Customer Reviews

Still Going It Alone: Mothering With Faith and Finesse When the Children Have Grown

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

STILL GOING IT ALONE is an ideological book providing direction and guidance to parents as well as narratives of the real-life experiences of many mothers. Inspirational sections at the end of each chapter, titled "Every Mother's Prayer" and "Thought for the Day," offer Christian-based spiritual guidance. Author Michele Howe tackles the many issues related to raising older children and acclimating to the inevitable change of the empty nest, particularly in the case of the single mom. Howe approaches parenthood as a privilege and a multi-faceted responsibility that never ends, and illustrates beautifully the bond between parent and child at any stage of life and the value of family in every mother's legacy.

The best thing about this book is that it offers insightful, ethical, sound advice for dealing with a variety of situations in life, and the personal narratives are real-life experiences that each of us can relate to and smile at. I would expect these stories to hold great humor and irony for many moms who have been through similar experiences with their own kids. And for those who have yet to experience them, we can only laugh, try to gain some wisdom and hope for the best.

One mother's son, for example, drops out of college after losing his hard-earned scholarship because of simple lack of direction. He takes out student loans that he has yet to pay back, but then decides to abandon all education or job plans and dash off to Europe with his buddies to do who knows what while his friends go to school. One can only imagine the angst of his poor mom as he glides through young adulthood seemingly oblivious to reality. This particular mom chooses to kick him out and make him pay his own way rather than foot the bill for the ridiculous trip while he puts his life on hold.

One mom who wishes to teach her adult daughters about the responsibilities and challenges of marriage decides to start a weekly role-playing session with them, where they act out the role of a married couple while splurging on fudge ice cream. Another mom whose daughter was suddenly off to college went to clean out her room and found that she felt empty and saddened by all the seemingly discarded items strewn about haphazardly. However, upon looking more closely at her daughter's various possessions dating from young childhood all the way to adulthood, she gained a larger perspective of a childhood well spent and a job well done, and, with that, peace and fulfillment.

This well-written book is unique in that it is based on an ideology of hopefulness and acceptance in the face of adversity, focusing on substance and reason rather than emotional affectation. It is written for a specialized audience, particularly Christian single mothers, and offers a distinctive spiritual background to parental approaches. Howe does an excellent job of exploring many subjects that people don't commonly think about, like caring for an aging parent or how to deal with your in-laws. STILL GOING IT ALONE offers a lot of food for thought for every mother and is well worth reading.

--- Reviewed by Melanie Smith

This book is unique in the literature of single parenting: The first book we've read (in 25 years as family counselors, specializing in single parents and divorced adults) that talks about single parenting AFTER the kids are grown and gone.

Author Michele Howe is well known to us from her previous books (you can find them right here on Amazon!) that are excellent resources for any single parent. Now she has created a brand new book that serves a niche market NO ONE has served before.

"Still Going It Alone" is wise, warm and wonderful. Here's the kind of candid and sincere advice you might get from a close personal friend, if you had one, who was experiencing the empty-nest syndrome as a single mom. She'd confide in you, enlighten you and encourage you --- which is just exactly what this book does for the reader.

This is a five-star book and would make a wonderful gift for any single mom you know who has grown (or almost-grown) children to care for.

Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of ten books, including:
Raising Great Kids on Your Own: A Guide and Companion for Every Single Parent

Finally a book for that large segment of midlife moms who are still parenting but their children are older. Most books address parenting young children, but Michele has hit the mark with a large and growing audience. This is much needed and welcome by us who find these years daunting. Michele writes with a sweet spirit and touches the issues moms face with practical and Biblical advice.

I purchased this book for my sister who has raised 3 children by herself and now her children are entering adulthood. There is little out there on this subject of single mom's once the children have grown. I decided to read the book before I passed it on to my sister.

There is terrific advice contained in this book. I highly recommend it. Michele Howe writes with clarity, purpose and insight and gives wonderful examples of women's lives on the journey to midlife!! If you are not a single mom, read it anyway, then pass it onto someone who could benefit from the wisdom contained in this great book!

The saying, "Once a parent, always a parent," is so true. In her book Still Going It Alone, Michele Howe offers encouragement and advice for single moms who are approaching the empty nest and looking beyond. As well as accepting the changes that take place in the parent/adult-child relationship, single moms need to look to their futures regarding friends, finances, and job opportunities. Michelle provides solid advice on taking care of oneself as well as aging parents and the joys of grandparenting. All the while, she points out the importance of keeping their lives centered on their Maker.

Susan Osborn, Director of the Christian Communicator Manuscript Critique Service, author of 29 books.

With her signature encouraging attitude, Michele Howe passes on her wisdom from the trenches to Christian single mothers, assisting them to navigate life with faith and finesse after their children have grown. Michele invites us to live our present moments fully while also focusing on the future. She explains that "perfection doesn't exist this side of heaven" and bids us to "redefine our terms and open our eyes and heart in gratitude" to all that life holds for us. She encourages us to continue to invest time in vital family relationships.
Creatively utilizing "slice of life" scenarios for single mothers, Michele paints realistic pictures covering many aspects of life. Beginning with the empty nest and progressing to setting goals, preparing for future realities and possibilities which may include aging parents, remarriage, accepting limitations, facing the unknown, and discovering joy amid it all--Michele gives single mothers much to ponder and embrace for true contentment in their vocations as Christian mothers.
Michele Howe's spiritual wisdom and attitude are encouraging and contagious! Still Going It Alone: Mothering with Faith and Finesse after the Children Have Grown is a book that you'll want to read and ponder over a cup of tea. You'll be drawn in to its welcoming ambiance and won't be able to put it down!

Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle, best-selling author of The Heart of Motherhood: Finding Holiness in the Catholic Home, Prayerfully Expecting: A Nine Month Novena for Mothers to Be, Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers, Catholic Saints Prayer Book, The Domestic Church: Room by Room: A Mother's Study Guide, and Grace Café: Serving up Recipes for Faithful Mothering

Even though I'm not a single mom, I truly enjoyed Michele Howe's latest book and am strongly recommending it for other mothers of a "certain age" whose children are growing up all too quickly.

Michele offers both practical advice for dealing with situations that arise as our kids age and move along to lives of their own, as well as inspiration and motivation. Her prayers and thoughts at the end of every chapter truly ARE for "every mother".

From pondering remarriage to accepting aging to accepting changing relationships with our children (and theirs!), Michele's wisdom is offered in a practical, personal and highly readable manner.

Reading this book makes me reflect on how we can make positive deposits into our personal character or negative withdrawals that leave us bankrupt. It's our choice...we are building a life-long character account.


All of us, like it or not, are faced with the burdens in this book as some time or another. It's how we work through them that makes the difference. We always have a choice, even if the choice is to do nothing. This book gives you a refreshing perspective on how to view burdens that come your way, and has meditations which you can refer to for years to come. It's like a reference book...when you are going through a difficult time, you can refer to a specific chapter in the book for positive reinforcement.

I don't think this is a book that you read and then "you are finished". It's a book you'll want to pick up, and reflect on, as you experience life. It has practical advice and relevant scriptures to meditate on.