Customer Reviews

Staying True

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(19)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

First, the good news. This book is available at a generally low price for a hardback and it is a fast, fast read. The ghostwriter and editor did a fantastic job in insuring that the prose never got too purple and the sentences stayed blunt and to the point. As reads go, it gets no easier.

Second, I have no idea why on earth I read this book. Although I live in South Carolina, I have to admit that I have never had any feelings about the Sanfords one way or the other. Until the "Hiking the Trail" incident, I thought he was a rather colorless but efficient executive, and Jenny Sanford a good public speaker. That's about all. And I did approve of her refusing to play the "martyred wife" when he disclosed his affair, choosing instead to go into semi-seclusion at the family beach home with her four sons and initially eschew voracious local media coverage. But when I finished this book, if half of it is true, I concluded that the title should not be "Staying True" as opposed to "The Weirdness of What Happens Behind Closed Doors." And, just to satisfy myself, I wrote a friend of mine who has been active in precinct level Republican politics in South Carolina for a long, long time. I was very surprised that he was less than flattering about both of the Sanfords, which, oddly enough, lent a certain credibility to what I read, even as he admits that he was disgusted by the whole affair and expressed the wish, in no uncertain terms, that the story would just "go away."

Jenny Sanford's biography reveals a tough, genteel woman of old New England aristocracy, about as blue-blooded as one can be. But as she tells her story about the failure of her marriage, I had to wonder why on earth she remained in it so long, something I don't think she explains very readily. Her portrait of her husband is one of a self-absorbed skinflint who had the passion of a bowl of Cream of Wheat and the sensitivity of a trashcan rat. And she obviously relishes telling all manner of stories to back up this claim. For example, his taking a favorite diamond necklace from her because it was too expensive and he regretted his ostentation in purchasing it, or leaving her alone as she underwent a tubal ligation to avoid the danger of a fifth pregnancy when her fourth proved both dangerous and unusually arduous. And this litany of anecdotal claims goes on and on. For far too long. I honestly have to wonder if she thought about whether or not any of her sons would pick up this book one day and have to live with the knowledge that their father was a philandering cad and - to be perfectly candid - such a "weirdo." Maybe she was being justifiably cathartic, but some of this verged on vengeful. I do not hold that against her. I am not Jenny Sanford, and I cannot stand in her shoes, and she was obviously scorched by these events. But the low level of truly poisonous penmanship I found rather frigid to the point of making her an almost unsympathetic person. She is only saved by the fact that her husband - allegedly - makes her look positively Pollyanna-ish in comparison. Still, too much of the smoke of burning martyr sends its clouds off the pages at points. She did not break her silence. She threw a baseball bat through it.

Still, the latter part of the book is far more gentle where she begins to discuss what she will possibly do with her future, even if she is less than clear. Some mention is made of her possibly going on the evangelical talk circuit, or perhaps working in politics herself. Nothing is resolved, nothing made clear. And again, perhaps that's fine. It is entirely possible she does not know herself as of yet. And that kind of human uncertainty goes far in making the larger book a shade more palatable. And the other saving grace, I think, is while the four chlidren are mentioned throughout the book, they are really not discussed in any way I found exploitative.

But, still, I unmistakably heard two voices come out of Jenny Sanford's mouth - the "woman scorned" and the woman who seems to want to say she has made sense of it all but obviously has not. And this left me dissatisfied and even a little confused. And where I wanted her to speak in detail the loudest - about why she remained with her husband knowing his odd selfishness as she did, for example, or telling us what she really thinks about the travails of being a wife of a pol caught in a sex scandal - the book is strangely flat. This gloss is certainly not because of her lack of intelligence, since she is, quite obviously, extraordinarily well-educated and a woman of powerful opinions. Perhaps she is not ready. Perhaps she never will be. Her regional social background is one where great disclosures of emotion and publicly exposed marital chaos are often less than welcome. Maybe it should have stayed that way. I honestly don't know, and when the book ended, I was just rather relieved.

So, I would recommend it if this story interests you, but with reservations. I have a funny, funny feeling that this is not all of the story by half, but I am certainly not interested in knowing more. A sad read about a family's tragic ending that perhaps needs to end with this book and Mark Sanford's continuing silence. Maybe in silence the two of them will find some measure of peace when the Klieg lights go out and the rapidly diminishing public who remain interested move on because, in the end, most all such stories tend to end up one way - mercifully forgotten.

When he left her the car and instructions on how to reach the house in South Carolina, that is when she should have headed north on the very next plane home.
Instead, she lost all sense of herself by marrying this man.
He is a manipulator and a control freak. She can talk all about how he is earnest in his beliefs for this country, but that is not the case.
He sees people as a useful tool for himself and a means to an end.
I think Jenny was a push over to all of HIS wants and needs.
The last straw for Jenny was the tan lines this jerk found in Argentina. I would not be at all surprised that the Argentina tan lines were not the first time he ever saw tan lines in this marriage.
I am just suprised she stayed in this so called marriage for 20 years. He told her what to do and she did what she was told. The old excuse that she did it for her boys has been used way too many times.
It would have been a different story if she would have stood up to him and let him know exactly how she felt about many situations he put her in and many things she was told to do by him. Love can blind a person and she sure was blinded throughout this marriage.
I would be curious to know just how much quality time he spent with his sons. Since he was hardly home I don't see what kind of father he could possibly be to the boys. His TRIP to his soul mate was on Father's Day weekend.
Throughout the entire book she describes his penny pinching ways. The diamond necklace was a shocker to me. What kind of a man and husband would do that to his wife? She put up with a bunch of BS from him since the very beginning of the marriage. She was a very educated woman that had tremendous self esteem and he tore that from her. She should have, many years ago, taken her boys and went back to a family that loved and respected her.
She will come away from this so called marriage with peace of mind and great respect for herself for not STANDING BY HER MAN!!!!!!!! She stood by him for far too many years. The only time she STAYED TRUE was when she packed her bags and left the governor's mansion.
I hope she remarries and finds the love that she and her boys both deserve.

I picked up this book this morning at the bookstore and tore through it! It is an incredible story of strength and integrity. It's sad, happy, romantic, heart-wrenching, and also quite a bit juicy! But, most importantly, it's a story of inspiration. Jenny exemplifies a mature, grounded woman who chose to stay true to herself rather than play victim to her husband's utter moral and spiritual failures. I also enjoyed the pictures inside the book. Regardless of her role as First Lady, South Carolina is blessed to have such a iconic woman!Staying True

this autobiography of a long suffering, very long suffering, spouse
is so boring it can be read in 10 minutes if you skip to about the end and finally breathe with relief that she has cut him free (he was going anyway! Jenny Sanford's constant forgiveness, coupled with her trust in the Lord, is unbearable to read over and over and over again as are all the tributes to Mark and how wonderfully supportive she has been to the "wonderful" man. Either she wrote the book to try to get him back as she extols all his virtues ad nauseum, or she's just not capable or willing to feel the anger that would have led her to leave years before. She is also the perfect mother with perfect friends and parents. Frankly, although I deplore Mark Sanford's actions, he may have found her a little too perfect...

This book was impressive! I pre-ordered it on my Kindle and could not wait to read it!

Some people may purchase it in hopes that it will give all the sorrid details of our Governor's affair---save your money. Jenny Sanford is a spiritual, classy, funny, and smart woman. She recognized that there were problems early on in her marriage and was very honest about her choice to ignore them. Instead of being a whining "woe is me" book, she takes personal responsibility for many things that perhaps she could have done differently.

I never really gave much thought to Jenny Sanford, my perception was that she was a wealthy GOP wife and not much more. I now know that she is so much more than that! I am proud that she is the First Lady of South Carolina and she is a wonderful example of what the words "Staying True" mean. She could have stood by her man, but after reading the book you will realize that her spirituality and drive to be an example for her children would not allow it.

As of late, I haven't been a proud "South Carolinian"(Governor Sanford, Joe Wilson, Lt. Governor Bauer) but I am proud to have a dynamite First Lady in Jenny Sanford. She serves as a fine example for women everywhere!

I read this book last night and I am left with a feeling of what is the REAL story. I didn't want to read so much about Mark's career. I wanted to read about Jenny.

Mark is one sick twisted freak IMHO. How could any woman marry this guy, much less defend him? I can't imagine living life under such oppression and callous disregard.

I enjoyed this book because I enjoy first person stories of how individuals deal with their unique hardships. In this situation, the author dealt with her hand in a constructive and clear-headed manner, and her way of writing was funny and engaging. I wasn't wanting or expecting some kind of philosophical how to book on how to deal with crises in general and don't know why people are criticizing the manner in which the author for example, spiritually dealt with her crisis (e.g. she wasn't spiritually deep enough). Whether she is spiritual enough or not doesn't matter to me, it is HER story and about how SHE dealt with it. While as a writer she comes across as very articulate and perceptive, watching her on television being interviewed is even more impressive. I think she is an inspiration to women, that you can face potentially devastating events in your life with dignity and poise. I hope she considers speaking to women's groups in the future.

I think it's hilarious that she wrote this. Good for her. She was married to SUCH a pathetic, spineless, egotistical, chauvinistic weenie of a man. When someone treats you like this, you owe it to yourself to get out. You owe it to your children to teach them this is not how a husband and father treats his wife. She should have gotten out earlier, but I'm sure she was trying to hold the family together. Now everyone knows what a boob this guy really was.

You've got to hand it to the Catholic Church...is there any other religion that has produced so many women with martyr complexes? And that's the only way one can view the marriage between Jenny Sanford and Mark Sanford. There were signs galore Mark Sanford was not a Southern gentleman looking for true love. The first time she went to visit his family, he just left his car at the airport for her to find the way to the family farm. When she doesn't show up on time, he leaves for a party without her. He wants her to sign a wacko pre-nup agreement. He doesn't want to say he will remain faithful in their marriage vows. Yet, she marries him. Then, when she gets pregnant, he is horrified at the thought she might have a girl and not a boy. And on and on. He's a user and a mental case. Yet, she makes excuse after excuse for his behavior, always trying to understand why he does what he does. If she had spent half that time trying to understand what she was doing in such a marriage, she might had figured it all out, long before it all came crashing down on her. But like most martyrs, she kept focused on others to not deal with herself. This led to the absolute bizarre situation where he is describing his feelings to her about being in love with his "soul mate", and demanding she give him permission to go visit her...as if she was his mother and not his wife! However, unlike a martyr, she divorces him. That was very interesting. One can only hope Jenny Sanford goes forward in her life, and isn't forever stuck in the role of "wronged wife".

I'm most surprised by Jenny's decision to marry Mark considering the selfish personality he exhibited prior to marriage. This may offer singles a little insight into settling for a mate with major red flags attached to the wedding vows. She's a remarkable lady with lots of CLASS but she obviously wore rose colored glasses when selecting, I mean settling for, a mate.