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Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, Revised Edition Paperback – September 25, 2001


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Frequently Bought Together

Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, Revised Edition + Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do + The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace
Price for all three: $38.75

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; Revised edition (September 25, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609807447
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609807446
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.4 x 7.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #425,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The role of stepmother has long been maligned--just think of Cinderella's or Snow White's stepmothers. Since 1985 when Cheri Burns published this funny, helpful book, stepmothers have felt relieved and no longer so alone. Burns, a stepmother herself, wrote the book to help fellow travelers understand the dynamics and conflicts of their role and navigate the stormy waters of "Expectations," "Guilt," "The Wicked Ex-Wife," "Discipline," "Vacations," and more. Stepmotherhood remains a vital guide for any woman who is either contemplating stepmotherhood or who is already there. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Burns's aim is to ``reexamine and to shed new light on stepmothering and its modern dimensions.'' She bases her book on interviews with ``more than forty stepmothers'' and desires to assist the stepmother reader in putting ``herself and her experience into focus by understanding stepmothering's peculiar chemistry and inherent obstacles.'' Such topics as visits, holidays, family gatherings, financial obligations, and problem stepchildren are covered. Commonsense advice, informal tone, and touching anecdotes will make the book popular with its intended audience. For public libraries. Susan McBride, Northeast Texas Comm. Coll. LRC, Mt. Pleasant
Copyright 1985 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Cherie Burns is author of the first comprehensive biography of Standard Oil heiress and fashion icon Millicent Rogers. Searching for Beauty-The Life of Millicent Rogers was published by St. Martin's Press on September 13, 2011. It is now also available from St Martin's Griffin softcover under the slightly amended title, Searching for Beauty--The Life of Millicent Rogers, the American Heiress Who Taught the World About Style.
The author's previous book, The Great Hurricane: 1938, was published by Grove/Atlantic (2005) in soft and hardcover. Jonathan Yardley of The Washington Post wrote: "Her own very good book is sure to help keep the terrible storm in its proper place in New England's memory..", and Liz Smith wrote in her column in The Daily News that the book was "A must if you care about brilliant reporting..." "Before there was the Perfect Storm, there was the Great Hurricane of 1938. Cherie Burns's new book is not only a riveting and wonderfully written account of one of the worst storms of the century, it is a marvelous portrait of an era and a region. A must for all New Englanders and lovers of the sea," said National Book Award winner Nathaniel Philbrick, author of In the Heart of the Sea and Sea of Glory.
Burns's first book, Stepmotherhood--How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out or Wicked (Times Books) has been reprinted by HarperCollins and Three Rivers and has sold over 40,000 copies in the U.S., England and Germany. It has remained in print for 20 years. Ms. Burns' work has also appeared in The New York Times Magazine, People, Glamour, New York, Sports Illustrated, The Wall Street Journal and other publications. She currently lives in Taos, New Mexico. See more about the author and the above titles at www.cherieburns.com.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

129 of 133 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on December 2, 1999
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I'm going to be moving in with my boyfriend and his young son in a few weeks, and I ordered "Stepmotherhood" and "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role" to give me a little preparation for what I should expect. I found that "The Enlightened Stepmother..." gave a much more thorough discussion on the difficulties of stepparenting as well as giving creative and helpful tips on getting through the hard times, whereas this book emphasized the negative aspects of the situation you might be facing. "Stepmotherhood" gave very few suggestions of how to deal with individual problems that might come up, and didn't seem to have been researched half as thoroughly as "The Enlightened Stepmother..." whose authors interviewed hundreds of stepmothers from all walks of life for help with their material, in addition to being stepmothers themselves. If you're looking for one book to both support you in the hard times and give you directions to the good times, I'd thoroughly recommend "The Enlightened Stepmother: Revolutionizing the Role," but I'm going to return this book.
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49 of 50 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 24, 2000
Format: Paperback
I read this 'self-help' book as something of a last resort. I am a stepmother of two young boys on an every other weekend basis and have been finding it unbelievably hard. The most helpful thing about this book is that it really is down to earth and honest - and refreshingly un-p.c. It explained a lot of the feelings I have been experiencing over the last year or so and by making me realise that I am not alone, and that my feelings, however negative or ugly, are 'normal' in that they are experienced by lots and lots of other women in my position, helped me immeasurably. A previous reviewer commented that it was too negative, but I think that it depends what stage you are at and how hard you are finding everything. I read another book straight afterwards which, while also helpful, was too upbeat for me, had too much emphasis on the children and on how I should be behaving, which only adds to the sense of guilt and failure that I have. 'Stepmotherhood' really uplifted me and made me feel a lot better about myself - now perhaps I can build on that and be ready for the do-gooders in a little while. I have persuaded my partner to read it too! Thankyou Cherie!
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41 of 43 people found the following review helpful By L. Shannon on January 8, 2005
Format: Paperback
I bought this book at the same time as Sue Thoele's The Courage to be a Stepmom, and I would recommend Sue Thoele's book over this one by a long shot. While both books are honest and straightforward, "Stepmotherhood" falls into a pattern of listing horrible stepfamily situations (I mean, are ALL ex-wives really screaming lunatics? That hasn't been my experience), then revealing that a combination of realistic expectations and open communications can help address the situation. While this is true and undoubtedly useful to know, that's about as far as this book goes. A better subtitle for the book might be: "Stepmotherhood: Worst-Case Scenarios Galore". In contrast, Sue Thoele takes the need for open communication and low expectations as her starting point, then delves deeply into HOW to accomplish these difficult tasks, with a great deal of emotional realism and insight. I found myself turning to my partner and discussing points Sue Thoele had brought up on almost every other page, discussions that helped the two of us establish exactly the open communications that both authors recommend. Burns' book didn't inspire any such discussions between us. It all depends on what you're after, but if you want a real-world toolkit for how to swim in the waters of stepmotherhood without getting devoured by entirely avoidable sharks, I recommend popping Sue Thoele's name into your Amazon search engine.
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful By Maryon Ravenwood on February 11, 2003
Format: Paperback
As a woman who is in a serious relationship with a man with a 3-year-old child, this book was good for me to read. Though we're not married yet, this book still offered me helpful advice--just substitute the word "relationship" for "marriage", and "girlfriend/boyfriend/partner" for "wife/husband." It's relieving to know that I'm not the only woman who has the feelings I do about being involved with a man who has a child. The book offered many useful tips for dealing with the situation. One thing that I would have liked more of, though, was advice for women who have a true aversion to children (such as myself), so much so to the point of being extraordinarily uncomfortable when they are present. I would also have liked more advice on how to deal with the fact that your mate's children are the product of his union with another woman, as well as advice for women who do not plan to have children of their own. All in all, though, a helpful book that gave me good suggestions on strategies to deal with situations that arise in a relationship with a man with a child, and I feel better knowing that I'm not the only woman with the feelings I face--in fact, it's quite normal.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 26, 2003
Format: Paperback
Yes, this book may come across as negative, but it is realistic. Being a stepmom is tough and tougher still when you go into it with rose colored glasses and the belief that it will all be wonderful. It isn't. Cherie is honest in her assessment of the stepmom experience for most women who find themselves inheriting children who view them as the sole reason their parents aren't getting back together-- Even when their mother has been remarried for years and their parents were never happy. This book helped me focus on the positives of my life as a stepmom by working through the negative. While there were things I could not relate to (my skids were teens when I became their father's wife), the advice is clear, realistic and above all else honest.
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