Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying [Paperback]

Michael Riera (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 15, 2003

At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today's often-crazy world.The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends' families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and, if they're not on the lookout, they'll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a "managing" to a "consulting" role in a teen's life, from working with a teen's uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Bay Area Parent, 2/09
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

Westchester Family, January 2009
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

About the Author

Michael Riera, Ph.D., has worked in education since 1980. The author or co-author of four other popular parenting books including Field Guide to the American Teenager and Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers, he is the family and adolescent correspondent on "The CBS Early Show." He has also appeared on "Oprah," "Today," "The View," and "48 Hours." He lives in Berkeley, California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (April 15, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0738208450
• ISBN-13: 978-0738208459
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,046 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

77 of 78 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Insight, December 4, 2007

By 

Everyman (Florida) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying (Paperback)

This is by far the best book I have EVER read regarding my relationship with my two teenagers! One of the most revealing things to hit me was the concept of transitioning from a "Manager" to a "Consultant" in your relationship with your teen...how profoundly helpful.
No other book has helped me on so many levels in my relations with my children. I am divorced father and have an ex who didn't care to co-parent because she was sure that she knew everything about raising kids that I didn't. That may have rung true to an extent until they became teenagers.
As a result of putting into practice what I learned in this book, my son and daughter told me of their partying habits and that of their friends, in addition to other confidentialities. They confided in me that they told me things they wouldn't dare tell their mother. A couple of times they got drunk and called me because they knew that I would deal with them differently than their mother...all because of what I learned from this insightful book. I have had a very satisfying relationship with them both in terms of communication and openness, which has enriched my life to no end, and I believe theirs as well. My son called me from college one night several years later and thanked me for our relationship...which almost brought me to tears. We remain as close as we became when he was a teen. My teenage daughter and I have a great relationship as well. I have recommended this book to many of my friends who have teenagers. This should be REQUIRED reading for parents of teenagers! You really HAVE to read this book to effectively understand and be able to interact with your teen(s). I read this over several times and had sections marked as references to keep it fresh.

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book, October 14, 2007

By 

J J Dillo "J J Dillo" (Rochester, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying (Paperback)

My daughter is just about to turn 14. She is a great kid but in the last 6 months I had really had a harder and harder time talking to her. I found I lost my temper on a regular basis when she didn't do what I wanted or act like I wanted...I am about 75% through the book and I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously. I no longer get mad, I understand much better how to deal with her and that its not me. I have been able to apply some of the techniques decribed in the book and they work. Highly recommend to anyone who has teenagers.

108 of 119 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mike Riera is a the best in his field, June 6, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying (Paperback)

Mike Riera writes about teens in a way that demonstrates his incredible respect for them. He helps us to take teens seriously, and not to dismiss their behavior as simply "dramatic" or "a stage."
He is truly gifted, as a writer and a professional working with teens and families. He is thoughtful, real, and accessible to parents and to teens. I use his work everyday to inform my own work with teens, and his books are an incredible resource to offer to parents.