Customer Reviews

Stephen Lives

5 star:		(25)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(18)

 

 

I thought this was a wonderful book. I will attempt to explain why by commenting on several other comments that have been made here.

The reviewers who hated this book seem to be concentrated in two distinct camps: (1) Those that hated the book because it was dictated by a "dead" person-- and this does not conform to their personal beliefs about the afterlife and (2) Those who hated this book because the son, Stephen, seems to be having a great time in the afterlife-- and therefore it seems to them that this book actually ENDORSES suicide. I would like to comment on these two ideas.

First, there are a group of reviewers who call this book junk because a "dead" boy is speaking to his mother-- at best, the negative reviewers say that the mother is delusional with grief, at worst that she is crazy. There is no way that we can prove one way or another if this is true or not-- that is, whether a boy is actually communicating from beyond the grave. However, to dismiss the claim so peremptorily with such comments as "Stephen doesn't live anywhere except in the fanciful mind of his mother, the author" and "This is new age tripe at it's worst" is not only dismissing the author, but almost every major world religion-- Christianity, Islam and Judaism all purport a belief in life after death. I am not an expert on Islam, but there are examples in both the Old and New Testament of so-called after-death communication. So to call this book "New Age tripe" simply because the author claims to have had an experience which has been reported in holy literature for over 4000 years is simply incorrect. After-death communication is not even close to "New" Age-- in fact, it is very "Old" Age. Whether it is TRUE or not is another question altogether-- but to dismiss the claim out of hand is irresponsible, and in fact insulting to many so-called mainstream religious doctrines.

(However, it doesn't matter if you believe this or not. You can still come away the message even if you do not believe in life after death.)

Second, there are those who hated this book because it seemed to them to endorse suicide. This in my mind is the more relevant point. However, upon reading this book I did not see how this book endorsed suicide at all-- in fact, it was strongly anti-suicide, as far as I could tell. True, the son is now seemingly doing well on the other side, but in no way does this endorse suicide. In fact, in the book it is emphasized again and again that killing himself was the worst possible thing that Stephen could have done-- that by doing so, he lost out on so much, on so many opportunities. Yes, he is doing OK now, but even so he will NEVER be able to accomplish the things that he could have had he chosen to live. This is a regret and a pain that he says that he will carry for his eternity. That sounds like a little piece of hell to me-- knowing that you had a tremendous, golden opportunity, but that you rejected it permanenetly... and that now, no matter what you do, you can NEVER get that opportunity again. Sure, you might be able to do other things, but those things you rejected you will NEVER get a chance to do again. In life that is rarely the case-- you always get another chance-- but if you kill youself you've ended the game forever, no matter what the score is. Rather than encouraging me to kill myself, this message is a powerful endorsement for LIVING LIFE!

I don't KNOW if Anne Puryear actually spoke to her son or not (I BELIEVE that she did,) and it doesn't really matter if she did or not, since I do KNOW that this book does NOT encourage suicide-- in fact, it is one of the strongest endorsements AGAINST suicide and FOR LIFE that I have read-- whether you take the story as a metaphor or literally true.

That, I feel, is the most important message of the book.

If you are wondering whether or not you will love or hate this book after reading many of the very disparate opions written here, I hope to clear it up a bit...

Firstly, if you are an admamant atheist, forget it.
If you are a fundamentalist Christian, not for you.
However, if you are an openminded skeptic, much like myself, who is interested in the existence of near death experiences and other kinds of strange and unexplainable paranormal occurances, you might like the book, or at least be interested.

If you have just suffered a loss of a loved one very recently (say, within 6 - 12 months) perhaps this book might be a little much to take all in one gulp, if you don't agree with the beliefs. I myself do agree with many of the beliefs and that's why I gave this book such a high rating. Some of the beliefs in the book are: 1. Life after death exists. Communication with souls who have crossed over is possible. 2. Suicide is not an option for young people because it causes so much pain for those left behind. (However, for older people with chronic fatal illnesses it is different)

I think that a lot of the reason that people did not like this book is because they may have focused more on the suicide notes that Stephen left behind, and not the tormented words of his mother. These notes are sad, yes, but in Stephen's twisted way, he tried to make light of the situation and made lots of jokes and thought everything would be better once he died. The notes are truly sad and I think we should try to remember how naive he was at 15 years of age. I lost one of my best friends to suicide, and I am sure that she thought she would be better off "over there" because she was in so much mental anguish. Stephen's notes do not belie the immense pain he must have felt, probably because even in his death he was trying to uplift the people around him and help them get over grieving for him. He had a personality that seeked to please others, and the jokes and pronouncements about how he'll be so much better off dead and on the other side are a sad lie to himself. Or maybe he really did not know how much his family would suffer. I myself did not forsee how horrifying suicide could be. I thought that if anyone around me ever did that, it would be like griveing a normal death. How wrong I was.

I can understand why people would react so strongly to this book. Most of the people, from what I can tell from their posting, have lost someone to suicide. This type of death causes so much pain in those left behind that many people actually suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some people are looking for someone to blame for Stephen's death, as much as they are looking to blame someone for the death of their own loved one. In this case, it is the author, Anne, who gets blamed. Many grievers also feel unmitigated anger, towards everything and anything. This is a normal part of grief. These people need to express their anger in a healthy way. That's why I wouldn't reccomend this book for someone who is in the "raw" part of their grief. If they don't agree with the ideas in the book it will just piss them off more than they already are.

I thank Anne for being brave enough to publish such a controversial book. It has helped me, as much as it has inflammed others. (from the ratings of the postings, the ratio seems to be about half and half) I personally do not believe a suicidal teenager would take their life after reading this book. The aftermath of suicide is clearly stated (perhaps many of the negative reviewers did not read the book through to the end, which is unfortunate, as they may have come away with a different perspective. The consequences of suicide on the other side is to see the incredible pain that the person who killed themselves has caused. And to experience that there is no way for them to take away this gigantic and final and terrible mistake. Stephen many times says that he wishes he could change what happened, that what he believed before he did it (see above, his suicide notes) was absolutely completely crazy. The book very explicitly states that suicide is not an option. It would be interesting to hear from a teenager who has read the book, and whether or not it helped them see this.

It is true however, that some people will want to do it and find cause to end their lives no matter what. They will try to find "answers" and reasons, as if looking for someone else to guide their own hand. With that said, any kind of material, be it a book, a song, or the words of a loved one, that can be twisted into some sick kind of urging to end their lives. That is their own fault, not the fault of someone like Anne, someone who wrote the sad lyrics to a song, or even your fault, if you feel that you may have pushed your loved one to suicide. You didn't. It was their desicion, alone.

I actually bought this book twice. The first time I read it I gave my copy to a mother who lost her child though suicide who my son had the unfortunate circumstance to have found this child dead. This book was highly recommended by the voice of God in Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh. This is why I bought it. I purchased a second copy to read again. I only am writing this review after reading all the negative reviews on this book. I can only imagine that this book could bring comfort to any parent who has lost a child. If you believe in the afterlife, then this book will offer great comfort. I know for a fact that loved ones return after they die. It has happened too many times in my own life to be just a coincidence. I really feel sorry for people who have so much negativity in their lives and can't see or don't want to see the light. This book is not for everyone. That much is obvious a lot of the reviews that I have read. Kudos to Anne Puryear for having the courage to write it.

I have also lost a child, an 11-year old, to suicide, and reading books like this are the only things that really help. I know my son also contacts me, and Steven's story confirms that. The negative reviews must have come from people who have not lost children to suicide; therefore, they have no idea what they are talking about. A book like this really hits home. If there is a book out there on this subject, I own it, and this books helps. There is nothing positive about suicide in this book, in fact, I WOULD give it to someone who was thinking about suicide, as reading this book might make a change for the better.

This was by far, one of the most emotionally heart tugging books I have ever read. To all of the reviews trashing this book, I am absolutely flabbergasted. Did we read the same book? The author is not self congragulatory. The book does not promote suicide, or make it seem like NO BIG DEAL! It is a very moving and soul baring account of a Mother & Son's dual regrets, a family's torment and a lesson to be learned for all. That suicide is NEVER the answer! Never, ever in a million years will you convince me that this woman is delusional, or worse...profiting off of her son's tragic death. I can empathize with the personal pain of readers who might have endured what Anne Puryear's family did, and wonder why they cannot find the same answers from someone they have lost, but none of us live the same story. Ask yourself what kind of Mother could shamelessly prey on the emotions of her family, and the memory of her deceased son by fabricating such a heartbreaking book. It's NOT Anne Puryear imo. I, myself have been to the brink of such an irreversible act, and I thank Anne for spreading the message that suicide is the ultimate soul destroyer. That although the soul may live on, the regrets and repercussions are equally eternal.

Who's got the button? It seems that the reviewers' buttons are very touchy. I know Anne and when she talked about this book before it was published and the hope it would give others, her face shone. She wanted to tell the story of Stephen's existence and his death was a part of it. In the book, she discusses her pain. It is like standing still while acid is poured into open cuts. It described the unendurable continuous unvoiceable scream that wracks your soul. She gives parents a point at which they can connect with her feelings and once there, hold her hand as she comes through it. When you read this look for the joy. Peace be with you.

This book has nothing new to offer, it gives all the standard arguments against suicide, as well as recycles stuff from other new age books that've come out in the last 20-30 years. And like the other books, it's long on theory and short on application.

My childhood was worse than Stephen's, and now I'm a troubled adult, so I read this from more than just casual interest.

Aside from platitudes, whatever little else this book does offer, I've tried it all before and it doesn't work for me.

Assuming Ann really did talk to her son Stephen, what he has to say to prevent suicide is superficial and silly (ie. he advises eating fruits and vegetables and avoiding processed foods, seek counseling, change your negative thinking, and oh by the way, God loves you and life's a gift, etc, etc).

The only twist is it comes from someone who "killed" himself.

In fact, so much of what he says is debatable or downright inconsistent:

1. He says that our spirit guides try to teach us, and we are free to reject/accept what they say. On his own death, he said his angels tried to convince him to do otherwise. However, at the same token, Stephen says that if SOMEONE had ONLY intervened at this stage in his life, he wouldn't have committed suicide. So, which is it Stephen?

Just before he hung himself, he even prayed to know whether he should do it. No one appeared out of the blue to stop him, so off he went. From his own account of himself, it doesn't seem like his guides or God did much "reaching out", nor did they bother to send someone to stop him. In his own words, God won't stop you from doing foolish things or help you see straight. Some divine guidance.

2. Stephen says that our loved ones on the other side are desperately trying to reach out to us, the living, but that we are simply nonreceptive. Obviously, he's never heard of the tons of psychics making a mint off of people who go to them by the millions in an effort to contact departed loved ones. Contacting the other side really is a multi billion dollar industry Stephen, so I don't know where you get your information.

Rather, the bereaved often get taken advantage of by scam artists. So contrary to Stephen, it seems to me the dead don't try hard enough to contact the living, IF they're indeed trying at all. Even Ann had gone to one psychic after another to contact Stephen, only to be disappointed. I tried the same with my mother after she died.

3. Stephen says that before we come into this world, we choose our circumstances in order to help us learn lessons and achieve our objectives. I've heard this before.

Yet, towards the end of the book, when he comments about very young children dying, he says that one of the reasons they may choose to go is because they realize they simply won't be able to achieve their objective in this life because of circumstances beyond their control. Say WHAT?!

If they "choose" their life before coming into this world, why did they "choose" circumstances that would make it impossible for them to achieve their goals? And once in this world, do an almost immediate "about face"? Seems like a big waste of time to me. Doesn't make much sense. But it does leave open the possibility that life CAN be impossible and suicide is okay. Think about it.

4. I also got contradictory impressions about life on the other side for a suicide victim. On the one hand, Stephen seems to say it's not too bad. You can create whatever illusion or life you want to create, be whatever "age" you want to appear while loved ones and guides help you heal. That sounds pretty good. There is no purgatory.
On the OTHER hand, he says there's no escaping the pain on the other side. It's much worse than when you were living. You really want to kill yourself then, but you can't "end" your life anymore because you don't have one. So, what is the afterlife really like for a suicide victim? Beats me.

Stephen has pretty high aspirations for this book he's communicated to his mother from the other side; how it'll serve as a bridge between the dead and the living; "a new age of hope and understanding", as he puts it.

But the ONLY thing he has to offer are a bunch of words, and not particularly enlightening ones at that, like the examples I already gave, and he contradicts himself.

Heck, he even admits he doesn't know why he shoplifted in this life. Not very enlightened to me.

Proponents of new age and traditional religion both "claim" to impart spiritual insight, yet, even God must surely, surely realize by now that if mere words on a printed page were enough to change the world, then we'd already have heaven on earth, and there wouldn't be need for such books anymore.

Fact is, words are a POOR transmitter of true awareness, which is what's really needed for true change. That's why books on enlightenment (ie. Bible, etc.) fail in their purpose for the vast majority.

They are often the most INeffective means of communication because people often can't connect to what the words mean. Even Ann, who "experienced" Stephen firsthand, was racked with doubts; always needing ongoing proof in the form of signs and miracles that her communication with Stephen was genuine. Heck, he even got her a brand new PIANO as proof.

Now THAT is some gift from a deceased loved one! Wish I had someone like that on the other side!

What then can realistically be expected for those who only read this stuff secondhand, bereft of any such signs and miracles, and who've never experienced communication with their dead? And Stephen's not encouraging about the condition of the suicide victim on the other side.

Stephen also seems to be rather pat, saying that the dead, our spirit guides, and angels, are always "instructing" us, yet he himself admitted that when he was in this life, he was so confused by his own pain, abuse from those around him, and all the other static, that it only added to his burden and he couldn't "hear" through the noise. Seems to me that he of all people should have more compassion for how we the living are messed up by this world.

He ADMITS life's problems can be quite overwhelming. That is the sad fact.

This is ONE thing he got right, the extreme pain someone contemplating suicide goes thru. I know how that feels.

If the people having such supernatural encounters are themselves skeptical of what they're hearing, what can really be expected of the rest of us who're daily beseiged by millions of contradictory thoughts going thru our heads, to sit and sort out which ones are from our "spirit guides", and which are just plain nonsense?

Stephen also says that we are instructed in our dreams and there we commune with the departed. I haven't gotten much from my dreams, nor from meditating.

Above all, what I love about new age and traditional religion is that "God or someone" from the other side singles out that ONE privileged individual to receive some extraordinary and supernatural encounter, and then THAT person is told to put it in writing for the "rest of us" ignorant masses. How generous.

Reading books like this make me think God isn't very smart, caring, or wise in choosing the manner of his communication or in what he has to say, if indeed he's behind it all.

Once he crossed over, Stephen conveniently "forgot" about how totally confusing and painful life can be to those who are living, and that simple "words" of instruction are often not enough to truly "enlighten" and change a person.

They certainly did NOT "enlighten" him when he was here, or stop him from killing himself. He mentions throughout the book the overwhelming pain he felt in this life.

At the very end of his narrative, he just glosses over those who are truly lost, abused, and have absolutely no one to turn to. Stephen simply offers the cliché that God "loves" them very much, and to get help. Suicide is wrong. This life is a "gift" from God, and we must find a way to love ourselves.

These cliches are supposed to ease the suffering?? Come on!

The interesting thing is, Stephen says you are NOT judged on the other side. So why does HE make a value judgment against suicide? Another inconsistency.

One more point I'd like to make, if we "select" out conditions before we arrive on earth, then we must know ahead of time that suicide just MIGHT be a possibility for some of us, just like getting cancer or anything else. So, in Stephen's case, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to him when he crossed over to the other side. Yet, he seemed completely baffled by it once he died.

Anyway, I found all this "advice" to be quite patronizing and very airy fairy, and not useful to someone with deep personal problems like me. There is really no "wisdom" in this book, and preaching is the last thing I need.

He says the guides, angels, and God himself are always available if we only ask them. Well, HE asked and didn't receive any help in all of the 14 years he was here. I haven't either.

The most hilarious thing he says is that God created us to succeed, not fail. If so, then why does this world have such an incredible failure rate?

That is, if you accept this book on its face value, that it is a genuine communication from the other side, and not simply Ann voicing commonly held opinions against suicide in the guise of her dead son. Or it may be a complete fabrication. Whatever to sell a book.

Regardless, Stephen's "advice" is so much nonsense, and what's worse, it's all negated by the very example of his OWN FAILED LIFE. If anything, Stephen's suicide shows God doesn't care.

I'm like Ann in this regard, give me a sign that what I'm hearing is true, don't simply "tell" me and leave it at that, because I read and hear a LOT of things that don't work. I need something BEYOND words, just like she did. There's too much hype and advertising in this world.

I don't make light of her grief, but I can't say much for this communication. It may be temporary comfort to some who haven't heard all this before or one reading casually, but it's pretty lame.

Ann really should have "channeled" some better advice than this hokum.

If preaching and platitudes are all the other side has to offer by way of help in troubled times, no wonder the world's in the sorry state it's in, and people of all ages continue to commit suicide by the millions. So much for the "new age of hope and understanding" bs.

Bottomline, the impression I'm left with is you're d****d if you kill yourself, d****d if you don't. There is no real escape from the pain you feel, if you can't resolve it somehow. No miracle, nothing. Like Stephen in this life, you're ON YOUR OWN.

Now THAT is REALLY depressing for someone contemplating suicide, AND for someone who's lost a loved one to suicide, that the departed have not found real peace on the other side either, should really add to the guilt.

Of course, the author(s) says it's not the book's fault if someone commits suicide after reading it. Hmph! No comment.

Thanks a lot Stephen (Ann).

In my work - I research and write about how we plan our lives before we're born - I am often asked by people to comment on suicide. Now I will simply refer them to this magnificent book. This book has the power to heal the hearts of those whose lives have been touched by suicide - and it may very well prevent some people from taking their own lives. Thank you Anne Puryear for having the courage to write this book!
-Robert Schwartz, author of Courageous Souls: Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth?

Anne's book is a remarkable account of her sons life and afterlife, and contrary to the negative review given, does NOT paint a "rosy picture" of the afterlife. I am a young adult who was very depressed and had strong suicidal feelings. This book helped me to see what suicide does to those left behind, and how hard it is for the soul to recover after such a traumatic event. It made me see that suicide is not the way. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who thinks early death is better than life...it will help you see it really isn't.

This book is a blessing and a life saver....

Whether completely true or imagined (I personally believe Anne) Many passages are inspiring and healing, over all, this book is compelling. "Stephen Lives" is a must have!!! and is a treasured member of my library. To appreciate this book, it would be advised that one not read and scrutinize logically - But read unconditionally... and let your heart find its own truth. This book is born from the realms of the *metaphysical, which does not follow rules of the physical world and defy logical thinking.

*Metaphysical | 'met''fizik'l| adjective 1 of or relating to metaphysics : the essentially metaphysical question of the nature of the mind. * based on abstract (typically, excessively abstract) reasoning : an empiricist rather than a metaphysical view of law. * transcending physical matter or the laws of nature : Good and Evil are inextricably linked in a metaphysical battle across space and time. 2 of or characteristic of the metaphysical poets.