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Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Life Paperback – June 1, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 448 pages
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; paperback / softback edition (June 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0761156704
  • ISBN-13: 978-0761156703
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 7.5 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.9 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #581,975 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

How do you come out to your kid? When two men get married, who buys the engagement ring? ... Petrow dives into all these questions with thoughtful, measured advice. ...Ms. Post would approve.
Entertainment Weekly


How do you come out to your kid? When two men get married, who buys the engagement ring? ...  Petrow dives into all these questions with thoughtful, measured advice. ...Ms. Post would approve. —Entertainment Weekly


Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world.” —People


“Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers—author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority.” —Time


“What could’ve easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow.” —The Advocate

Review

A great read and an indispensable reference. ...Advice on sex, weddings and parenting, how much to reveal on Facebook and résumés, why it’s harmful to say ‘that’s so gay’—Steven Petrow has written a remarkably comprehensive guide to the complexities of modern LGBT life.
—Ted Allen, host of Food Network’s Chopped
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

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Petrow intends for the book to be a resource when individuals have those uncommon questions.
Dr. Wilson Trivino
Petrow's writing style makes the reading easy and gets his point across with situational explanations and humor.
David N. Parker
I once read the first Miss Manners book cover to cover, so this is the SECOND Etiquette book I have read.
Reader

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Amazonian on June 1, 2011
Format: Paperback
More than a social etiquette manual, this book is a guide to acting purposefully toward and about others, and toward oneself. To read and appreciate this book is to take a stance against the invisible "privilege" that we carry as members of whatever societally favored group of people we might belong to. The very fact of acknowledging a possible difference (or not) in our interactions with others is an act of enlightenment. And for the practical-minded reader, the book really comes in handy in a variety of situations. Highly recommended!
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful By David N. Parker VINE VOICE on June 26, 2011
Format: Paperback
This is an excellent reference book on manners for all occasions. Many of the topics apply to everybody, gay or straight. But there are both major differences and minor nuances between what is acceptable for personal interaction between straight and gay people and communities. This book appears to cover them all.
Author Petrow built this book upon his history and expertise gained through many years of writing advice columns about manners for the LGBT community. In this book, his highly-regarded advice is interspersed with actual inquiries (called "Queeries") culled from his columns and questions from his fans. If there is something about manners he has overlooked, I can't imagine what it is.
Petrow's writing style makes the reading easy and gets his point across with situational explanations and humor. However, different segments of the book use different fonts that I found distracting, although the y do set apart the "Queeries," the columns of advice, and the responses to the "Queeries.
I found it physically difficult to read these responses. The typeface is both small and faint, and my 77 year old eyes strained to recognize what is being said. If your eyesight is like mine, you will want a magnifying lens to make reading them comfortable. Since these responses are very important to the understanding of the subject, I am disappointed that this typeface was chosen.
Overall I think this is a valuable reference tool for anyone - gay or straight - who wants to deal supportively with the LGBT community. It can be particularly useful for those of us in the straight community who want to be aware of the subtle nuances of manners when dealing with our LGBT family members and friends.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By DC on June 1, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am a straight, married, middle-aged mother of three young adult children. Most of our friends and colleagues are straight too, but some are not and our children's friends are all over the map, in terms of sexual preference, questioning, etc. For me, Petrow's book provides a terrific road map to the Gay Autonomous Region, an area that I have never really visited, but want to understand better. From etiquette to health issues, Gay and Lesbian Manners covers the territory. Petrow's clear and unblinking treatment of difficult subjects is a credit to the mature gay movement, as is the sensitive way he seeks to bring the straight community into the discussion (with frequent "Straight Talk" sections). As I learn to navigate the expanded world the gay community is providing all of us, I am grateful to have Petrow's guidebook at hand.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Bob Witeck on June 1, 2011
Format: Paperback
Steven Petrow has made an ambitious promise to all of his readers -- that begins with the title's boast of "Complete." Never a nitpicker, however, I am in awe how truly comprehensive, sensitive and valuable this new guide will be. For any gay reader, and family and friends, this is a remarkably powerful new resource to answer a flotilla of questions that life throws us -- in terms of our everyday needs as well as our intimate and close relationships.

LGBT people learned long ago that "one size does not fit all." Having been the exception to many, many rules, we know how important it is to have a set of standards and rules that uniquely fit us and our lives and loves. Petrow does this with experience, warmth, wit and knowledge in a way that few others would dare try.

I cannot recommend this book enough. It is a gift that might accompany any occasion from "coming out" to graduation, to starting a new job or a new life with someone you love. Or just because wherever you go and however you live, it's good to have a trusted friend by your side. Steven Petro is that friend.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By S. Piver on June 1, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Petrow's book is a masterwork. He leaves no stone unturned in his quest to introduce decency, kindness, and elegance into every aspect of daily life. From dinner parties to dating & marriage to coming out, this is a guide to living your best LGBT life authentically and happily.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Thomas Carpenter on June 1, 2011
Format: Paperback
I've long been a big fan of Steven Petrow's writing--in general, but especially on this particular topic. As members of the LGBT community move toward gaining increasing acceptance in the social realm and equal rights in the political realm, the shifting landscape presents a lot of ambiguity for all sorts of people--whether gay or straight. Steven Petrow's writing on etiquette and manners is much more than merely a crash course in how to be polite. It's a comprehensive guide to being appropriate, respectful and ethical in a world where changing attitudes and sensibilities present all sorts of new and complicated relationships and situations. Check it out.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Wilson Trivino on July 1, 2011
Format: Paperback
As technology and the speed of information changes our lives, so does the acceptable social graces in societies' evolution. Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners is a an important took in keeping up to date on how to prevent awkward situations in daily living.

The book's genius came from the countless questions and comments he receives on his website [...]. Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners is simply broken down into four areas: being LGBT, Love & Sex, Tying the Knot, Children, and Everyday Living.

On June 7 at the Outwrite Bookstore in the heart of Midtown, Petrow was joined by CNN's own Don Lemon, who served as moderated to the question and answer session.

Don Lemon, who "came out" two weeks ago, and has a soon to be release book, thought the book had helpful insight to the "dos and don'ts" within the LGBT life. His biggest surprise has been the support he has received and the uproar that it caused. "At one point, my story was one of the most tweeted", shared Lemon.

Petrow intends for the book to be a resource when individuals have those uncommon questions.

How do your refer to a same sex couple? Husband, husband or wife wife? Answer: listen to how the partner is introduced.
When probed on the most often asked question? Petrow said "overwhelmingly answers on coming out and saying `I'm gay'". In the book he points out to four steps: 1- Make a plan. 2- Consider all reactions 3- Do your research and 4- Keep it simple. Petrow also points out that when someone confines in you, that shows a deep level of trust.

On the opposite spectrum, if you suspect that someone is gay, you should not ask them. They will let you know.
Read more ›
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