Customer Reviews

The Stepmom's Guide to Simplifying Your LIfe

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

First I want to start by saying that the book is probably geared better for a woman who already has at least one biological child of her own, coming into a relationship where her partner's biological child/children are being added to the picture. Also that in the relationship, the step children or the step-parenting experience is from the custodial perspective.

I would also like to add that while my review isn't a sparkling one, this book would seem to work for someone who is brand new to a relationship where the partner has kids and you want to know about things to consider before the relationship gets serious. If you are that person this book will only scratch the surface of what you are getting into, and in no way is any of this even the half of it, no matter how non-confrontational the dynamic of you/husband/stepkids/biological mother may be.

For myself, as someone who is already in a serious relationship trying to smooth out a lot of wrinkles with this situation, the book didn't fit what I was looking for. And really the book didn't provide any new information to me that I hadn't already considered.

Onward with the review:

The book's contents were motivational and coming from the perspetive to think positively, but the concepts and ideas were very cliche. I wasn't expecting anything profound since the reviews here on this book were mixed. There wasn't much that really jumped out at me as far as what to do differently to make improvements.

Many of the topics I would have liked to see were missed. Making life simpler for handling BM issues, visitation/non custodial things, are critical points that were not included in this book, and many stepmothers could use support with this.

Much of the content is a no-brainer for any adult, let alone adults dealing with stepparenting issues.

I was nearly offended at the suggestions of how handle discipline with children. The concepts that were presented were so incredibly simple, anyone WITHOUT kids would know to do these things. --Well at least I would hope! So the advice about how to handle particular situations in regards to discipline was of no service.

-Respect is paramount between all adults and children.
-Both parents can expect obedience from every child regardless of biology.

Each of these and many more concepts are summarized in a short paragraph (three sentences?) about what those things mean. They weren't presented as reminders or refreshers, in my opinion, but with the heir of assumption that most people don't already know these things or don't already have these ideas in place.

There are a few questions listed in the book to ask yourself to get grounded on and gain some clarity from;

-List the 5 biggest complications in my life.
-List 3 expectations for my step family.

Listing these things out is helpful, so I give the author credit for writing from a solution oriented-standpoint and wanting to help stepmothers keep their chins up.

But really, unless you're just really at a low point and could use some motivation, just save your money and write out a list of your griefs and ways to be solution oriented about them. The book was far too simplistic for advising on how to deal with a very complex set of dynamics.

I was in real need of some guidance and this book was rated high in a local parenting mag so I picked it up looking forward to reading someone's expert advice. But instead I felt like I was listening to a cheerleader give me advice. Enough already with the exclamation points. I get the basic premise. What I was hoping for was something more substantial backed up with facts and studies. If you have little emotional intelligence you will probably get something out of this book... i have an iota more than a little and found this book ridiculously simplistic.

and reality hits you like a slap in the face, buy this book! You will learn essential tips from real stepmothers who share true stories about their relationships. Learn the best ways to handle challenges with in-laws, ex-wives, your husband and his kids, all the while maintaining your sanity!

This is one of the most useful self-help books I've encountered. Along with Stepmotherhood, by Claire Burns, it helped me to refocus my energy from the undifferentiated desires for things I could not change (e.g., I wish my stepchildren were more independent), to specific items that I could (an adult living in my house cannot leave empty food dishes on my bed). Sounds self-evident, but it helps to hear it from a neutral source.

I bought this book just before marrying a man with four children from his first marriage. I expected solid examples of stepmoms overcoming obstacles and sharing their wisdom. However, I found the book very frustrating: 1)the testimonials all came from women who were dissatisfied with their relationships, neglecting those who developed strong bonds with stepchildren; 2)the advice is all too vague to be applied. Chapters titled, "Simplify Expectations" and "Simplify Relationships" are filled with generalizations that are about as effective as telling an over-stressed mom to "just relax". Overall, a disappointing read.

To say stepparenting is a challenge is an understatement. I know. I made lots of mistakes that reading this book would have corrected. It's the most complete compendium of thoughts and ideas on this subject that I know. Highly recommended.

Karon Philips Goodman's The Stepmom's Guide To Simplifying Your Life is a straightforward and "reader friendly" guide for stepmothers on how to better achieve balance and a stable family life through simplicity. From giving up unrealistic expectations (such as "I'll know how to be a good stepmom because I already am a good mom"); to setting reasonable and attainable goals; to the importance of good communication; to balancing one's authority as a stepmom; and much more, The Stepmom's Guide To Simplifying Your Life offers a wealth of dependable advice, illustrative anecdotes, and accessibly practical guidelines for stepmothers everywhere.

As a stepmom, it's a treacherous road we travel. So many false expectations that set us up for failure at every turn. Karon Goodman's book about simplifying is more than I hoped for! Her advice is written in a style that's very easy to read and sometimes with a pinch of humor, just when needed. There are Tales from the Blender -- short stories from other stepfamilies that tell about successes they've had which give ideas for mine. Her book is a breath of fresh air for those caught up in the down side of being a stepmom. Highly recommended!

If I could give SIX stars, I would!

Karon Phillips Goodman writes from the heart and mind directly to stepmoms everywhere in this comforting and logical walk through finding one's sanity in the din of blending a family! Rich with examples, worksheets and humorous outtakes from her own life, Karon's words teach us that simplification is a DECISION. Don't look for a 'big book of answers' here... better yet... look for a "Big Book of Finding the Answers for YOU!"

As always, Karon fires away at the myths we often harbour in her own accessible, human style - a 'must read' for every stepmom or stepmom-to-be!

I really liked this book because it addresses the stepmom as more than a parent. This book addresses the stepmom as an individual with an obvious need to keep from becoming lost in "step land" - which we all too often do! It's a feel good book that encourages and inspires the stepmom from the heart and soul. It helps the stepmom to get down to the brass tacks of stepmotherhood and encourages her to keep life simple with practical and realistic advice.