Customer Reviews

How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me: One Person's Guide to Suicide Prevention

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

If you need to change a fan belt on a 1994 Fiat, you buy a Chilton's manual, and not a treatise on the joys of high-speed touring. If you need to make a lemon meringue pie, you get a cookbook, and not a memoir on the joys of great French cuisine. Car manuals and recipes are not always great literature by any means, but they are often necessary in helping to get a job done.

Susan Rose Blauner's HOW I STAYED ALIVE WHEN MY BRAIN WAS TRYING TO KILL ME is nobody's idea of great, or even good, literature. From a purely literary standpoint, the book is chatty, tiresome and irritating, filled with sentimentality, New Age nonsense, and ghastly psychological claptrap. It has been edited with an over-gentle hand, preserving every little cliché and every annoying scrap of poetry and personal reflection. It is a book that very few people will pick up for pleasurable reading, and rightly so.

And yet, it will undoubtedly save lives.

HOW I STAYED ALIVE WHEN MY BRAIN WAS TRYING TO KILL ME is not, as you might think, merely a personal tale of survival from mental illness. It is primarily a manual, a reference book, a resource for people who have suicidal thoughts. Although the book is guided by the author's own experiences with mental illness and suicide attempts, it is written not to chronicle her life but to provide direction and guidance for others in the same situation. And as such, it is an undeniable success.

Blauner's book is guided by several hard-won insights. Suicide begins as a thought, driven by negative feelings, and such feelings are temporary and changeable. "Suicidal," Blauner tells us, "is not a feeling." Suicidal thoughts are paired with feelings of anger, guilt, loneliness, and desperation, and it is necessary to separate those feelings from thoughts of suicide. Suicidal thoughts can be addictive, we learn, with romantic notions of one's death and funeral building upon each other. And these suicidal thoughts from one's brain war with one's spirit, which doesn't want to die, creating the conflict in the title.

The heart of the book is the "Tips of the Trade," 25 different ideas, strategies, and plans that people with suicidal thoughts can use to help avoid harming themselves. The most invaluable of these is the "Crisis Plan," which is easily the best thing about the book. Blauner details the plan that she, along with her therapist, worked out to help her deal with suicidal thoughts. It begins with "Take a deep breath," and proceeds from there to prayer, activities, exercise, and phone calls to family, friends, and professionals. Applying the principles of strategic planning and crisis management to one's personal life may seem a little unorthodox, but it is undoubtedly effective, and may prove to be so for people with a variety of different needs.

The "Tricks" are extremely varied, and more than a little eclectic. (This is to be expected from an author who describes herself as a "Jewish Unitarian Zen-Quakerish earth-loving type.") Not all of the "Tricks" will help everyone, and more than a few of them may seem a little goofy, if not out-and-out weird. Realistically, though, you never can tell what might help someone set aside a suicidal thought. If throwing eggs at trees, or sitting in a chair with a bucket between your knees helps someone, then it's a trick worth sharing, no matter how odd it sounds.

HOW I STAYED ALIVE WHEN MY BRAIN WAS TRYING TO KILL ME is not an incredibly well-written book, but it is brave and courageous and helpful, full of resources and tips and ideas and strength for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or anyone with a friend or family member with such experiences. More than that, it is a book that is, quite simply, "normal," if not invaluable, in helping people in this situation finish the job of life.

--- Reviewed by Curtis Edmonds

I found this book quite by accident laying obviously in the wrong place at the public library. I've suffered from depression for 7 years and it got worse and worse until I became suicidal. From page 1, the author's words caught me and I recognized myself in her. The best thing for me in the book was the Tricks of the Trade section where I was guided through ways to help cope and the almost 'work-book' like style. It gave me strategies and hands on things to try to when I needed it the most. I took the book to my psychiatrist and showed him what I was doing and he applauded me. Now my husband is reading it and I'd highly recommend it.

The book is written in an everyday tone of voice, it's not medical, it's not preachy, it's just like talking to someone who's been there.

I wish I'd had a copy of this book when I was suicidal. It's full of simple, practical ideas for keeping yourself safe and beginning to feel better. The crisis plan is especially good, and easy to follow even when you find it hard to think straight. The only reason I gave this book four stars rather than five is that I came across it after I'd recovered, and haven't tried out all of its techniques myself - but from my experience of what did help me, they're all excellent.

"How I Stayed Alive..." would also be a useful self-help book for people who self-injure, even if they don't feel suicidal. Most of the suggestions work just as well for getting through the urge to self-harm.

I've heard two main criticisms of this book. The first is that the author wasn't "really" suicidal, but just attention-seeking. I disagree. All suicide attempts should be taken seriously, even if the person's done it many times before, or chooses to get help afterwards. In fact, the more unsuccessful suicide attempts a person has made, the more likely they are statistically to die by their own hand. And seeking medical help after one has taken an overdose can, tragically, be too late. That's why books such as this one are so important, because they help prevent the suicide attempts in the first place. Admittedly, this book is aimed mainly at people whose suicidal thoughts and feelings come and go, and who need help in getting through those difficult times without harming themselves. Someone who is unrelentingly suicidal and not interested in alternative courses of action probably needs to be in hospital, not reading a self-help book.

The other criticism I've heard is that not all the book's suggestions can be used by everyone. That's true. Some people may not have a good friend they can ring up in the middle of the night, while others may not be able to afford therapy. But "How I Stayed Alive..." also contains many techniques that require nothing more than a copy of the book. I'd encourage anyone who uses this book to adapt the crisis plan to their own particular situation, removing any steps that aren't appropriate and adding in anything extra they can think of.

"How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me" should be required reading for anyone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, or self-harm.

I love this book. I sleep with it next to my bed, and I plan to buy additional copies for some loved ones.
The author has a wonderfully fresh and immediate style. She welcomes me into her book with warmth and grace, and she has a way of telling her story in such a thoughtful, natural way that I feel very much at ease in her "presence", even when the matter discussed is of a frightening and disturbing nature. I am not currently suicidal, but I have been in the past, and this book communicates perfectly the kinds of feelings I experienced at that time. I was fotunate enough to get through my situation-- and I can't help but imagine how this book might have helped me if it had been around then. Thankfully, it is now here to help the many in pain who need this author's insight and clarity.
Another thing that strikes me about this book is the fact that although it specifically targets those struggling with suicide, I find it to extremely helpful in helping me out of the despair associated with difficulty and tragedy in my life. The "tricks of the trade" that help a suicidal reader to find her way back to life also help me away from sometimes seemingly insurmountable despair and back toward feelings of hope and possibility, simply by reminding me that feelings are fluid and impermanent. They always give way and change eventually.
I love this book, and I highly recommend it to those having suicidal thoughts as well as to anyone who might benefit from a new perspective on finding one's way through the darknesses of living. I can hardly wait to read more from Susan Rose Blauner. Well done!

This is an interesting book and a good resource. The book's title in itself truly depicts what happens in a suicidal person. In a way, it's not really the person that kills the self but rather it's the brain and the "chemical imbalance" associated with it that causes damage. So can changing the brain chemistry effect a change and save lives? Sure-that's what medication does. This is how psychotherapy works.

In Ms. Blauner's book, several "tricks of the trade" were discussed. Asking for help, emergency contacts, and keeping a journal are just some of the practical ways of dealing with suicidality. Her "crisis plan" is a useful formula that a person should have to avert any self-destructive thoughts or behavior. Likewise, the chapter on spirituality is a gem.

Written in a layman's prose, the book stands out in making complicated concepts (such as neuron and electrochemical transmission) more understandable and seemingly "easy" concepts, clearer.

This is gentle, kind, loving, familiar, HONEST - susan has the conversation --- you're having with yourself --- with you. And talks you out of it. And talks you out of discussing it anymore... it may take a while to take, to completely sink in... but this book put the cabash (sp?) on my periodic suicidally depressed times (I voluntarily checked myself into a hospital twice - and the unreimbursed cost was going to be a few 1000 dollars - and I am CHEAP and told myself I could go to PARIS AND ROME on that money --- but knew that I had no more than 3-5 hours to live unless I got myself quickly to a place where I wouldn't be able to end my life. Also, this book just made me feel better somehow: not happy or OK --- but better. REALLY. A great gift to all of us. Thanks a million to the author!

Susan Blauner's book has helped me immensely. I am so grateful to her for her strength and courage, to stay alive and live so well and share her story, and for being so devoted to helping others do the same.

When I had depression, what helped me the most - despite the fact that I did not actually contemplate suicide - was reading this book and doing the exercises in it (i.e. the "Tricks of the Trade"). I appreciate Susan's clear writing style, her candidness and directness, and her pragmatism. I had been spiraling into depression for weeks, but something "clicked" inside of me when I began reading Susan's words - I realized that helping myself was possible and a worthwhile endeavor! I called in sick to work that day and for the first time, didn't feel guilty and selfish for doing so - I spent the whole day reading the book, and trying Susan's suggestions. I wrote a crisis plan (Trick #3, p. 69), made a "God box" (Trick #7, p. 103), wrote positive affirmations and put them all over my house (Trick #17, p. 165), and called a family member to talk even though asking for help had always been really hard for me (Trick #1, p. 59). It was a great start, and for several days, I carried that book around like a security blanket. One morning I noticed myself start to meltdown "randomly"...and in the past, I wouldn't have known how to stop it, but this time, I went back to the book. I did the "Feelings" and "Feelings vs. Facts" exercises (Tricks #4 and 5, p. 82 and 94), and analyzed what I was thinking and feeling and why. I was able to identify several things that had "triggered" me in the past 12 hours, and thus understood why I was feeling on the verge of a meltdown, and then I was able to see that my feelings were different than the facts. It really worked, and I avoided the meltdown.

When someone I love very much attempted suicide, I immediately bought a copy of Susan's book for him. He has told me it's very helpful, and the book is clear and flows well. I agree - depression clouds the brain, and when just getting out of bed and eating breakfast feels like climbing a mountain, I need simple, clear, gentle words. When I'm deep in depression, I need to read things like step-by-step instructions on how to breathe!! I appreciate how the book teaches coping skills and strategies for people who may not have (m)any.

My depression was situational and I fortunately caught it early before it became very severe. I'm feeling much better now that I've made big lifestyle changes - changes that Susan gave me the courage to make. I'm no longer experiencing depression, but I still refer to Susan's book often, as preventative medicine, in a way. Her philosophies and practices are sound, and help me through rough patches.

I highly recommend How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me to anyone who has depression or cares about someone who has depression.

This book was given to me by my husband when I was in a psychiatric hospital's program dealing with suicidal ideation related to extreme depression and my diagnosis with multiple sclerosis. He picked it up at our library; I bought it in hardcover when the library copy had to go back.

I opened this book, and started to cry -- This could have been someone who picked up my journals, it so mirrored my FEELINGS, though not my exact situation. I felt an instant rapport with the author and understood her struggles intimately.

There are parts of this book that didn't resonate for me, as I am sure there are for others. But on the whole, this book helped me to re-start the process of being, and building, a strong and resilient me. There's something here for everyone, whether you are struggling or well. I have used it now for nearly 9 months. (And I see a psychiatrist too. Incidentally, he thought it very strong as well!) It is still relevant and helpful though I am happy and well now.

Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." In "How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me," Susan Rose Blauner pursues a courageous and painstaking examination of a life of pain and suffering, discovery and remarkable personal growth. Bearing witness to history, culture, and personal experience is perhaps the most crucial responsibility of being human. With her willingness to disclose the details of her personal journey from despair to hope, Ms. Blauner has borne witness to a very personal struggle in a way that provides guidance to others who suffer similarly. This guide through the minefield of suicidal thoughts and impulses will inevitably save lives.

While the author provides considerable insight regarding the nature and origins of suicidal thoughts, the heart of the guide is Chapter Three, entitiled "Tricks of the Trade." In this chapter, she offers a variety of practical steps that can be taken to overcome suicidal impulses when they occur. While every step may not appeal to everyone, there is enough variety to provide useful strategies for most people who struggle with suicide. Trick #19: Helping Others is particularly pertinent. I would add to this step imagining the possibilities for helping others in the future. Had Susan Blauner envisioned sooner the influence that she would eventually have upon so many lives, her will to live may have grown stronger years earlier. Perhaps the most crucial message of this work, then, is that it is worth going on if only to discover our capacity for bringing light into other lives.

Having lived for 35 years with suicidal thoughts and several attempts I know first hand what it's like to have these terrifying thoughts trying to take over your mind. After meeting Susan, hearing her story, and reading her book, I have been able to better understand what is happening to me and how to "trick" my brain into thinking better thoughts. Susan is a true miracle and will be a great success in the world of suicide prevention. Everyone touched by suicide in any form needs to hear Susans story in order to really understand what suicide is all about.