Customer Reviews

Stop Clutter from Stealing Your Life: Discover Why You Clutter and How You Can Stop

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

One of my therapy patients brought this book to my attention. While I am skeptical of self-help books in general, and books on organization especially, she seemed so affected by this one that I bought a copy. I have to admit that I was amazed. This breaks new ground.

My patients have complex issues, ranging from clinical depression to various OCD tendencies. A fairly common symptom among many of them, though, is hoarding or cluttering, as Mr. Nelson defines it. For a layman, he displays a good understanding of the difference, and is able to explain the psychological aspects of this disorder in easy to understand terms. More importantly, he offers real solutions to the root causes of this manifestation of symptoms.

Hoarding affects a very small percentage of the population, but cluttering (a more benign expression of less acute symptoms) is far more common that generally discussed. Because of the shame it causes, those not in therapy do not talk about it. Since the symtoms are not exhibited in public (like alcoholism), people can live their wholes lives without being diagnosed.

Something I often tell my patients is, "You aren't going to clean out your house until you clean out your feelings." Cluttering may be a lifelong tendency, or may start after a traumatic psychological event like a divorce, death, loss of job or other emotional episode. Mr. Nelson echoes this sentiment. I was impressed by his interviews with professionals in the medical community to give his book a solid foundation. Combined with the stories from self-diagnosed clutterers, and the thoughts of professional organizers, he presents a well-rounded picture of a hidden epidemic.

Thankfully, he has done with with a sense of humor that makes it easy reading. This book will elicit strong feelings from the readers, and his humor can keep them from feeling overwhelmed. That he weaves a spiritual view into his advice for recovery, without being preachy, opens an entirely new window of enlightenment.

This is not a book for people who want to "get neat." While there are chapters with practical advice on physically decluttering, they are written as only a real clutterer can appreciate. There are many books on housekeeping and organizing that would better serve someone who doesn't have an emotional attachment to her "stuff." The reader who will benefit from this book has tried and not succeeded in organizing her physical world. She had probably read other books that told her "how to" do it, and those tips had no lasting effect. This book is for those who want to understand the "why" of their cluttering. In my opinion, this is the first step that needs to be taken before the "how-to" can take place.

In conclusion, don't buy this book if just need to arrange your house better. Buy it if you need to arrange your life better.

My cluttering has been a source of friction between me and my husband for years. He is neat. I am not. I am not so bad as to be a hoarder (as explained in the book), but am pretty meessy. I have been to classes on "how to organize your life," tried to practice feng shui (which may work for simply disorganized people, but not for people like me), and even hired an organizer to help me. Nothing worked.

I nearly passed this book over, becasue I've read half a dozen "organizing" books. But when I saw that Ann Richards, former governor of Texas and Lucia Cappachione, a spiritual self-help author I adore, endorsed the book, I took a look.

It is amazing! Mike (and you will feel like you know him personally when you read his book) approached cluttering from an entirely new perspective. He's obviously a clutterer himself who has found a way out. He manages to write with alternating seriousness, insight and much-needed humor. In fact, I found myself laughing out loud at his obviously single man's approach to housecleaning!

We need to change our ways of thinking about the stuff in our lives and improve our spiritual lives to really, permanently, get better. He shows us how.

The chapter on relationships hit home. I was using my clutter as a defense against closeness. I never knew that. By applying the principles he puts forth to my clutter and our relationship, things have already improved. He doesn't promise a miracle cure, or overnight curing, but he does point us on the right road.

If there is one criticism of this book, it is that it is not long enough. Oh, the 200+ pages are packed with information, but I felt that it could go on and on. I just wanted to keep reading. I hope that Mike will write a follow-up workbook. I just love his writing.

Thank you Mike, for writing such a personal and revealing glimpse into the lives of clutterers. You put a lot of yourself into this and it shows. I'll buy any book you write!

Mr. Nelson "gets it." This book is the first book written by a clutterer for clutterers. I own every organizing book on the market and not one spoke to me the way this one does.

Cluttering is not just a problem with having a messy kitchen or closet. For those of us who are clutterers and hoarders, it is a psychological and spiritual blockage that limits our lives and even destroys relationships. Yet, while he treats the subject seriously, his humor shines through like the sunlight of the spirit. The stories of clutters are honest and touching, but you have to laugh at the one who has 27 refrigerators in his yard!

The medical and psychological information, full of quotes from experts in the field, (family counseling and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) is well-written and understandable to a layman. Where the book really shines is in the practical, yet spiritual approach to deluttering our lives and then our living spaces.

Mr. Nelson's practical advice for dealing with debt and bill collectors (which often accompanies cluttering) is priceless. His family relationship chapter will help so many non-clutterers understand how to save their marriages.

Our nonprofit organization, Clutterless Recovery Groups, has recommended this book to all of our members and adopted it as our "Big Book." Kudos, Mr. Nelson, and thank you. You will touch the lives of millions with this book.

I drive a lot on business trips, and this audio CD (actually 3) is a great way to do some self improvement if you are having trouble getting time reading or just want to multi-task while driving. Unlike a lot of audio CDs where the authors have terrible voices, but insist on reading themsleves, they have hired someone here, and I really like his voice. The author is a clutterer himself, and so there is no, "buckle down" type morality statements. Sometimes the Flylady site and the book about Messies take a very religious tone, which I'm not that into. The author discusses a lot of his personal history, as well as other people's, and I was able to gain a lot of insight into cluttering as a specific phenomenon, as opposed to just lacking housekeeping skills or having ADD and not being that into housekeeping or the concept that you are depressed possibly, and don't care about your house. Constantly acquiring things or having an inability to throw things out, really is a specific phenomenon for a lot of people apart from other issues, that needs to be addressed. Since hearing the first 2 CDs a week ago, I have already been energized and able to give up 4 bags to Goodwill. Good luck everyone.

This book was a revelation for me - this guy is a 'recovering' clutterer, if you will, but this book is NOT about 12-stepping, though that is mentioned. It's the first thing I've ever read that reflected a true understanding of the reasons - and I stress the plural "s" there - WHY and HOW clutter can take over your life. He understands the emotional underpinnings of cluttering, and the difficulty of uncluttering even after you've decided it's something you really want to do.

He doesn't try to suggest that there is ONE reason for this, but there are a few that probably do cover most situations. I certainly recognized myself in many of the examples. I also discovered that as awful as I thought my situation was (until I moved recently, I couldn't let almost anyone in my apt, and had pretty much stopped using parts of it at all), it turns out plenty of people who are NOT afflicted with OCD or anything of that level, nevertheless have situations even worse than mine. Regardless of the specifics of each situation, the real thing about the examples was recognizing that other people who seem totally 'normal' in their public lives, can have this awful situation in their home environment, and not know how to fix it. As always, *understanding* is key to beginning the process of healing, and that's what this book offers.

Reading the examples reminded me again how incredibly POWERFUL it is to realize that you're not alone. It's one of the key elements in AA, in Weight Watchers, in women's groups, etc. Just *reading* the book made me feel more able to tackle my clutter and gave me real hope that I can prevent the same problems from happening to my new place, something I'm really afraid could happen all too easily.

I have to mention his chapter on 'okay, let's start decluttering' - I was instantly skeptical - 'here we go, this book is about to turn into all those others' - but I was happy to find it did not. His very straightforward description of what to do is both to the point, and also takes into account the dodges he KNOWS you will immediately think of as a reason not to get rid of things. He is not being Little Mary Sunshine - 'It's really *easy* once you know - just do this!' - but he also doesn't let the difficulties of it be an excuse not to try. He speaks with the empathy and understanding only someone who has had this problem can about how difficult it can be to get rid of things, and he suggests various ways you might get past blocks, recognizing always that different things work for different people.

If you are like me, you've bought lots of books on organizing over the years, and never really been able to implement the suggestions of any of them. I bought this book along with a more practical one that got the most consistently good reviews (Organizing Plain and Simple), and I actually think that after reading this book, I may finally be able to make use of the 'how to' one! I'm also seriously thinking about going to a weekly Clutterers meeting in my area, because it really is best to get support from others who truly understand. My friends are *wonderful* and have been totally supportive of me, but they don't actually understand the problem, not actually having it themselves.

Thanks beyond measure to Mike Nelson for this courageous and helpful book!

This book was one of the few I have bought and actually read cover to cover (versus browsing or skimming) on the subject of clutter. Mike knows first hand what is like to be a clutterer, and how to get to the root of 'why' we do it. He has some practical suggestions, good references for further help, and most importantly a 'lifeline' to throw to fellow clutterers that have struggled for years to get clutter under control. Thank you Mike, I was impressed enough to start a group in my area for mutual support. No one understands a clutterer, like someone that has been there!

I already was trying to declutter my life and this book was just what I needed. It answers the "why?" as well as the "how?" My clutter is not obvious to others, but 25 years of packratted stuff from a bygone marriage lurks in hidden places and I spend way too much time trying to find things.... I also found dozens of small things I had fruitlessly searched for in the past. But the greatest benefit is the good feeling I get when I shove things into the trash or yard sale boxes and then stand there enjoying my nice tidy space. Nelson has provided self-talk which has me questioning why I am holding on to things that I neither need nor like. Magically, similar things start gravitating toward each other in a process of organization. I still have places to unclutter, but I now look forward to what I'm going to rediscover and a feel-good opportunity. Some day I may write my own sequel to this book.

I started reading Stop Clutter From Stealing Your Life: Discover Why You Clutter and How You Can Stop and then it vanished. I have lots more books so I moved on. When it turned up under the seat of my car, I thought I must need to read it, so I did, and I was gratified to find that while I may be a little messy, my issues positively pale in comparison to the stories in this book.

Author Mike Nelson delivers the clutterer's Bible in this volume, which delves into the psychology behind the behavior of cluttering. He's been there: he is a reformed clutterer who now runs an organization called Clutterless Recovery Groups, Inc. Nelson lost jobs and relationships due to his inability to let things go; his personal story is representative of the first-person stories in Chapter 8: CLUTTERERS' STORIES.

Nelson breaks the behavior down into degrees, starting with "mildly disorganized," moving through behavior based on rebellion, fear, and procrastination. He lists the groups of people who value time "too much" to clean up, information junkies, chaos junkies, and on to the hoarders; the last is an actual medical diagnosis. He asserts that clutterers are more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety disorders than ADD. The book contains many references to the psychology of the problem, and while you may not think that will help you to get organized, he states that understanding WHY you clutter is the beginning of change. He began his metamorphosis when he found a self-help group and discovered he was not alone. "Once I realized that my clutter was an outward expression of my inner conflicts or emotions," he writes, "I was able to do something about the problem and not just treat the symptoms by organizing my mess."

If what you want is a simple plan for organizing yourself, you'll find a high-level plan in Chapter 4: 40 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR CLUTTER. These steps -- many are more like affirmations -- are admittedly Zen-like, but they are intended to focus your attitude about your stuff. He advises setting small goals and committing to 15 minutes at a time, until you have taken control of your environment and your life. He gives us the "HIII" rule: how important is it? What's the worst that can happen if I get rid of this?

Stop Clutter devotes several sections to behavior that has a negative impact in the working world, with many practical routes to organizing paper and computer files; again the key is understanding what stands in the way of good habits. Later sections of the book deal with maintenance of the newly clutter-free environment, how to retrieve from a bout of backsliding, and deciding whether a self-help group can help you.

If you just plain hate this kind of theoretical approach to behavior change, this book won't be for you. But if you have an appetite for understanding what makes us behave the way we do, and especially if your surroundings are out of control by a little or a lot, this book could be life-changing. Beautifully organized and presented, it's a five-star book of its type. Get it, read it, commit to its principles -- and take back your life.

Linda Bulger, 2008

My title says it all. There isn't much of a blue print laid out here for you to follow on the path to organizing your life. For the most part, this book seems to beat around the bush by presenting you with a series of actual accounts of clutterers and discussion on why you hoard things and how much better your life would be if you didn't. The author frequently sites his own experience as a reformed pack rat. After reading this book, I felt more pumped up to take action than instructed on how to go about better organizing the different facets of my life. True, motivation is half the battle, but I would have preferred more guidance with the other half.

The other reviewers have pretty much said it all, this book was a turning point for me too. I have been wanting to get the clutter out for years and I finally realized that if I didn't want my sister to come in the house then it was time.

This book gets to your soul and spirit, period, but you have to be ready for it.