Living In A Step-family Without Getting Stepped On Helping Your Children Survive The Birth Order Blender [Paperback]

Dr. Kevin Leman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 5, 2001

"When two families unite, they don't blend, they collide," says Dr. Kevin Leman, bestselling author of The New Birth Order Book. But he also believes, "You can blend a family without breaking it. The principles in this book will help you wage the battle of blending your family-and come up not only a survivor but a winner!"

By understanding the impact that birth order has on each family member, parents are better equipped to ease the transition into a new, different but functional family unit. Using his signature humor and real life examples, Dr. Leman provides both insight and practical advice about discipline, self-respect, parental authority, and the importance of the marriage relationship.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (June 5, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0785266011
• ISBN-13: 978-0785266013
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #196,740 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #37 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families

More About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including "The View" with Barbara Walters, "The Today Show," "Oprah," CBS's "The Early Show," "Live with Regis Philbin," CNN's "American Morning," and "LIFE Today" with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to "Good Morning America." He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including "The Birth Order Book" and "Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage." Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful Book for Blending Families, July 1, 2007

By 

Nicole Cook (St. Louis, MO) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Living In A Step-family Without Getting Stepped On Helping Your Children Survive The Birth Order Blender (Paperback)

I might not have a Ph.D or specialize in anything other than being the best parent I can possibly be to my two children, as well as to my significant others three children, however I can tell you, this book is an excellent read.

Although tailored to the step or blended family, any parent would find much of the information useful.

Understanding birth order can seriously change how you parent, having a more positive impact on your children involved in the blending family. The whole saying "Everyone has a place in this world", will never ring more true, until you have taken the time to read Kevin Leman's books.

I have read over 20 other books geared towards step families, step mothers, blended families and this is the book I reach for constantly. It has made the biggest impact on our family, in an extremely positive way.

I highly recommend this book or any book by Kevin Leman for any blended family.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Among the Better Books on This Topic, February 28, 2009

By 

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W. (Solana Beach, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living In A Step-family Without Getting Stepped On Helping Your Children Survive The Birth Order Blender (Paperback)

Current research continues to refute old myths: For example, the silly notion that there could be a "good divorce" which would "not affect the children much" in their development and maturity.

Modern science reveals otherwise. Study after study shows that children of divorce continue to be impacted by family trauma long after they become adults and form their own families. Trauma happens.

Kevin Leman's book is reasonably light-hearted yet means business. He gives practical, strategic help to those who experience divorce either as one of the parting partners, or as a child of same. This is not pop psychology; it is weighty and on-target advice.

This is one of the better books on this topic. For more help from a faith-based perspective, authors Ron Deal, and Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie, have books here on Amazon which are hugely helpful for stepfamilies.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
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4 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars useful, readable - and misses essential points, August 23, 2004

By 

Peter Gerlach (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Living in a Step Family Without Getting Stepped on: Helping Your Children Survive the Birth Order Blender (Hardcover)

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 66, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.

I recommend this book to readers who want (a) a light-hearted, readable introduction to stepfamily life, and (b) more awareness on how birth-order affects family relations. I do not recommend this book to anyone who wants to know the core reasons most US stepfamilies are significantly stressful, and why millions redivorce or endure daily agony. The lack of an index reduces the utility of this book as a reference.

Like most lay and clinical stepfamily authors, psychologist Leman omits explanation and advice on these essential re/marital and stepfamily stressors:

1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood (vs. divorce). Most divorced and stepfamily adults appear to be significantly wounded - and don't (want to) know it or what it means;

2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it. The author does acknowledge the relevance of healthy grief, but doesn't alert readers to blocked grief and what do about it;

3) co-parent unawareness of, and/or indifference to, (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities, norms, implications, and hazards. And Leman omits...

4) the implications of little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.

In my clinical experience, these unseen factors often promote needy, love-dazed courting co-parents to commit to the wrong people (mate, stepkids, and "other parent/s"), for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. Then the factors inhibit co-parents from identifying and resolving core personal, role, and relationship problems like these:

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For suggestions on how to pick practical remarriage, co-parenting, and stepfamily books, see this:

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