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Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self [Paperback]

Lori Gottlieb
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (143 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 17, 2009
"I wish to be the thinnest girl at school, or maybe even the thinnest eleven-year-old on the entire planet," confides Lori Gottlieb to her diary. "I mean, what are girls supposed to wish for, other than being thin?"

For a girl growing up in Beverly Hills in 1978, the motto "You can never be too rich or too thin" is writ large. Precocious Lori learns her lessons well, so when she's told that "real women don't eat dessert" and "no one could ever like a girl who has thunder thighs," she decides to become a paragon of dieting. Soon Lori has become the "stick figure" she's longed to resemble. But then what? Stick Figure takes the reader on a gripping journey, as Lori struggles to reclaim both her body and her spirit.

By turns painful and wry, Lori's efforts to reconcile the conflicting messages society sends women ring as true today as when she first recorded these impressions. "One diet book says that if you drink three full glasses of water one hour before every meal to fill yourself up, you'll lose a pound a day. Another book says that once you start losing weight, everyone will ask, 'How did you do it?' but you shouldn't tell them because it's 'your little secret.' Then right above that part it says, 'New York Times bestseller.' Some secret."

With an edgy wit and keenly observant eye, Stick Figure delivers an engrossing glimpse into the mind of a girl in transition to adulthood. This raw, no-holds-barred account is a powerful cautionary tale about the dangers of living up to society's expectations.


Frequently Bought Together

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self + Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia (P.S.) + Thin
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In the image-conscious world of 1970s Beverly Hills, 11-year-old Lori knows she's different. Instead of trading clothes and dreaming of teen idols like most of her pre-adolescent friends, Lori prefers reading books, writing in her journal and making up her own creative homework assignments. Chronically disapproving of her parents' shallow lifestyle, she challenges their authority and chafes under their constant demands to curb her frank opinions and act more "ladylike." Feeling as though she has lost control over her rapidly changing world, Lori focuses all her concentration on one subject: dieting. Her life narrows to a single goal--to be "...the thinnest eleven year old on the entire planet." But once she achieves her "stick figure," Lori really sees herself for the first time in a restaurant bathroom mirror and decides then and there to bring herself back from the brink of starvation.

Stick Figure is a surprisingly upbeat memoir, mainly due to Gottlieb's descriptions of her upper-crust parents: "Mom and I usually don't like the same movies. For example, she didn't like my favorite movie, Star Wars, probably because no one goes shopping...." But despite the sly humor, Lori comes to a sobering conclusion that is, sadly, still relevant today: "...you can be too thin and not even know it, because you spend so much time listening to everyone talk about how ladies are supposed to diet, and how something's wrong with you if you aren't worried about being thin, too." Culled from Gottlieb's pre-teen diaries, Stick Figure is a wry and engaging observation of an eating disorder and the society that contributed to it. --Jennifer Hubert --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

After happening upon the diary she kept when she was 11 years old, Gottlieb was moved to publish this chronicle of her struggle with anorexia nearly 20 years after she wrote it. In the late 1970s, she lived with her parents and brother in Beverly Hills, where Gottlieb's loneliness and concern about looking attractive to boys swiftly transformed into an obsession with dieting, although she had never been overweight. In her diary entries, she presents her father as a successful but emotionally withdrawn stockbroker, and her mother as a controlling airhead whose major concerns were her appearance and shopping. Gottlieb's parents became very alarmed, however, when their daughter, who believed that even smelling food would make her gain weight, kept refusing to eat. They took her to their family physician and then to a therapist who hospitalized her for several months when her condition continued to deteriorate. Though it is clear that Gottlieb, who is a regular contributor to Salon, has polished her childhood diary, her descriptions of preteen vulnerability and self-consciousness ring true--for example, when she recounts how, at lunchtime one day, her popularity skyrocketed because she could figure out a diet plan for every girl. In the context of the daunting (though unfootnoted) statistic Gottlieb cites, that "50% of fourth grade girls in the United States diet, because they think they're too fat," her diary offers haunting evidence of what little progress we have made. Agents, Jill Grinberg and Laurie Fox. First serial to YM; BOMC and QPB alternates; 3-city author tour; foreign rights sold in Germany, Finland and Portugal. (Mar.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (November 17, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1439148902
  • ISBN-13: 978-1439148907
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.8 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (143 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #110,698 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Lori Gottlieb is the New York Times bestselling author whose first book, STICK FIGURE: A DIARY OF MY FORMER SELF, was an American Library Association "Best Books 2001" selection. She has also co-written I LOVE YOU, NICE TO MEET YOU and INSIDE THE CULT OF KIBU. Her radio commentaries can be heard on National Public Radio and her journalism has been published in The New York Times, the Atlantic, Time, People, Elle, Self, Slate and Glamour. Her newest book, MARRY HIM: THE CASE FOR SETTLING FOR MR. GOOD ENOUGH, is a surprising and in-depth look at modern dating, marriage, and what really makes for a happy long-term romantic partnership. Visit her website at www.lorigottlieb.com.

Customer Reviews

I felt like I was reading my OWN diaires, I related to this book so much! Hill Barb  |  15 reviewers made a similar statement
This story is the memoir of a Beverly Hills woman's descent into anorexia at the age of 11. J. Miller  |  14 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
41 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST-READ for parents of young girls! June 16, 2000
Format:Hardcover
A startling look at the progression from complete body-innocence to complete body-consciousness. This book is comprised of Lori's diaries from when she was about 11 years old. When it starts out, she's a pretty normal kid: goofing around, worrying about being liked, and just, basically, being 11. However, Lori was surrounded by women who were constantly telling her they were fat or she was fat or they/she would BECOME fat if they did this or that. As the result of this constant brainwashing (really, that's what it is, you guys), she slowly begins to think real women just don't eat. So, she quits eating too.

It was horrifying to watch her mind go through the changes -- one minute she's a happy kid munching on a cookie after school and the next minute, she's in the hospital weighing less than 50 pounds and thinking her thighs are fat. She even believes breathing in air that SMELLS like food is enough to gain weight and her desperation to avoid gaining a single ounce is just gut-wrenching. I have felt that fear and I felt it again when I read this (a sign of good writing, incidentally). But when people tell her to stop dieting, she doesn't understand why since everyone around her is dieting too. Her friends throw away their lunches, her mom eats a few bites of salad for dinner and then sneaks down to the kitchen for cookies later, etc. etc. etc. The only people eating normally are her brother and father, and they're both too oblivious to really see what's going on.

One of the scariest parts of this book for me was realizing how many things Lori did when in the throes of anorexia that I do or have done. It's a real wake-up call. I mean, how can I yell at Lori to EAT THE DAMN COOKIE! when I pick all the cheese off my pizza, keep a constant mental tally of the calories I've consumed today, and wouldn't eat a real bowl of ice cream if you paid me? The book really made me aware of the fact my own habits have the potential for really screwing up my kids (when I have some) and that kinda shook me up a bit.

Because, in fact, her parents are the ones who really turned Lori into the anorexic she became and they didn't even realize they were doing it. Her mother is not only a terrible influence on Lori's eating habits (Lori picked up a lot of her behaviors FROM her mother), but she's also self-centered and childish. She doesn't give a damn about her daughter -- she's just concerned that having a skeletal child will reflect poorly on her. I wanted to smack her. And her father, though obviously caring, didn't put two-and-two together and tell her the obvious -- YOU ARE THIN and YOUR MOTHER IS JUST CRAZY, IGNORE HER.

I went on my first diet in the third grade and it took me about 20 years to realize I look great the way I am. People, we have GOT to do better than that. I wish all parents of little girls would read this book.

Incidentally, one reviewer here said the book was totally unbelieveable because at the end Lori looks at herself in the mirror and suddenly recovers. I don't think that's actually what happens. The book ENDS there, but it doesn't say "and that's when I was cured of my anorexia." Of course it's not that simple. And I bet you Lori would probably be the last person ever to say it was.

Read this book!

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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A very unique perspective on anorexia May 1, 2000
Format:Hardcover
This story is the memoir of a Beverly Hills woman's descent into anorexia at the age of 11. Her mother's constant "real women don't eat dessert" attitude, her perfectionistic nature, and the realization of how much power she could get by not eating were the main factors I saw that lead to the disease.

Strikingly first person, the story is written based on Gottlieb's childhood diaries. Therefore, it has a very unique tone to it. Her attitude that the rest of the world is crazy gives the reader a sense of what could be going on in the minds of other young girls with anorexia. It is exceptionally poignant; humorous at times and heartwrenching at others.

I literally wanted to jump in the book and knock some sense into her parents, based on the way they were "handling" Lori. Her mother's comments made me jerk with agitation at some points. Of course, it was 1978 when much less was known of the disease. Fortunately, the support today is much stronger for the families of anorexics, who can then better support the terrible situation of their loved ones.

What surprised me the most about this book was how Lori was such a brilliant student. In my mind, smart people don't get anorexia. It certainly shifted my thinking about who the prime candidates for this disease are.

I would recommend this book to anyone who deals with girls as young as 10. It is amazing how early anorexia starts, and this book gives a great new perspective on the disease, and of some of the warning signs.

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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars As Amazing as "WASTED"! February 6, 2001
By amy
Format:Hardcover
Because I struggled with an eating disorder in high school and college (I'm now in my mid-20s), I've read a lot of memoirs on this subject with particular interest. A friend who also recovered from anorexia recommended STICK FIGURE to me, saying, "You'll see yourself in this girl. And you'll LOVE her as much as you want to help her." What she meant wasn't just the very realistic depiction of obsession and distorted thinking that occurs with an eating disorder, but the fact that because these are real diaries, we see the whole girl, not someone looking back and talking only about how many hours it took to eat an apple. In other words, we see a girl who's funny and smart and as impossible as your average adolescent, who just HAPPENS to also be falling into a devastating illness. (I wonder what the author is like now -- she was HILARIOUS as a kid.)

Most books about anorexics depict them as being incredibly controlling, compulsive, and monomanical about dieting - which they ARE - but that's usually ALL you see. Here, as in another great memoir, WASTED, you realize how complicated this illness can be. At times, Lori seems so "normal" -- even MORE "normal" than her friends and their dieting mothers. And you can really see how she's influenced by the attitudes around her, even though they don't "cause" her anorexia, they definitely contribute and add wry commentary on our media-driven culture.

Most people gave this book five stars, and if I could give it six stars, I would! I TOTALLY disagree with the two people who thought the book didn't depict Lori's recovery realistically -- I LIVED her recovery and really related to the book's ending -- it isn't all neat and tidy. If they thought she saw herself in the mirror and suddenly ate again, then they clearly missed what was going on in Lori's mind. What's so compelling about this book is how subtle the messages are -- you're in the mind of an adolescent, you're reading her journals, and every line seems to have some significance without hitting you over the head with a profound "epiphany."

Even for people who have no experience with eating disorders, I highly recommend this book. All the people in her life-- her parents, her brother, her friends, her teachers, her doctors -- actually make this a FUN book to read (tragic, too, obviously, but you'll laugh even as it's sad and frightening). The people in the book are "out there" yet so real at the same time (I think we had the same teachers!). It's not quite the Addams Family, but the Los Angeles family Lori grew up in isn't quite the Cleavers either.

If you loved "Wasted," you'll love "Stick Figure." And you might even learn something -- about yourself, about eating disorders, about the confusion of being a female teenager, and about the ridiculous pressures of our society -- along the way. But mostly, you'll just want to read it over and over again.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Smart, funny, recommended =)
This book is a far cry from a lot of other eating disorder books I have read, as it is a lot more light-hearted than for example "Wasted" by Marya Hornbacher. Read more
Published 20 months ago by TickyToes
5.0 out of 5 stars Good!
This was delivered super fast and the book was in very good condition! I could tell it was used but it doesn't have any tears or ink stains or rips of any kind! Read more
Published on November 25, 2010 by shea86
4.0 out of 5 stars A frank glimpse into the mind of a precocious 11-year-old girl...
Even at age 11, Lori Gottlieb knows she's different. None of her schoolwork challenges her, prompting her to come up with creative interpretations of her assignments that always... Read more
Published on September 13, 2009 by Joanna Mechlinski
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book
Lori Gottlieb has a real talent for writing the truth and making you laugh about it. I liked this book enough that I reread it, which is not something I tend to do. Read more
Published on April 21, 2009 by T. McPherson
2.0 out of 5 stars Would not read this twice...
Honestly, I'm still struggling with my eating disorder I've had for 6 years, and for some reason I'm falling into a rough patch. Read more
Published on July 14, 2008 by Natalie
2.0 out of 5 stars Hm.
I couldn't help but be a bit offended by this book. I mean, I read the whole thing and it wasn't terrible, but it didn't portray eating disorders in a way that I would want... Read more
Published on June 21, 2008 by Ruthie
4.0 out of 5 stars Written by an adult, from a childs point of view
I'm first of all very upset at some of these reviews. When people say "an adult trying to sound like an elevn year old. Read more
Published on June 3, 2008 by L. hauger
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
I find the people who are insulted with this book highly entertaining. This is NOT supposed to be some complicated scientific approach to anorexia. Read more
Published on November 13, 2007 by Anonymous
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Book
This book is a very easy read and is enjoyable. However, one year does seem unrealistic for a girl to go into treatment and recover from an eating disorder and then never really... Read more
Published on August 28, 2007 by Raven
3.0 out of 5 stars Meh
I've read a lot of books about eating disorders and people with them, and this is one of my least favorites. Read more
Published on August 7, 2007 by Japhy Ryder
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