Stop Blaming, Start Loving!: A Solution-Oriented Approach to Improving Your Relationship [Paperback]

Patricia Hudson O'Hanlon (Author), Bill O'Hanlon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 17, 1996

"An excellent resource for anyone who wants to have a healthy relationship." --Bernie Siegel, M.D.

Here is a fresh, new approach to relationships. It goes beyond analyzing relationships to changing them, even if one partner isn't interested. Using a solution-oriented approach, the authors show readers how to:

• break free of old patterns in days or weeks, not months or years
• quickly and easily solve relationship problems
• improve their sex life
• increase feelings of love and closeness
• get over past hurts.

Since making the shift from analyzing the past to plotting the future is not easy, Bill O'Hanlon and Pat Hudson summarize key points and action steps for each change. They share the stories of their friends and therapy clients who have stopped blaming and started loving, inspiring their readers to be creative as they transform today's dreams of more romance and happiness into tomorrow's reality.

Editorial Reviews

Review

A wonderful guide that gives every couple hope and direction. If you are a man or a woman who is tired of complaining and wants solutions, you've picked up the right book! (Ellen Kreidman, author of Light His Fire and Light Her Fire )

About the Author

Bill O’Hanlon, is a founder of Possibility and Inclusive Therapies and is the author or coauthor of more than twenty books, including Do One Thing Different and Quick Steps to Resolving Trauma. He lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (July 17, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393314618
• ISBN-13: 978-0393314618
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #592,409 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Bill O'Hanlon, MS, LMFT, has authored or co-authored 30 books, the latest being Quick Steps to Resolving Trauma (W.W. Norton, October, 2010), A Guide to Trance Land (W.W. Norton, 2009); Pathways to Spirituality (W.W. Norton), Change 101: A Practical Guide to Creating Change (W.W. Norton, Fall 2006), and Thriving Through Crisis (Penguin/Perigee; winner of the Books for a Better Life Award). He has published 57 articles or book chapters. His books have been translated into 15 languages: French, Spanish, Portuguese, Swedish, Finnish, German, Chinese, Bulgarian, Turkish, Korean, Indonesian, Italian, Croatian, Arabic and Japanese. He has appeared on Oprah (with his book Do One Thing Different), The Today Show, and a variety of other television and radio programs. Since 1977, Bill has given over 1500 talks around the world. He has been a top-rated presenter at many national conferences and was awarded the 'Outstanding Mental Health Educator of the Year' in 2001 by the New England Educational Institute. Bill is a Licensed Mental Health Professional, Certified Professional Counselor, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Bill is clinical member of AAMFT (and winner of the 2003 New Mexico AMFT Distinguished Service Award), certified by the National Board of Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists and a Fellow and a Board Member of the American Psychotherapy Association. He is known for his storytelling, irreverent humor, clear and accessible style and his boundless enthusiasm for whatever he is doing.

Find him at billohanlon.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Easy to read, easy steps to follow, it all makes sense!, January 29, 2002

By 

"trgodfrey" (Chandler, AZ USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stop Blaming, Start Loving!: A Solution-Oriented Approach to Improving Your Relationship (Paperback)

This book is one of the best marital advice books I have ever read. It's written with you and I in mind, simple words and examples that are easy to follow. My husband and I read it at the same time and found it very interesting and useful to talk about with each other. The examples in the book, both pro and con for their points, really drive home the issues and make it much easier to understand the theory. I would highly reccommend this book to anyone who is married or thinking about getting married, even if you think there's nothing there to fix. This just helps make the bond and relationship much better.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Nuts and Bolts approach, came at just the right time, June 22, 2001

By 

"pedrobg" (Tegucigalpa, Honduras) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stop Blaming, Start Loving!: A Solution-Oriented Approach to Improving Your Relationship (Paperback)

I received this book from a friend on loan, now I am buying my own copy. I found the approach to be practical, applied, with good examples and really hopeful. Sure it's using ideas that have been around, but the couple who wrote this put these ideas in a clear, informative and helpful format. I'm not saying it's perfect, but it sure gave me some terrific ideas to use. I recommend it for people who are struggling with cycles of blame and resentment in their relationships. It's not about naming the disease as much as looking for practical things you can do about it. Definitely worth the price of admission.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars beware!, May 28, 2011

By 

KODAMA CHRISTINE (Tokyo, Japan) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Stop Blaming, Start Loving!: A Solution-Oriented Approach to Improving Your Relationship (Paperback)

I really enjoyed reading "Love is a Verb" published in 1995 and ordered "Stop Blaming start Loving" also published in 1995 to discover to my disappointment that it was the same book under a different title. I think this practice is unfair for the readers and it is the second time this happen to me.