28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not entirely impressive..., February 16, 2005
This review is from: The Stepmom's Guide to Simplifying Your LIfe (Paperback)
First I want to start by saying that the book is probably geared better for a woman who already has at least one biological child of her own, coming into a relationship where her partner's biological child/children are being added to the picture. Also that in the relationship, the step children or the step-parenting experience is from the custodial perspective.
I would also like to add that while my review isn't a sparkling one, this book would seem to work for someone who is brand new to a relationship where the partner has kids and you want to know about things to consider before the relationship gets serious. If you are that person this book will only scratch the surface of what you are getting into, and in no way is any of this even the half of it, no matter how non-confrontational the dynamic of you/husband/stepkids/biological mother may be.
For myself, as someone who is already in a serious relationship trying to smooth out a lot of wrinkles with this situation, the book didn't fit what I was looking for. And really the book didn't provide any new information to me that I hadn't already considered.
Onward with the review:
The book's contents were motivational and coming from the perspetive to think positively, but the concepts and ideas were very cliche. I wasn't expecting anything profound since the reviews here on this book were mixed. There wasn't much that really jumped out at me as far as what to do differently to make improvements.
Many of the topics I would have liked to see were missed. Making life simpler for handling BM issues, visitation/non custodial things, are critical points that were not included in this book, and many stepmothers could use support with this.
Much of the content is a no-brainer for any adult, let alone adults dealing with stepparenting issues.
I was nearly offended at the suggestions of how handle discipline with children. The concepts that were presented were so incredibly simple, anyone WITHOUT kids would know to do these things. --Well at least I would hope! So the advice about how to handle particular situations in regards to discipline was of no service.
-Respect is paramount between all adults and children.
-Both parents can expect obedience from every child regardless of biology.
Each of these and many more concepts are summarized in a short paragraph (three sentences?) about what those things mean. They weren't presented as reminders or refreshers, in my opinion, but with the heir of assumption that most people don't already know these things or don't already have these ideas in place.
There are a few questions listed in the book to ask yourself to get grounded on and gain some clarity from;
-List the 5 biggest complications in my life.
-List 3 expectations for my step family.
Listing these things out is helpful, so I give the author credit for writing from a solution oriented-standpoint and wanting to help stepmothers keep their chins up.
But really, unless you're just really at a low point and could use some motivation, just save your money and write out a list of your griefs and ways to be solution oriented about them. The book was far too simplistic for advising on how to deal with a very complex set of dynamics.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
if your THAT naive, read this book, June 12, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Stepmom's Guide to Simplifying Your LIfe (Paperback)
I was in real need of some guidance and this book was rated high in a local parenting mag so I picked it up looking forward to reading someone's expert advice. But instead I felt like I was listening to a cheerleader give me advice. Enough already with the exclamation points. I get the basic premise. What I was hoping for was something more substantial backed up with facts and studies. If you have little emotional intelligence you will probably get something out of this book... i have an iota more than a little and found this book ridiculously simplistic.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
When the honeymoon is over..., January 18, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: The Stepmom's Guide to Simplifying Your LIfe (Paperback)
and reality hits you like a slap in the face, buy this book! You will learn essential tips from real stepmothers who share true stories about their relationships. Learn the best ways to handle challenges with in-laws, ex-wives, your husband and his kids, all the while maintaining your sanity!
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