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Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying

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Indeed Ram Dass is still here in this moment after a crippling stroke to guide us toward an understanding of our place among our fellows in the world as we grow old. Once he was Richard Alpert, Harvard professor, and then, after turning on and dropping out in the sixties, became Ram Dass, author of the best-selling Be Here Now (1971), the axiom of the title from the ancients of the East thereby becoming a mantra for a generation of flower children.

In this inspiring and eminently readable book, Ram Dass celebrates aging as a time of self-discovery and of selfless service to others. What could be more appropriate for a man who has lived so passionately, who has traveled so widely and learned so much than to share his experience and wisdom with others? And Ram Dass does it well, without sanctimonious posturing or self-serving claptrap, in a prose style that is familiar, warm and sharing, and at times brilliant. Especially beautiful are the passages on pages 141-144 in which he recalls his Jewish home and then a visit to India in 1970. Of course he does remind us of the many friends and note worthies he has met along the way; and, true, he is not adverse to indulging himself a little with reflections about how HE has been of service to the aged, the infirm, and the dying. But this is only right. There is, as we are freed from many of the constraints of society and its shallow proprieties, no place for a false modesty, and if one has done well, one should be pleased with oneself, and like Walt Whitman, celebrate oneself. As a young man, Ram Dass went against the shared "wisdom" of the society that had so well nurtured him and sought his own way, and he found it. He is to be admired and listened to.

His way now is not that of renunciation, as one might expect from the Hindu influence on his life, but a more social orientation. He practices karma yoga, from the Bhagavad Gita in which one finds salvation and freedom through the non-attached performance of one's duties--one's dharma--without expectation, without seeking reward or the fruit of labor.

Ram Dass believes he suffered the stroke through the "fierce grace" of his guru because of this continued "attachment to the Ego" (pp. 200-201). By learning a deeper level of suffering first hand he drew closer to God. As his guru once said, "See? That's the way it works. Suffering does bring you closer to God." He was unable to totally renounce the delusions of this world, the social and political fruits that he loved so much, being such an intensely social person, and so the attachment remained. Now confined to a wheelchair he spends more time "hanging out" with his guru (p. 202), the deceased Maharajji, whom he reveres as a god, which is the way of the guru-devotee relationship. His faith was tested by the stroke, but he came away with his faith intact. He writes in closing the book, "I know now that my faith is unshakeable. That assurance is the highest gift I have received from the stroke..."

I think the most important thing this book does is to inspire us to treat our advancing years with wisdom and dignity, with a sense of self worth and to discard the empty notions found in the noxious and insidious suggestion that growing old is some kind of disease or reason for shame. Instead one embraces the natural changes that are taking place and sees them as a new challenge, full of unique surprises and experiences, and yes, pain and sorrow and loss. It takes a strong and focused person to grow old gracefully. (Growing old is not for the faint of heart!) And finally there is an understanding that death is part of life, its fulfillment to be sure. As Ram Dass writes on page 156, "by allowing the mystery of death...to inform our everyday life, we begin to see things anew." The key word is "inform." Death informs our life and makes it whole. Like Browning's Rabbi Ben Ezra, we might also say, "Grow old along with me!/The best is yet to be"; and in believing that and living it, and knowing that death itself is a great adventure, we are freed.

Ram Dass shares his experience through little stories about inspirational people he has met and how they guided him to an appreciation of what it means to change and grow old. His gentle and uplifting style, emphasizing the spiritual aspects of life, make reading this book a warm and fulfilling experience. Incidentally, the typographical style of the book, with its tinted pages with muted yantra symbols and the light wine/purple color of the letters makes for a very pretty book, pleasingly reminiscent of the wildly decorated, paper bag-colored pages of his best seller from long ago.

I first met Ram Dass when he spoke at Drake University in Des Moines many years ago. Such wit, charm, humor-and light! Since then I have read most of his books and have several of his audiotapes in my car, too. He never fails to make me laugh at my own failings-and keep going in spite of them. He also has helped me achieve a greater understanding about other people's failings, too-and what I can learn from them. His basic spiritual philosophy does not change, of course; after all, it is centuries old. But in his various books, he applies that philosophy to different situations, thus deepening and enriching my understanding of it. Now he applies his practiced spirituality to aging and dying, putting a whole new spin on the basic premise of learning to let go. This is a winner. All of his books are. I don't know if I will be able to laugh at my own death, but Ram Dass-with his humor, humanity, and wisdom-is helping me step back and consider my life and eventual passing in a more peaceful light. Light being the operative word, of course.

Ram Dass, a long time spiritual teacher of myself has written an extraordinary account of his learnings about aging. His work, influenced by Buddhist and Eastern teachings remind us all of the multiple planes of reality we exist upon, simultaneously. Easilly read, and written with authenticity and exceptional clarity, this work is destined to become a classic in a time when our Western world is so ready to dismiss our aging population. This book acknowledges the losses, pains, and out attachments to holding onto what was. It reminds us that our age is a concept we hold onto to identify ourselves on an earthly level, but on a spiritual level, we always are, have been, and will continue to be the same self that we always have been--that being the loving essence of our soulful self. Forget self pity. This book, while normalizing the experience and difficulties on a physical level, will remind you who you truly are. Highly recommended without reservation.

I purchased "Still Here" at the Pittsburg airport enroute to my brother's funeral. Throughout the weekend as I prepared to lay my brother to rest, Ram Dass' exploration of aging, change and death was with me every step of the way. It is about letting go, accepting, meditating and dispelling fear of aging, change and death. I found it a wonderfully life-affirming book and very informative. It was like having Ram Dass beside me, in his wheelchair, saying every once in a while throug the silence of my mourning, "Ah, and now this..." Thank you Ram Dass. This book is highly recommended, but please materialists and realists may need to find succour elsewhere.

When I was embarking on middle age, Ram Dass' Be Here Now, helped make it an easier transiton.

Now, that I've become a "geezer", again it's Ram Dass to the rescue.

In my late 60's, it was getting so confusing - that I finally took some courses in Gerontology at nearby American River College.

Ultimately, I became a gerontologist; I was a perfect student - my interest was keen...and personal.

Then, Ram Dass wrote Still Here - it is, I think, the definitive text-book on what it's like to be a wonderfully wise and validated Elder.

If you could only read one book on the subject of aging - this is it !

God bless you Richard...

And, me too...

Dave Robinson daveyrob@juno.com

...Make the price right and I'll order ten.

As Ram Dass so astutely observes, one of the benefits of aging is wisdom. A big part of that wisdom is coming to understand paradox. Perhaps the biggest paradox has to do with overcoming our fears. The secret, we learn, is not running from those fears, as so many people do, but turning around and confronting them. Better yet, embracing them. That's what Ram Dass advocates with the greatest fears of the western world -- aging, changing, and dying.

Plato wrote about Socrates "practicing death." Michel de Montaigne, the 16th Century French philosopher, wrote: "To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. Knowing how to die gives us freedom from subjection and constraint." Carl Jung said that he was convinced that it is hygienic to discover in death a goal toward which one can strive. Ram Dass discusses the psychology and philosophy of embracing aging, change, and dying, or, to put it in other words, of "practicing death."

Unfortunately, the average materialistic Westerner will not grasp the wisdom of Ram Dass. It is likely too advanced for the pure scientist or for the religious fundamentalist. In order to fully appreciate this book, one must have at least attempted to expand his or her consciousness to things outside the material world, beyond the ego. For the person on a truly spiritual path, Ram Dass provides the words to explain what that person has intuitively felt but has never been able to explain. The real paradox is that in learning how to practice death, we learn how to fully appreciate life and how to live it joyfully until it is time for transition.

Ram Dass has done it again; he's focused into the moment and brought forth the intimacy and superb subtleness of his life's experience for fellow travelers to explore and ponder. The advance guide and Uncle, as he calls himself, has a profound ability to articulate and impart the spiritual wisdom brought on by the advance of the years. A cerebral stroke has made this all the more amazing, for Ram Dass brings us to the threshhold of Death where he confirms that the Light of the Immortal Soul shines forth. This is a message that will remain with you and lighten your heart in these times of trouble. With grace, good humor and an understanding heart, Ram Dass again shares his wisdom for the benefit of those who will but stop and reflect upon the silence within of which he speaks. "In My house, there are many mansions" There we are! I recommend this book for all who would know the truth from a fellow seeker.

When I picked up the book "Still Here" from a roadside bookstall at MG Road, Bangalore, I was attracted by the title and the face on the front cover that looked very Western and yet carried a Hindu name, Ram Dass. The title raised certain questions in my mind. Why still here? Where was the author before?

This book is about an American Professor who gave up a cosy middle-class life for drugs, regained his paradise lost through a spiritual awakening and lost it again: this time to be wheelchair bound from a massive stroke in 1990. "Still Here" is not an academic work on social gerontology but an account of how one copes with disability and embraces the frailty of ageing. One may well call it a book on spiritual ageing or conscious ageing.

Ram Dass, born Richard Alpert, was a professor of psychology at Harvard. Together with Timothy Leary another psychology professor at the same university he explored human consciousness through the use of LSD and psilocybin ("magic mushrooms"). They promised a new experience for the restless American youth of the 1960s through the free use of drugs. That led many of the youth of that era down the slippery road of LSD tripping. Their book, the "Psychedelic Experience" became a sort of a guide for experiencing such drugs as LSD and psilocybin. In 1963 they were both dismissed from Harvard for the controversial nature of their research.

In 1967 Richard Alpert sought spiritual enlightment and became a disciple of Neem Karoli Maharaja a highly respected yogi who lived in the Himalayas. He went through a spiritual transformation and took on the name RAM DASS or "servant of God" given by his Master. He returned to the United States charged with the desire to do what he could do to alleviate the suffering of his fellow human beings, to "spread the grace around". He set up many helpful projects such as the Prison Ashram Project, Dying Project and Creating Our Future Project. He became an inspiration to a new generation of spiritual seekers and his book, "Be Here Now *", that sold millions of copies, changed the lives of many including prisoners.

Leaving spirituality aside, "Still Here" is a must read for the "young old" who need to face the inevitability of increased frailty as they age even further. Health care providers and social workers engaged in the care of the frail and aged sick, stroke patients, and also those providing hospice care will find it a timeless compendium. Written in a caring and sharing style, the book is easy to read and comprehend. It exudes an honest and unpretentious attempt to reassure that growing old or being afflicted with stroke and becoming wheel-chair bound, is not the end of the world but a new challenge to embrace the changes that are going on within and without us.

It is an inspiring and warm personal account of the physical and psycho-social problems that one has to confront with advancing age or physical disability. He draws immensely from the anecdotal experience of others. Among his "top ten hits" of possible inevitable medical woes are arthritis, insomnia, constipation, high blood pressure, hardening of arteries, blindness, deafness, loss of bowel and bladder control, prostrate cancer, osteoporosis and stroke.

The usual psycho-social aspects are even more difficult to handle: for example, loss of role and meaning and independence. These are accompanied with a sense of powerlessness, depression and fear. With the feeling of powerlessness comes a loss of meaning. As our roles to which we were accustomed change, we "cease to become individuals" and tend to view ourselves as meaningless and a burden to our family and community: the more so when we find ourselves in nursing homes, homes for the aged or a home for the destitute aged. Our lives become deprived of socially activity and our decision making process sadly curtailed.

Ram Dass devotes a whole chapter to coping with his stroke. For some days after the stroke he was just observing, not thinking wide-eyed he was watching "everything that was taking place with a kind of wonderment". As he went through the medical world of doctors and therapists of various disciplines, he observes with affection that "therapists and doctors believe it's their techniques that make the difference, but I've come to realise that it's much more the power of the certainty that counts. It's their heart-to-heart resuscitation".

The message, Ram Dass projects is clear. The problems of ageing need not overwhelm us. We need to embrace them for all the ups and downs as a natural response, and age gracefully with worth and dignity even in a "society that would like to pretend that old people don't exist." In a culture where old people are sometimes treated like yesterday's old computers, the real treasure the old have is wisdom and it cannot be ignored: "wisdom is one of the few things in human life that does not diminish with age."

There is no right or wrong way of growing old, says Ram Dass. If we could have managed to live through marriage, parenthood, work and other areas of social functioning, age should not pose intractable problems. We must, however, accept the futility of our continued attachments to power and other worldly possessions and persuasions. We need to give them up. The pursuit of spirituality can help. As Ram Dass points out, "cures aim at returning our bodies to what they were in the past, healing uses what is present to move us deeply to Soul Awareness, and in some cases, physical improvement".

Ram Dass, past seventy, is still learning the joy in being "STILL HERE".

Ram Dass explores the profundities and challenges of human frailty in a very personal way in Still Here: Emracing Aging, Changing and Dying. Written in part after Ram Dass's stroke in 1997, Still Here touches the core of weakness and all the bogeymen that come with it. Loneliness, embarrassment, powerlessness, loss of role/meaning, and depression are explored in the early part of the book--and that's all before Ram Dass gets to the good stuff. As in Journey of Awakening and Be Here Now, the author does a wonderful job of clearly explaining the cause of human suffering and its remedy.

I bought this book because I wanted to better understand my grandmother's world and what my parents are beginning to face, but I ended up experiencing its apt relevance to 36-year-old me.

If you are not familiar with Ram Dass, then my guess is that it will take more than a brief review to explain. Among other things, his philosophy is that in addition to looking at the world from your own perspective, you can try to look at it from a higher perspective, as if you were outside your mind/body, looking in. So, when you are facing a particularly melodramatic moment in your life, while part of you is feeling the anxiety, you also have this higher perspective that is saying, "Hmmm...interesting."

It is especially challenging to include the "Hmmm...interesting" perspective when confronted with aging and terminal illness. Those phenomena are particularly melodramatic. Thus, "Still Here" would give someone who is new to Ram Dass a particularly striking illustration of his ideas.

For those of us who have been exposed to Ram Dass through earlier books or tapes (unfortunately, my favorite old tape, "Who are you?" no longer seems to be available), "Still Here" is just the same old, same old. His philosophy is not different, but now there is a focus on the issue of aging.

What I like to do with "Still Here" is keep it at bedside. I might have been reading a magazine about business or technology, where the tone is very intense and urgent ("this new trend/development affects everyone--NOW"). To restore my serenity and perspective, I will read a section or two of "Still Here" before going to sleep.