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Steel Rainbow: The Legendary Underground Guide To Becoming An '80S Rock Star Paperback – June 5, 2012

4.9 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Hilarious and insightful. It breaks down absolutely everything that’s awesome and ridiculous (and awesomely ridiculous) from the Golden Age of ‘80s Hair Metal.”
—Daniel Wallace, New York Times-bestselling author of Star Wars: The New Essential Guide to Characters

From the Back Cover

Looking back at ’80s Hair Metal, one thing is apparent—every band looked and sounded exactly the same. According to legend, this is because of a secret text written by an anonymous record label in 1984 that promised fame and fortune to anyone who followed it word-for-word. As the music scene started to change in the ’90s, this text faded into obscurity, never to be read and followed again . . .
until now. Here, in all its glory, is a replica of that original text, painstakingly rewritten word-by-word for today’s retro music hopefuls to follow.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Lyons Press (June 5, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0762780738
  • ISBN-13: 978-0762780730
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.5 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,716,907 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Before I purchased this book, I was a nobody. I would go to my dead-end job, day after monotonous day, staring at Excel spreadsheets and sipping tasteless coffee for hours on end. I was absolutely invisible to women - in fact, the only dates I went on were with my cat, Schnookums. I was basically just counting down the days until sweet, sweet death embraced me.

Then, I purchased Steel Rainbow. Upon cracking open the erotically tiger-printed cover, a heavenly chorus arose in my ears - similar to a David Lee Roth "YAAAAYAAAA" - and two spandex-clad angels descended from (rock) heaven into my living room. They adorned me in divine skin-tight jeans and a mesh t-shirt, teased my hair to epic heights, and caked my face in mascara, eye shadow and glitter. Finally, the angels performed simultaneous jumping split-kicks and a blinding white light filled the room. When I woke up, they were gone, but on my couch sat a custom pink-tiger-print Flying-V guitar.

I grabbed the guitar and exited my apartment building, but before I could walk a block, seven very attractive, scantily dressed women were hanging all over me, trying to start an orgy. Paparazzi then sprung from every alley and dumpster, and blinded me with their flashes. Suddenly, a white stretch limousine screeched to a halt beside me and the door swung open. The ladies and I dove into the limo, where a man in a suit was calmly waiting. He was a record executive, and immediately signed me to a multimillion-dollar recording contract. Nine months later, I was the world's richest, most famous rock god... and the proud father of seven illegitimate children.

Long story short.... you should buy this book. It might change your life. Or, at the very least, it will make you laugh hysterically at the ridiculousness of the '80s, and will look really cool on your coffee table.
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Format: Paperback
I can't stop reading this book, it's hilarious. Once you think this guide has covered it all, it stretches even further with over-the-top, laugh out loud humor. The book goes through every step needed to become an 80's rocker, starting with the basics and going through music videos.

The author writes the book so it can be followed if turned to any page, with a lot of visuals to enhance the guide. For each step the readers mind will instantly recall a band/band member from the 80's that matches the description, adding personal nostalgia to the book.

The chapters are as follows:
- Origin
- Introduction
- The Basics
- Style Guide
- Techniques
- The Studio
- Tour Etiquette
- Music Videos
- Coda

If you are looking for some nostalgia, or just a funny book, I highly recommend picking up this guide.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is the holy grail for anyone looking to revel in the glory and ridiculousness that was 80s hair metal. From the spot-on descriptions to every laugh-out-loud illustration, this is an ESSENTIAL coffee table book for any metal fan or child of the 80s. Easy to read, hard to put down, and endlessly entertaining, I've rarely found a book that spoke to me so directly. ...but then my homework was never quite like this.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A Must Buy! This book will make you laugh out loud as you read it and think of those pictures you have banished to a box in the back of your closet. Remember the ones of you with long teased hair, spandex, and a super low V-neck t-shirt. Once you start reading this book you will never want to put it down. It is well written and the illustrations are amazing. So embrace your inner 80's rock star, dig out those old photos and be prepared to laugh harder than you ever have.
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