") muscles (the kind people in advertisements have and the kind we have, which look more like deceased baby rabbits) and grooming (including the inner torment of all the "baldy chrome domes" out there). If you've ever fizzled out of a fitness program, you'll love this irreverent humor. 2 cassettes.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
Review
"I was in a really cranky mood when I put this in for my morning commute. Within a couple of miles, I was grinning, albeit unwillingly, and by 300 South, I was laughing out loud. Don't mistake this for an actual fitness tape-there is not a single authentic piece of helpful or healthful information to be heard-this is just pure silliness...Everything [Barry] writes is good fun." -- Catalyst, June 1997
From the Back Cover
Dave Barry's
Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry-- provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out.
Barry on executive fitness
Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run 10 miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices are. That's why the entire U.S. economy is now manufactured overseas.
Barry on fitness after death
A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals!
Barry on nutrition
Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you've spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: "A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE." And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims.
Barry on junk foods
White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.
--This text refers to the
Paperback
edition.
Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead
Fitness and vitality can be yours, writes Dave Barry-- provided you have the discipline, drive, and the plain old-fashioned guts required to procure the necessary steroids. This manual may help, too, but you'll just have to buy it and find out.
Barry on executive fitness
Today's top executives eat teeny meals and run 10 miles and play tennis and work out every day. Of course, they're so busy getting fit that many don't even know where their offices are. That's why the entire U.S. economy is now manufactured overseas.
Barry on fitness after death
A quick chill, to approximately 325 degrees below zero, yields a muscle tone that we normally associate only with world-class body builders and certain minerals!
Barry on nutrition
Every morning you should take a vitamin A pill, followed by a vitamin D, followed by an E, until you've spelled the healthful mnemonic phrase: "A DEAD CAD BAKED A BAD CAKE, ACE." And eat all the fiber-rich foods you can shove down your throat; these would be mainly your cotton candy and your Slim Jims.
Barry on junk foods
White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until you get it inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
16 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
One of his best,
By A Customer
This review is from: Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (Paperback)
"In the short space I have here, it's very difficult for me to explain all of your body's complexities and subtelties in any detail, or even get any facts right. For more information, I suggest you attend Harvard Medical School..." Along with Claw Your Way to the Top, this is my favorite Dave Barry book. Even the index is funny ("F" and "G", for example, contain the following fitness-related references: Ford, Gerald; Frequent Casual Motel Sex Diet, The; Godzilla; Gone with the Wind). Where else can you find a fitness test involving a scorpion and an elevator?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Early Barry. . .,
By Naomi (Israel) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (Paperback)
Though not as good as his later works, definitely worth buying, though 'Dave Barry's Guide To Life' is also availiable... and contains this and three other works of similiar quality and length by the same author, while being slightly cheaper than this edition alone.Recommended.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Get ready for guttural laughter,
By
This review is from: Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead (Paperback)
Classic Dave Barry! A short read that you will read twice (at least). Get ready for Dave Barry's usual hilarious views, this time on working out and staying fit. If you have a fitness area in your home of office, this book belongs there. Enjoy!
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