Customer Reviews

Stepliving for Teens: Getting Along with Stepparents, Parents, and Siblings (Plugged In)

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As a an author and mediator that works with stepfamilies, I do not come across books about which I say, "I wish I had written that", but Stepliving for Teens is one of those books. It's written for older adolecents and younger teens, and tackles some of the BIG subjects that really concern kids living in stepfamilies. I highly recommend this book to older kids, younger teens, and their parents and I thank the authors for writing it.

My husband and I bought this book in hopes of helping his teenaged sons cope better with our new "combined family." The majority of the book is fantastic... it presents some very legitimate concerns that are likely on the minds of many teens, as well as many suggestions of good ways to deal with those issues. I think the book could make many teens feel less "misunderstood," and realize that their feelings are normal, and that there are many effective ways they can deal with the ups and downs.

However, at the end of each section, there is a segment called "What if it still doesn't work?" (As in, what if I've tried all of these things to no avail?) This is where we have the problem... there are several of these segment endings that suggest the teen do things such as stay in their room most of the time and focus on planning for when they're old enough to move out, or to get the help of others to arrange for changes in custody, etc.

While I agree that there are certainly situations in which such measures would be appropriate (such as changing custody due to physical or mental abuse), we do not think it's appropriate to suggest teens take such steps over things like siblings borrowing their things without asking, arguing with their step parent, etc.

Overall, it was a good book for us adults to get a closer view of how the kids may feel, but we are still undecided as to whether or not to give it to the kids to read because we feel these few "segment endings" are inappropriate. It's a shame, because the majority of the book is fantastic. Fortunately, our kids are not having any huge problems, so if we decide not to pass it on it will still be okay. But still a shame because it could have been a fantastic resource for them.

Overall, I would suggest reading it yourself first and then deciding whether to pass it on to the kids.

I run a website for stepfamilies and am always reading and recommending books to them. After having read this one, I knew it would be perfect for stepchildren. The book focuses on real questions & problems from actual children and answers from two psychologists who work with families. A wonderful book for any child who finds his/herself in the midst of a new family. What I liked most about this book was that it dealt with topics other books for kids haven't touched, including crushes on stepsiblings. One of my favorite parts of the book was the "fill in the name" letter stepchildren can give to a stepparent when kids feel they're being pushed into having a relationship with the new parent. As a stepmom, the book gave me insight into issues my stepson may have now and in the future and has better prepared me for whatever lies ahead! I recommend it to every stepfamily.

This book would be a bargain at 10 times the price. Because it is presented as teens sharing their experiences and advice with other teens, it has instant credibility with kids. Meanwhile, the advice is excellent, as it comes through the filter of an extremely insightful therapist who puts the kids' happiness first. My 12 year-old stepson has been rejecting me for the past 3 years because of pressure from his mother, but when my husband gave him this book, he actually started reading it! My stepson is now beginning to stand up for his right to be kept out of the middle and we are so happy to see him feeling less conflicted. This book has given him tools to deal effectively with any unreasonable adults in his life. . . even if those adults happen to be us!

I would highly recommend this book for teens (and pre-teens) as well as parents in stepfamilies, or those people in the process of forming stepfamilies. The format of "Stepliving" makes it particularly accessible for young readers. The authors approach this difficult subject with an honesty and integrity that is rare in self-help books. The book is realistic, helpful and full of useful tips and real-life experiences teens will easily relate to. The experience of being a teen AND being in a new stepfamily can be a tremendous challenge. This book will both reassure the reader that their responses are normal and assist them in taking responsiblity for making change and accepting what can't be changed about their stepfamily.

This book was brilliant for our kids and step kids (aged 11 and 14). I dealt with so many ordinary dilemas and helped both them and us see that what they feel is normal.

I would highly recommend this book for teens (and pre-teens) and parents in stepfamilies, or those in the process of forming stepfamilies. The format of "Stepliving" makes it accessible for young readers. The authors approach the subject with an honesty and integrity that is rare in self-help books. It is realistic, helpful and full of useful tips and real-life, easy-to-relate to experiences. The experience of being a teen AND being in a new stepfamily is a challenge. This book will both reassure and assist teenagers in taking responsiblity for change and acceptance of their situation.

Looking at the other reviews, I seem to be the only one that was disappointed with this book. The content is too babyish in most of it for older tweens and the more "grown up" content would be over a younger tween's head. I had a quick read through and with every paged turned, I thought duh. I'll be looking around for another book shortly.