Customer Reviews

Stolen Innocence: My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs

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Stolen Innocence - by Elissa Wall with Lisa Pulitzer


Ellissa Wall was brought up in the bosom of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints and at fourteen was forced to marry her older first cousin, and repeatedly raped throughout her 3 year marriage. This is Elissa's story. But it's also a glimpse into the workings of a way of life that many of us would find chilling, yet was perfectly normal for Elissa and her many siblings. We learn how plural marriages work (and at times may even work well for the people who have learned nothing else but this way of life) and how they shouldn't work, we learn how on the whim of one man, a Sister Mother and her children can be taken away; with no explanation, from her husband and given to another man deemed more worthy. We learn how one man used his so-called, influence with God, to force families to shun their own children, sell their business and properties, to live in fear. And, this is also the story of the rise and fall of that very influential, very manipulative man; a man named Warren Jeffs, the self-proclaimed Prophet of the FLDS.

This is a heart breaking story of Elissa's struggle to be the perfect daughter, student, person. We see her struggles even at a very young age to "stay sweet", a common phrase used when you are shattering inside, but can't let it show - and what happens when someone finally breaks her spirit. This is also an example to all women that they can overcome, be brave and even learn to grow from the horrors they may have been forced to endure.

One thing that disturbed me is that in this book, we never learn whether or not any of the women actually loved/love their husbands or if their husbands loved/love them and this lack begs the question - when one is never shown a loving relationship between man and wife, when spousal relationships are more like business deals, then how did Elissa know that she would never come to love her husband? I would have like to have seen this addressed.

It's remarkable and repulsive to learn that practices such as this go on in our progressive country. These are things we thinkonly happen in third world countries.
This is an excellent, timely, eye opening read and should be a 'must' read for anyone interested in issues involving women in our country during this century.

Like Carolyn Jessop's book Escape Elissa Wall describes her life in the FLDS or Fundamentalist Church of Later Day Saints.

Elissa spent much of her childhood with her parents, her 12 siblings and 10 step-siblings in Salt Lake City, Utah. When she was 9 however Warren Jeffs (the son of the prophet Rulon) had her father banished and her mother "given" to leader Fred Jessop. Elissa did not have an easy time because her step-sisters would make fun of her and her siblings. When she was 14 Fred told the family that three of the daughters of the home would be married soon. Elissa did not realize that she would be one of them and when she found out that she was to marry her 18 year old first cousin Allen Steed she was mad.

During the time between the announcement that she was to be married and the marriage itself she tried to get Warren and Rulon Jeffs to change their minds and give her more time. They did not and at 14 she was married to Allen. Over the next 3 years she did her best to be a good wife, but Allen's abuse and sexual advances hurt her very deeply. She would spend much of her time living in her car or spending the night at her mothers house, so that she would not have to go home.

One night when she was 17 she was going to a space that she used to sleep in her truck when her tires blow and she started to have a miscarriage. She was in the mud trying to change her tire when she met Lamont Barlow a fellow member of the FLDS. This meeting changed their lives. At first they were just friends, but shortly after he left the FLDS they became romantically involved and Elissa became pregnant.

When Elissa was pregnant with her baby she left the FLDS and shortly afterwards was encouraged by her sisters who had also left the FLDS to file a suit against Allan, Warren Jeffs, and the FLDS which is detailed in the book.

This is a very powerful, well written book.

I read "Stolen Innocence" right after Escape and both were equally fascinating and equally riveting. But then I got to thinking. Which story is more catastrophic? I thought about this for a very long time because I couldn't really decide; each was such a vulgar and violent story of an FLDS bride. After second thought though I've come to the conclusion that "Stolen Innocence" is even more horrendous and hurtful (if you've read "Escape" then you'll know that this new book is truly tragic.)

You know, in my life I've read about many ugly vulgarities. Sometimes I really think that humanity is dead and our fellow (wo)man doesn't care about each other. But the book "Stolen Innocence" is genuinely the most repugnant and vicious story that I've ever read. Because of that, the book was also one of the most fascinating and detailed autobiographies that I've read.

Most of "Stolen Innocence" was all about the systematic and thought-out rape and sexual abuse of a minor. Ms. Elissa Wall was married off to a grown-man at the young age of only 14! The author describes how she begged everyone who would listen to at least give her "2 more years."

Once she was married she was the repeated victim of severe rape and sexual abuse at the hands of her 20 year-old husband, who, by the way, was also her biological cousin. And, I have to ask, what kind of sorry excuse, what kind of waste of human life would do such a thing to a little girl? Even wild animals aren't this barbaric and cruel. In great detail the author also courageously details how she begged her husband not to rape her.

However, Elissa was raped repeatedly because this cult, the FLDS, only considers girls their property! When Ms. Wall got the strength to speak to their "prophet," Warren Jeffs, this pig actually condoned what her husband did to her and even started blaming her! Can you believe that there is honestly a religion in the USA that would allow little girls to be married off and then forced into violent sexual abuse and raped, over and over again? It is disgusting and shocking and shameless, to say the very least. And I cannot believe this has gone on and continues to go on.

Elissa taught me that her story in and of itself isn't exactly unique. Girls are forced into sexual assault all the time and their "church," the FLDS, even condone this and promote this! What is unique about the author is that she had the courage to get out of this sulfurous-pit and she had the conviction to report her abuse to the authorities.

Like a prisoner sentenced to a life of hard-labor, Elissa tells how no one came to her rescue as she was trapped in this loveless marriage. No one. Not her mother, not her father, not her step-father. Nobody. Everyone was afraid of going against this Hitler-like tyrant, Warren Jeffs. Ms. Wall even states how he was like a god to them because this was all they were taught to believe. And that is probably what is fundamentally wrong with this cult. Because no one was ever allowed to think for themselves. Free-thought was not just frowned upon, it was reason enough to be expelled from this group. Thrown out like garbage. But why would anyone want to stay?

Even after all of the rape and sexual abuse, cased by her husband and Warren Jeffs, Elissa was still terrified of leaving. These passages of the book were both very sad and disappointing. But I suppose it's human nature. If this is all someone knows from the time they're born how could you expect them to leave without any trepidation? After all, even a dog comes back to his master who beats him because that's all he knows.

Finally, Elissa took to sleeping inside her truck at nights so she could avoid the violence that was sure to befall her inside her bedroom. The author thoughtfully details how her little truck wasn't at all comfortable, however she knew it was better than the complete and total hell she was sure to face if her rapist husband got a hold of her. This actually went on for months, too. Of course this isn't normalcy, but what do you expect a young girl to do who otherwise has zero options and is being victimized fairly regularly? As far as I'm concerned she coped way better than I could have. Most would have probably shot the S.O.B. between the eyes and went to jail happy, knowing that the world would be a better place with one less child-rapist.

Like "Escape," "Stolen Innocence" also recounts how the FLDS ruled every single aspect of the lives of everyone involved in this cult. The "church" owns the homes and land where each family lived and dictated what everyone had to wear and read. The cult even set up marriages. In fact, Elissa details how the cult was the only way someone could "experience salvation." The cult also had the power to tear apparent entire families. Pit son against father and mother against baby. Why? It was a way for these masochists to say: I am in Control. Elissa and all of the members of this cult were nothing more than slaves. But that doesn't excuse or condone what her rapist did to her in the least.

I also learned more about this cult, the FLDS. Elissa wrote about why it was "so important" for her to get married. One of the main tenants of this cult is to procreate and have as much children as possible. Of course it goes without saying that sexual education, contraception, abortion, even prenatal care and anything else that involved free-thinking and common sense (and intelligence) are totally off-limits.

Elissa even has the inner-strength to write about how she became pregnant multiple times as a result of her serial-rapist husband, Allen. I've always been raised to believe that the birth of a baby was a blessing. But how could anyone think that the rape of an underage teenager, by her adult cousin was a blessing? With zero prenatal care, this young child miscarried each time. You wanna know what the real "blessing" is? That's the blessing! Could you imagine bringing a baby into a world like that? A child should be brought into a world of love and acceptance, not fear and violence and shame. Perhaps this was the only circumstance (which was more or less by chance) which proved to be compassionate to Elissa.

Ms. Wall also explains with great triumph how she found real love and how, over time, she got away. Some of this portion of the book was very bittersweet and heartbreaking, though. Because Elissa was vilified by her soon-to-be-former cult. Elissa's rapist husband went running to Warren Jeffs when he couldn't control her any longer. Can you believe that Warren Jeffs actually blamed her again and even said that she should sacrifice her body (a human sacrifice?) Because of so much real d egradation and oppression, the truth inside this book really is stranger than fiction.

When Elissa writes about how she finally got away I was afraid for her safety because during these sections of the book it was the most suspenseful. But she found a way out of this hell. And she kept her sanity, too. Frankly, this would be enough to drive just about anyone crazy. But Elissa was so strong. Of course her brainwashed mother disowned her. It's so sad that her mother would side with the ones who raped her daughter, but I suppose that is common in this cult that rips apart families. And, Elissa was never bitter! She never used any negative words to describe any of the people who were the cruelest to her (Oh, I could think of a few.) She is wise beyond her years and such a compassionate person.

I can't recommend this book enough. If you're interested in women's issues, human rights issues or just books that describe adversity then "Stolen Innocence" is for you. BTW, this book also includes many never-before-published photos of life inside the FLDS. There are many color pictures inside the book and even some recent ones of Elissa and her current husband, her first Real Husband and her 2 precious babies. I also enjoyed this book because it was also the story of great hope. Anyone with any sentiency will cry tears of sorrow and tears of joy as you read this chilling narration.

What I also learned from this book is that the FLDS collectively raises their boys to be rapists, sexual deviants and sadists. And this same cult brings up the girls to be coconspirators, subservient wives and accepting victims. If that's not reason enough to take away all of these children and lock up their abusers then I'll never know what is. And, for the life of me, I don't understand why wasn't the FBI more involved with Elissa's case or with any of the recent cases involving this cult? It's not just a "domestic issue" and it's certainly not "religious prosecution." The rape of a child is a Federal Offense.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center (a not-for-profit organization,) as of 2005 they classified the FLDS as a "hate group." This is in part because of the cult's teachings that non-whites are "less than human." IMHO any hate group, even one that hides behind the guise of a "religion" must be stopped. Bigotry and lack of education are nothing more than poison and what this book taught me the most is that the FLDS is just as dangerous as any other "terrorist group" because of that very reason. Maybe more so, because we don't even know about it, fully. There's a saying that comes to mind, "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." I tend to disagree. As far as hate groups such as the FLDS are concerned, the greatest trick they ever pulled off was convincing their followers that the devil does exist.

I bought this book to read on a long flight but decided to take an advance "peak." I could not help myself - I just kept reading page after page until I finished it over the course of one afternoon! Melissa Wall tells her story in such an easy to read style, giving the reader a fascinating insider's tour of a completely different way of life. The book is respectful and dignified while it tells a shocking story of abuse and betrayal. The poignant description of a family's turmoil not only touches the heart but it also provokes deep thought. It raises questions of what is most important in life: struggles between faith and independent reasoning, tensions between family and church, between husbands and wives, between parents and children. This book is informative, entertaining, challenging, moving and disturbing. By revealing the intimate,inner experience of one girl's broken heart, it issues a powerful cry to all of us to protect and nurture children.
Sarah Chana Radcliffe, author, "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice"

This book is a first person account of a stifling, controlling and sometimes horrifying and criminal community of Mormon fundamentalists.

The Fundamentalist Church of the Latter Day Saints is rooted in fear of the "end of times", which always seems to be just around the bend. As we discover in the book, the "religion" or cult is very controlling of women, holding their salvation over their heads for ransom. This utter devotion by some of the women leaves many of the children who hit their teens and feel something is wrong - out in the cold, literally. My anger at Elissa's mother was raging at times. I wanted to shake her shoulders at times. I couldn't sacrafice my children to starvation, rape and other dangers just so I could be rewarded in the next life - and this women had FOURTEEN kids to mess up with - and she did with most of them, in my opinion. Elissa tried to take a forgiving Zen-like approach to the outrage anybody should feel towards her mother, but I am less forgiving I suppose.

I bought this book on a Friday and finsihed by early Sunday afternoon. I couldn't put it down I was in such disbelief at the torments that Elissa faced and how boldy they objectified, controlled and used women. It's archaic to say the least. Elissa's inner moral compass kept telling her somthing was wrong and she should follow her heart, and she did. That's something we have in common.

The co-author probably had a lot to do with how well written the book was since Elissa didn't get much of an education.

You did get the distinct impression she was telling her side of the story and I was nearly cheering out loud that she finally had a voice.

The author is also now helping others who want to escape this oppressive and controlling way of life.

There were several editing errors - from a period in the middle of a sentence to the wrong tense and the wrong word, in the case of "peak" which should have been "peek" - I was actually surprised at the number of errors. In any other book I probably would have stopped reading at the fourth or so error in a non-fiction book. The material in this book was so compelling I couldn't stop reading it.

I couldn't put this book down. From the very beginning I was captivated by Elissa Wall's story of childhood lost and countless heartbreaks. She offers her readers an amazing "behind the scene" look at polygamy in the United States under Warren Jeffs and brings new light to the plight of the women and children still living within its confines. Elissa is a brave young lady and this book offers readers a unique opportunity to glimpse into the her life as a young girl in the FLDS.

Everytime I give a memoir about a heartwrenching topic less than four stars, I tend to feel a tremendous amount of guilt. I always feel like the author will read my less than stellar review and think "Well I'm sorry that what I went through wasn't GOOD enough for you! What, did you want me to go through more so that you could me entertained?" While this wasn't my issue with Stolen Innocence, I do have to give it three stars (and that's being semi-generous).

My main issue with Stolen Innocence was that it lagged big time. A big chunk of this book was very repetitive. In fact, the first 100 pages were good and the last 100 pages were great. However, the middle was just a repeat of what she had mentioned in the first 100 pages repeated throughout about 200 more. This book would've been way better if it had been a bit on the shorter side sans any repeating.

Stolen Innocence was also terribly written. I do understand that Elissa Wall isn't a writer and hence this book wasn't going to be some literary masterpiece, but I did expect it to be semi well-written. Shouldn't her ghostwriter have made it a bit more readable? And the editor really should have done a better job. There were glaring typos all over Stolen Innocence. I had to resist the urge to take out a red pen and correct them all. This was a FINAL copy, not an Advanced Reader's Copy and therefore should have read like one.

Again I state that I did find Elisa Wall's story incredibly heartwrenching and the way that the FLDS treats its women really pisses me off. I am incredibly happy that Wall managed to escape and survive that ideal and I think it's great that she's sharing her story. I just wish it would've been better written.

This book was fascinating in a very emotional and anger-enducing way. I was horrified to learn more about how this cult lives, how the women are so inferior to the men, and the things they do all in the name of God.

A few points I would like to make - we know she was forced to marry her cousin and that she was miserable in the marriage, and for that I felt very bad for her. But...after she decided to completely avoid him, after awhile she seemed to really bloom with empowerment and spent a lot of time doing what normal teens do (but FLDS teens weren't supposed to): going into town and hanging out with friends, buying CDs, drinking beer, going to the movies, dressing more normally, etc. etc. to the point where she was very rarely at home - sleeping in her truck, going to work, and she had many friends who were supportive and helped each other do FLDS-contraband things. So my question would be, why not try to escape? Even if the entire police department in her remote town was all FLDS, she obviously had the means to go into other towns apparently without getting into any trouble, so why not go up to someone NOT FLDS and say, "Hey, I need some help, I'm being raped". There are safe harbors everywhere for abused children and women. She could have looked in the Phone book? Yellow Pages? A hospital?
She visited Canada, and even boarded a plane and had extended visits with defected relatives. Once she was there, couldn't they have helped her stay there? Could she have just stayed there? Why did she go back? Once physically out of the cult, it seems to me to be half the battle!

I also found myself feeling somewhat bad for Allen. He really didn't seem like a bad guy, just misguided and brainwashed. He is a product of his society. He was following the "prophet's" orders to go and multiply, thinking it would get him into heaven. He really seemed to want the marriage to work and seemed confused that his (which is the "prophet's" way) wasn't working and pushing Elissa away even more. Also I was wondering why Lamont did not get charged with statutory rape as she was only 17 when she conceived their first child. He was 23. I'm not sure what the laws are in that state - but she WAS still a minor.

I can't believe these parents and how they allow their children to enter a marriage, and without ANY knowledge or expectation of what sex entails!! Elissa's mother didn't protect her daughter and I find that inexcuseable as a mother myself. I hope her 2 little sisters are spared this fate.

Warren Jeffs should rot in jail forever. This story is only one person's story. Imagine how many more are out there that do not have the guts to do what Elissa did? I might not agree with everyhting she did, (such as not trying harder to escape, etc.) I still realize that she was only 14 when this all started, and handled all of this in the best way she knew how.

If ADULTS chose to live this lifestyle, so be it, but forcing 14 year olds to marry adult men is nothing short of criminal. They need to be old enough, mature enough, and exposed to enough different things to know if they want to chose this lifestyle for themselves, and certainly that doesn't happen by the ages they are marrying these young girls off.

Elissa Wall is a brave woman. Despite all of the social programming she was subjected to, she somehow still managed to maintain her independent spirit. She managed to break free of the society that had forced her, as a very young girl, into marriage...and ultimately, she truly sets herself free by writing this memoir and sharing herself and her story with others.

I began reading the book out of a sort of revolted fascination with the FLDS, but I soon got caught up on a much more personal level. It was an amazing read. I recommend it highly.

This is the 4th book about polygamy I've read just since hearing all about the FLDS in the news recently. I have been fascinated by the stories and found it hard to believe that pologamy is still being practiced in 2008. I had no idea. Amazing.

Of all 4 books I have read so far, I would have to rate this book #1 and definitely far, far better than "escape" by Carlolyn Jessop (whom also was from the FLDS group). I wasted my money on that book, and as a result, waited to get this one from the library as I didn't want to throw away my money again. In fact, I almost didn't read this one at all. But in the end, I was too curious not to read it. I'm glad I did. This book is much much better written and I didn't notice any contradictions in the book.

This child of 14 had far more reasons to feel betrayed and upset. She was abused many times by her husband. I never really got the feeling anywhere in the book that she was trying to lay blame on everyone else, just her abuser and the men who helped him continue his abuse. In fact, several times she mentions how there are good people in this cult. This book seems to be much more honest. Even when there were fights in her family with the other Mothers in her growing up years, she was always able to see their side of the story and not totally lay the blame on them. Remarkable, especially for a child so young.

Also, given the fact that she tried multiple times (by requesting meetings with the "prophet" and pleading her case to her Mother and Step-Father) to prevent and later to get out of her forced marriage, especially at the tender age of 14 spoke a great deal about her. If I had been in the same shoes, I know, at age 14, that I would not have had the courage to stand up to the "prophet" as she did. What she did was remarkable and proves she did all she could at that tender age to try somehow, someway to get out of that marriage.

I agree with another reviewer that this book doesn't deal as much with pologamy as sexual abuse, however, she does give many details about her own family growing up with 3 Mothers. I think it was horrible how Warren Jeffs kept separating their Father from his family and just "gave" his wives and children to other men. That is outrageous.

I read the book in one afternoon, I couldn't lay it down it was so interesting. And, thankfully, this book didn't leave me with the impression that she thought she was above everyone else in their cult, and she never tried to run the others down. In fact, my only impression when finishing the book was that I wanted to weep for her. I hope she and her current husband find continued healing and that somehow she can reunite with her Mother and sisters again.

A cut above the other pologamy books I've read, and several notches above "Escape".

Very good book. Well worth reading.