Customer Reviews

The Stepfamily Survival Guide

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3 star:		(2)
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Dear Natalie,

I wanted to share a quick note of thanks with you. I am marrying a man with two daughters (ages 7 & 9) in 6 weeks. We have been in pre-marital counseling with our pastor and I have been saturating myself in books, online info and whatever else I can get my hands on, about being part of a stepfamily. I picked up your book about two weeks ago and have been reading some each day. I feel such a huge amount of relief at the simple fact that I am not the only one experiencing this. Before looking into being a stepmom I felt such tension, pressure, at times jealousy towards his ex-wife and sometimes the girls. I felt so much but had no idea if I was justified or not & then what to do with it. Your book has given me such insight on the basics and with that I'm moving forward with much more confidance. My fiance is reading the book now and I hope he takes as much from it as I have.

We both know it is a rough road ahead of us but we want to be as spiritually & emotionally prepared as possible. Thankyou for sharing your journey, it is beneficial to a lot of people.

Pam

Gray, Maine

I picked up this book and couldn't put it down. I don't know how anyone with any type of stepfamily situation has gotten through without this survival guide. The author shares her own experiences--raising six kids as a blended family--with honesty and lots of humor. It's a must read.

While one could blame sky-high divorce rates on a multiplicity of factors, one reason is approaching a life-changing decision on the basis of impulsive, romantic feelings. In her eminently practical book, Natalie Nichols Gillespie spells out dozens of pitfalls awaiting second marriages, especially when children are involved. Then she goes further, listing numerous suggestions and corrective measures. The Stepfamily Survival Guide is packed full of common sense; I wish it would have been available before I married into a ready-made family. Likewise, this book can wave cautionary flags for people embarking on remarriage after the death of a spouse. Still, it will be most useful for parents with children who are preparing to make the courageous leap into "yours, mine and ours." And, to those who have left the cliff and are struggling to keep from crashing.

Throughout this book, Natalie Gillespie's reliance on God and prayer and total surrender of her steplife to Him is apparent and recommended. That constant reminder sustains weary stepparents and helps us gather our strength for challenging times. And while Gillespie doesn't ignore any difficulties stepparents face, this book is extremely positive in its outlook and powerful in its message: you can thrive as a stepparent, and here's help.

She sums up the theme of this book early on: "By sending his only son to live in a situation similar to our stepfamilies, I believe God showed his love for our stepfamilies. He might hate divorce, but he loves mending broken lives that are laid at his feet."

The author begins her book with the marriage - that's what creates the stepfamily and that's what must survive the toughest times. More vulnerable than stepparent/stepchild relationships, the husband/wife relationship will determine if the stepfamily lasts. Through this section and in all her chapters, Gillespie offers 'common problems to consider,' and `solution suggestions.' You won't see yourself in every scenario, but you'll be able to take her advice and apply it to the holes in your steplife.

Gillespie also includes discussion questions that focus on the future or deep internal issues we are sometimes too much in love (in the beginning) or too tired and overwhelmed (a little later) to consider. Throughout, the book is concrete help and guidance for stepparents at all levels.

Gillespie discusses the kids, including bonding, being a part-time parent and more, and building the fragile stepparent/stepchild relationship. She also tackles how to integrate the stepparent into the discipline plan for the family. The author calls for healing in relationships with former spouses and foresight and courage when legal matters intrude on your steplife.

The book concludes with a generous collection of Scriptures, organized by topics, including love, peace, kindness, anger and more. The author also includes an index of resources for stepfamilies. This book is one you'll want to add to your collection.

I'd been looking for a good book on stepparenting and the common problems associated with being a stepparent. The author does a wonderful job using her own experiences as a guide to explain stepparenting. She relates what worked and what didn't. Each chapter has a seciton for common problems and how to solve them. I was amazed at how the author's experiences mirrored my own. The book has given me perspective on my own sitution as well as good sound advice on how to go about improving my situation.

I highly recommend this book to anyone that is a stepparent, a divorced parent, or a person thinking about becoming a stepparent.

There is an excellent reference list--which I have used to find other books to read--and also a very good reference to relevant scriptures.

Though i am a full-fledged Christian and believe in the importance of God's word, there was too much filler as scripture without specific instruction on how to implement the ideas posed.

This is one of the best faith-based resources for stepfamilies that is currently in print. With this book, author Natalie Nichols Gillespie joins the ranks of first-rate stepfamily experts, including Rev. Ron Deal and Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie.

Life in a stepfamily can be messy and difficult. How do you discipline the kids, and who takes the lead in that? How do you deal with immature and/or irresponsible former partners or relatives? These and many other questions are addressed honestly and openly in this well-written book.

If you're already in a stepfamily, or praying about forming one, this book can help you think through the issues and make wise choices. Very well done!

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Happily Remarried: *Making Decisions Together *Blending Families Successfully* Building a Love That Will Last

This book, written by Natalie Nichols Gillespie, is a refreshing book for anyone trying to form their stepfamily and even those who may have been at it for some time. The book is written from a Christian perspective offering help on every issue stepfamilies face. Faith in God is the predominant theme as Mrs. Gillespie shows you how to keep a Godly perspective while working through such tough issues as making everyone fit in and feel loved, adjusting to the part-time schedule of parenting, handling former spouses, and the real biggie: discipline. Every chapter offers common problems to consider with timeless, Bible-based solutions and going one step further, Mrs. Gillespie offers a series of thought-provoking questions that get your mind thinking at the end of every chapter. This book is very easy to read, offering advice in a way that causes one to reflect on his or her own stepfamily with a Christian viewpoint. It helps you to realize that not only are others in your shoes, but that God is with you through it all. After having read this book I feel, for the first time, that my stepfamily might actually survive as Mrs. Gillispie offers such insight, forethought, and inspiration. I personally feel that this book is so vital to keeping my family's Christian values and everyday sanity intact that I will hold on to this book as a reference during low times and a reminder in the good times. I strongly recommend this book for all stepfamilies.

This book should clearly state in the subtitle that it is written from a Christian perspective. There is certainly a market for this sort of book, as one can clearly see from the other reviews which are otherwise positive, and you would think that the author would want to advertise this book to exactly that Christian market. But that isn't what happens. Instead, it's marketed to step-families in general. I'm growing weary of books where Christian authors try to "hide" their religious perspective to the prospective buyer, only to reveal it in abundance inside - they do this to appeal to a wider audience, but it isn't ethical. How would the other reviewers feel had they purchased this book only to discover it was written from a Buddhist, Mennonite or Christian Science perspective? Yes, perhaps Christianity is popular in North America, but it is by no means universal, and by no means the only "way" for a stepfamily to survive.