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Staying True [Hardcover]

Jenny Sanford
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (74 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 5, 2010
In this candid and compelling memoir, the first lady of South Carolina reveals the private ordeal behind her very public betrayal—and offers inspiration for anyone struggling to keep faith during life’s most trying times.

She’s been a successful investment banker, a mother of four, and the campaign manager for one of American politics’ rising stars—her husband, Mark Sanford of South Carolina, once widely hailed as a possible candidate for president in 2012. Yet to most Americans, Jenny Sanford is best known for the one role she refused to play—that of conventional political spouse standing silently by while her husband went before the media and confessed his infidelity. Instead, she stayed true—to herself, to her faith, and to her highest ideals of parenthood and public service. She chose to let Mark Sanford deal with the embarrassment and political fallout from his own actions while focusing her own efforts privately on raising their children to be men of character, even in the face of the lies their father has told.

In Staying True, Jenny Sanford recalls her shock and anguish upon discovering that her husband was having an affair with a woman in Argentina, and the further pain when she learned—just a day ahead of most Americans—that he had not ended the affair when she believed he had. She reveals the source of her determination to be honest and forthright instead of the victim in the tabloid passion play that gripped the nation in June 2009.
 
But her story neither begins nor ends with Mark Sanford’s astounding fall from grace. Writing with uncommon candor from a deep well of spiritual strength, Sanford shares personal stories and life lessons from before and after she stepped into the public realm. She recounts the many stresses—as well as the myriad joys—that she experienced on a daily basis while living in the governmental spotlight. (Just try keeping four young boys out of mischief in the governor’s mansion!) And she describes the many ways that the seductions of power can drive apart even the most committed couples.

At every step along her journey, Jenny Sanford has made choices: She gave up her career, moved far from her home state of Illinois, even changed her religious practices. Every choice was a glad concession to harmonious married life and, in some cases, to the support of her husband’s political aspirations. But the one thing she never gave up was her sense of self, her inner moral compass. Her remarkable poise and decency make her a role model for men and women alike. Her story will empower anyone who has fought to maintain independence and integrity—within a marriage or elsewhere in life.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Look Inside Staying True

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"Our wedding day, November 4, 1989."
"Campaigning was always a family affair."
"Blake meets President George W. Bush"


From Publishers Weekly

Sanford—the wronged wife of Mark Sanford, disgraced governor of South Carolina, who famously refused to stand by him when his affair came to light—delivers a crisp and affecting reading of her memoir of her family, career, faith, and the very public implosion of her marriage. She's surprisingly relatable and possessed of a very dry wit. When the news of her husband's affair broke, her husband asked her what to say in his first public appearance. She told him, Don't talk about your heart. Watching him sob (carry on in Jenny Sanford's words) during a mea culpa almost completely devoted to matters of his heart, she was surrounded by her posse of friends, one of whom observed, He wasn't hiking the Appalachian trail, he was getting some Argentinean tail. Even if Sanford's piety occasionally finds best expression in platitudes, she turns out a memorable listen; after a while her detachment and the edge to her voice seem less like drawbacks than signs of her admirable reserve and steeliness of character. A Ballantine hardcover. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Edition edition (February 5, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345522397
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345522399
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (74 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #419,345 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
149 of 171 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Darned If I Know February 7, 2010
Format:Hardcover
First, the good news. This book is available at a generally low price for a hardback and it is a fast, fast read. The ghostwriter and editor did a fantastic job in insuring that the prose never got too purple and the sentences stayed blunt and to the point. As reads go, it gets no easier.

Second, I have no idea why on earth I read this book. Although I live in South Carolina, I have to admit that I have never had any feelings about the Sanfords one way or the other. Until the "Hiking the Trail" incident, I thought he was a rather colorless but efficient executive, and Jenny Sanford a good public speaker. That's about all. And I did approve of her refusing to play the "martyred wife" when he disclosed his affair, choosing instead to go into semi-seclusion at the family beach home with her four sons and initially eschew voracious local media coverage. But when I finished this book, if half of it is true, I concluded that the title should not be "Staying True" as opposed to "The Weirdness of What Happens Behind Closed Doors." And, just to satisfy myself, I wrote a friend of mine who has been active in precinct level Republican politics in South Carolina for a long, long time. I was very surprised that he was less than flattering about both of the Sanfords, which, oddly enough, lent a certain credibility to what I read, even as he admits that he was disgusted by the whole affair and expressed the wish, in no uncertain terms, that the story would just "go away."

Jenny Sanford's biography reveals a tough, genteel woman of old New England aristocracy, about as blue-blooded as one can be. But as she tells her story about the failure of her marriage, I had to wonder why on earth she remained in it so long, something I don't think she explains very readily. Her portrait of her husband is one of a self-absorbed skinflint who had the passion of a bowl of Cream of Wheat and the sensitivity of a trashcan rat. And she obviously relishes telling all manner of stories to back up this claim. For example, his taking a favorite diamond necklace from her because it was too expensive and he regretted his ostentation in purchasing it, or leaving her alone as she underwent a tubal ligation to avoid the danger of a fifth pregnancy when her fourth proved both dangerous and unusually arduous. And this litany of anecdotal claims goes on and on. For far too long. I honestly have to wonder if she thought about whether or not any of her sons would pick up this book one day and have to live with the knowledge that their father was a philandering cad and - to be perfectly candid - such a "weirdo." Maybe she was being justifiably cathartic, but some of this verged on vengeful. I do not hold that against her. I am not Jenny Sanford, and I cannot stand in her shoes, and she was obviously scorched by these events. But the low level of truly poisonous penmanship I found rather frigid to the point of making her an almost unsympathetic person. She is only saved by the fact that her husband - allegedly - makes her look positively Pollyanna-ish in comparison. Still, too much of the smoke of burning martyr sends its clouds off the pages at points. She did not break her silence. She threw a baseball bat through it.

Still, the latter part of the book is far more gentle where she begins to discuss what she will possibly do with her future, even if she is less than clear. Some mention is made of her possibly going on the evangelical talk circuit, or perhaps working in politics herself. Nothing is resolved, nothing made clear. And again, perhaps that's fine. It is entirely possible she does not know herself as of yet. And that kind of human uncertainty goes far in making the larger book a shade more palatable. And the other saving grace, I think, is while the four chlidren are mentioned throughout the book, they are really not discussed in any way I found exploitative.

But, still, I unmistakably heard two voices come out of Jenny Sanford's mouth - the "woman scorned" and the woman who seems to want to say she has made sense of it all but obviously has not. And this left me dissatisfied and even a little confused. And where I wanted her to speak in detail the loudest - about why she remained with her husband knowing his odd selfishness as she did, for example, or telling us what she really thinks about the travails of being a wife of a pol caught in a sex scandal - the book is strangely flat. This gloss is certainly not because of her lack of intelligence, since she is, quite obviously, extraordinarily well-educated and a woman of powerful opinions. Perhaps she is not ready. Perhaps she never will be. Her regional social background is one where great disclosures of emotion and publicly exposed marital chaos are often less than welcome. Maybe it should have stayed that way. I honestly don't know, and when the book ended, I was just rather relieved.

So, I would recommend it if this story interests you, but with reservations. I have a funny, funny feeling that this is not all of the story by half, but I am certainly not interested in knowing more. A sad read about a family's tragic ending that perhaps needs to end with this book and Mark Sanford's continuing silence. Maybe in silence the two of them will find some measure of peace when the Klieg lights go out and the rapidly diminishing public who remain interested move on because, in the end, most all such stories tend to end up one way - mercifully forgotten.
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49 of 59 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER !!!! February 8, 2010
By Babs
Format:Hardcover
When he left her the car and instructions on how to reach the house in South Carolina, that is when she should have headed north on the very next plane home.
Instead, she lost all sense of herself by marrying this man.
He is a manipulator and a control freak. She can talk all about how he is earnest in his beliefs for this country, but that is not the case.
He sees people as a useful tool for himself and a means to an end.
I think Jenny was a push over to all of HIS wants and needs.
The last straw for Jenny was the tan lines this jerk found in Argentina. I would not be at all surprised that the Argentina tan lines were not the first time he ever saw tan lines in this marriage.
I am just suprised she stayed in this so called marriage for 20 years. He told her what to do and she did what she was told. The old excuse that she did it for her boys has been used way too many times.
It would have been a different story if she would have stood up to him and let him know exactly how she felt about many situations he put her in and many things she was told to do by him. Love can blind a person and she sure was blinded throughout this marriage.
I would be curious to know just how much quality time he spent with his sons. Since he was hardly home I don't see what kind of father he could possibly be to the boys. His TRIP to his soul mate was on Father's Day weekend.
Throughout the entire book she describes his penny pinching ways. The diamond necklace was a shocker to me. What kind of a man and husband would do that to his wife? She put up with a bunch of BS from him since the very beginning of the marriage. She was a very educated woman that had tremendous self esteem and he tore that from her. She should have, many years ago, taken her boys and went back to a family that loved and respected her.
She will come away from this so called marriage with peace of mind and great respect for herself for not STANDING BY HER MAN!!!!!!!! She stood by him for far too many years. The only time she STAYED TRUE was when she packed her bags and left the governor's mansion.
I hope she remarries and finds the love that she and her boys both deserve.
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50 of 64 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful read- Inspiring Story February 5, 2010
Format:Hardcover
I picked up this book this morning at the bookstore and tore through it! It is an incredible story of strength and integrity. It's sad, happy, romantic, heart-wrenching, and also quite a bit juicy! But, most importantly, it's a story of inspiration. Jenny exemplifies a mature, grounded woman who chose to stay true to herself rather than play victim to her husband's utter moral and spiritual failures. I also enjoyed the pictures inside the book. Regardless of her role as First Lady, South Carolina is blessed to have such a iconic woman!Staying True
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Jenny Sanford is my kind of woman
I am really conflicted about this book. First I want to say how much I admire Jenny and it takes a lot of courage to go through something so humiliating. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Navy Bean
1.0 out of 5 stars I found this at the dollar store, and I'd like my dollar back, please.
Paging Dr. Freud:

"{Jenny} threw {Mark} a surprise party...his friends and family emerged from the gardens all dressed in funeral wear. Read more
Published 13 months ago by EMG
3.0 out of 5 stars Great for Mothers with Daughters!
I'm not sure why I read this book but I'm glad I did. The first sentence in Chapter One tells you why he cheated. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Tami Goldman
4.0 out of 5 stars Candid and sincere
Mrs. Sanford did a good job of divulging the wife's point of view but her husband is fruitcake. Somebody should have thrown cold water in his face and reminded him he was the... Read more
Published 16 months ago by CamdenNJReader
2.0 out of 5 stars Oh Jenny...WHY??
Thought this would be a real eye opening book...another big political figure goes down with a sordid story of love and lust...International Style!! Read more
Published 21 months ago by Karen
5.0 out of 5 stars interesting insight into (scorned) political wife's POV: sad, not...
I'm surprised she'd write such an honest account of her marriage, including highs and lows, warts and all. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Susan Goewey
2.0 out of 5 stars Was there ever a relationship?
This is a memoir of Jenny Sanford, the first lady of South Carolina, whose husband Mark publicly confessed his affair with an Argentinean woman in June 2009. Read more
Published 23 months ago by M. A. Ramos
3.0 out of 5 stars jenny sanford
jenny sanford touched my heart with her honesty and spirituality. She went into a lot of detail on the political work she did with her 'jerk' and I would have preferred more about... Read more
Published on January 9, 2011 by Nora M. North
5.0 out of 5 stars sde1958
This book tells the true feelings of this women who lived for her family. She could only take so much and had to be true to herself. She is a true hero in my book. Read more
Published on December 27, 2010 by Sherry Eidson
5.0 out of 5 stars Strong lady....
As a SC resident, I was disgusted when our governor exposed his affair on National television. I was aghast at what his poor wife was going through. Read more
Published on December 20, 2010 by J. Reno
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Staying True...
So, what finally happened? I assume they got divorced, but is Sanford still in politics, and where is Jenny now?
Jan 1, 2011 by Scarlett |  See all 2 posts
Thanks, Ballentine for having the 9.99 Kindle immediately.
Agreed! Since the NE snowstorm coerced me into staying at home, the immediate availability of this book, at a very reasonable price, allowed it to find a home on my Kindle2, pronto. I was interested in Game Change and The Politician. But, as MacMillan has no interest in my purchasing dollars,... Read more
Feb 7, 2010 by P.Broadnax |  See all 2 posts
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