Customer Reviews

Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is by far the best book I have EVER read regarding my relationship with my two teenagers! One of the most revealing things to hit me was the concept of transitioning from a "Manager" to a "Consultant" in your relationship with your teen...how profoundly helpful.
No other book has helped me on so many levels in my relations with my children. I am divorced father and have an ex who didn't care to co-parent because she was sure that she knew everything about raising kids that I didn't. That may have rung true to an extent until they became teenagers.
As a result of putting into practice what I learned in this book, my son and daughter told me of their partying habits and that of their friends, in addition to other confidentialities. They confided in me that they told me things they wouldn't dare tell their mother. A couple of times they got drunk and called me because they knew that I would deal with them differently than their mother...all because of what I learned from this insightful book. I have had a very satisfying relationship with them both in terms of communication and openness, which has enriched my life to no end, and I believe theirs as well. My son called me from college one night several years later and thanked me for our relationship...which almost brought me to tears. We remain as close as we became when he was a teen. My teenage daughter and I have a great relationship as well. I have recommended this book to many of my friends who have teenagers. This should be REQUIRED reading for parents of teenagers! You really HAVE to read this book to effectively understand and be able to interact with your teen(s). I read this over several times and had sections marked as references to keep it fresh.

My daughter is just about to turn 14. She is a great kid but in the last 6 months I had really had a harder and harder time talking to her. I found I lost my temper on a regular basis when she didn't do what I wanted or act like I wanted...I am about 75% through the book and I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously. I no longer get mad, I understand much better how to deal with her and that its not me. I have been able to apply some of the techniques decribed in the book and they work. Highly recommend to anyone who has teenagers.

Mike Riera writes about teens in a way that demonstrates his incredible respect for them. He helps us to take teens seriously, and not to dismiss their behavior as simply "dramatic" or "a stage."
He is truly gifted, as a writer and a professional working with teens and families. He is thoughtful, real, and accessible to parents and to teens. I use his work everyday to inform my own work with teens, and his books are an incredible resource to offer to parents.

My daughter is nearly twelve and for the last few months our relationship has been deteriorating steadily. She's such a different personality from me that I found my intuition - which has always helped me greatly with my son - was of no use at all. All I knew was that on a daily basis I was failing as a parent and neither of us were having any fun.

Staying Connected To Your Teenager has been extremely helpful in providing some perspective and some useful suggestions. Like many other books of this type, often the greatest benefit comes from stepping back a little and considering events from a slightly new perspective. When I disagree with the author I find myself having to think through my own approach carefully, which is very beneficial. And when the author seems to be on solid ground I feel as if I've been given a key to the door that has until now barred the way between my daughter and me.

As a European I'm still puzzled as to why American teenagers seem to be so much more difficult to handle than teenagers in other cultures. Perhaps it is a combination of an extended childhood, the lack of serious responsibilities, and an entertainment-oriented lifestyle in which if things are not effortlessly fun they are automatically boring. But whatever the underlying causes of American Teenage Malaise, my daughter is 100% American raised and consequently I need to understand how to be a more effective parent in this context. This book has provided me with several useful approaches and has led to me developing several more as a result of thinking through matters in light of the author's observations.

I do wish there was an alternative to the standard American approach to sexuality but the innate assumptions of the author, made explicit, have helped me to understand a little more how US culture sees this area of human activity and therefore, by extension, how my daughter will increasingly see it as she grows up. I may not like it, but I need to understand it and react accordingly, even while I yearn for some way that she could spend a few years elsewhere to round out her understanding and provide a more adult context for this important part of human life.

I can recommend this highly to anyone struggling with the teenage years, even if - as is my case - the children in question aren't even officially teenagers yet.

I just finished this and passed it on to my husband to read (after highlighting many sections that apply specifically to our relationship with our 15 year old daughter). I learned so many things from this book - about myself AND my daughter. One of the most helpful discoveries was realizing that she actually is a normal and fairly typical teenager and, much to my relief, is not in need of an exorcism. I've seen a difference already in our ability to communicate effectively with each other and I'll refer to this book again and again ... especially with our son's teenage years just around the corner.

Anyone with a teenager(s)in the house should do whatever is neccessary to make the time to read this book! I am only a few pages from finishing this book and this is as close to an "OWNER'S MANUAL" about teenagers as you're going to get. It will help you to better understand what's going on inside your amazing teen and enable you to help him/her through a most awkward (not to mention dangerous) stage of life. I wouldn't make your teen aware that you're reading this though, because there's alot of great info that a parent needs to know but may not want the teen to know that you know, if you know what I mean. And if you remember being a teen and think that will help you dealing with your teen, guess again. The problem is that when we were teens we didn't know the reasons for all the things that went on in our bodies as well as our lives. This book makes it all crystal clear, and understanding is the key to safety and harmony for you and your teen. If you love them and would like to regain your sanity read this book ASAP!

I have recommended this book to every parent I know of a teen or preteen. It not only provides tips and "tricks" for setting up communication opportunities, but also really helps parents to not take certain teen behaviors personally. The rules change when our kids become teens. This book is a great resource for the "new" person you find living in your child's room. THANK YOU, Mr. Riera for writing this book and sharing your insight.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough! I have found SO many useful pointers in this book! It doesn't state the same platitudes over and over about your teenager. It gives you practical advice on when opportunities arise and how to read your teenager's moods. This book has helped me in SO many ways to stay connected with my teenage daughters! I now know when to shut up and when to give feedback. I know when to look for opportunities and when to not freak out because they're not opening up to me.

I am about 1/2 way through this book and it is excellent, best book I have read about raising kids. I am trying hard to change the way I address my children as they get older and this book is certainly helping to open the lines of communication up. Definately worth reading!

I raised three kids and then re-married and am now helping to raise two more. This book brought back to memory several of the things I did right with my own kids and where I am now missing the boat with my bonus kids. I have not finished reading it but insisted that my spouse read it first. I like that it teaches that you can "be the parent" yet have meaningful conversations with your kids. The one draw back is that it is written for older teens that have more freedoms. However, if the foundation is in place at a younger age, it will continue through life.