Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is THE book to get ., May 2, 2000
If you want to get into your husbands heart and headregardinghis feelings and thoughts as a Divorced Dad, this is THE bookto get. (I personally got a lot out of this book) As second wivesand many times custodial mothers we have encountered difficulty relating to our husbands anger and frustration as a divorced dad. As a second wife to a divorced non-custodial father, I believe this book is invaluable to not only divorced dads, but to second wives trying to understand.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A book not only for fathers but also for mothers in divorce., February 25, 1999
By A Customer
Members of the Children's Rights Council already know Serge Prengel as an author: in 1996/1997 his series "Twelve Steps for Divorced Fathers" was published in this newsletter -before it came out in book form as Twelve Steps for the Divorced Dad a few months ago (New York: Mission Creative Energy, 186 pp., paper, $13.95). Now Prengel, who last December retired as president of CRC's NYC chapter after serving for more than five years, has published a new book, which hit the bookstores in February: Still a Dad: The Divorced Father's Journey (New York: Mission Creative Energy, xvi + 224 pp., paper, $13.95; ISBN: 1-892482-00-2). Contrary to many other books about divorce, Still a Dad is not a work borne of anger, resentment, and quick judgments arrived at after very painful lessons. Rather, it focuses on the healing process that must take place if the disenfranchised divorcé wants to be what he is called upon to be: a good dad. Serge knows the anger battered fathers experience when their ex-wives and judges treat them as mere sperm and money banks, the agony of losing daily contact with one's children, and the bitterness at being demeaned and exploited. But he also manages to see the horrible situation in our hostile matrimonial courts from the ex-wife's point of view. Serge makes us feel her fear, her conflicts, and her sense of the danger of being deprived of a sense of identity and power. And so Still a Dad has a powerful conciliatory effect: it teaches us to accept what has to be accepted if we want to be the best fathers we can be to our children, no matter how adverse circumstances are or even how impossible they seem to make true parenthood. At the same time it enables us to listen to our adversaries-which is the first step to the dialog that is necessary for our children's well-being, as well as our own. For this reason I hope that Still a Dad will find as many women among its readers as it finds men. Without the truce, or ideally even peace, this book propagates, our internal conflicts will not be resolved until they have transferred to our children and damaged them for life. Review by Thomas Thornton in New York City Children's Rights Council, Newsletter Vol. VII No. 3 (March 1999)
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good advice, but a lot of "Grin and Bear It.", March 19, 2001
I enjoyed reading "Still a Dad," as I'm currently going through a divorce. Although I related with almost all of the feelings and tribulations outlined in the book, I was disappointed in the perspective of surrendering described in the last few chapters. The book communicates in no uncertain terms that divorce isn't fair, but it seems to suggest that fathers should realize that they can't change the system because of all of the biases. Therefore, the book suggests, fathers should be happy with what they've got, instead of fretting over what they don't have -- significant time with their children. For any father who is going through a divorce and is missing his children, this advice isn't sufficient and certainly doesn't wipe away the tears. The author seems to suggest that fathers should be satisfied with mailing cookies or spending every other weekend with their children, because that's all they're going to get -- if that's what the mother wants. Any father who thinks he is the better parent, should use the court system, no matter how biased it is, to become the primary custodian. This book did not expend a single word telling fathers -- caring fathers -- how to do this.
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