He wants the car back with the tank filled before it gets dark. You agree that the important work you have to do at the office can wait until tomorrow. (Yes, there are more accidents after dark and the car is, after all, half his.) Last week he expected you to ditch that girlfriend of yours whom he suspects thinks he's a jerk. You did it. You've always believed that the relationship with him has to come first but lately you've begun to notice that you're eating what he wants to eat, seeing who he wants to see, taking jobs that he thinks are right for you...and gradually losing sight of yourself. How did it all happen? At the heart of a controlling relationship is a deep-seated sense of inadequacy shared by both partners. The controlled person feels gnawing need for approval that leads her to participate in her own manipulation, while a pervasive fear of rejection drives the controller to gain power by exploiting his partner's vulnerabilities. In Stop Controlling Me! psychologist Richard J. Stenack helps readers understand why controlling relationships happen, recognize the strategies that are being used to control them, and learn how to avoid the traps that keep them under control. Stenack encourages readers to discover what kind of relationship they really want and provides exercises to help them uncover mistaken beliefs and their roots, find a personal definition of freedom, identify their self-compromises, and train themselves to stop accepting the unacceptable. Readers who decide that they want to stay in an existing relationship are shown how to conduct an effective joint analysis, negotiate for change, and avoid relapse by recognizing warning signs. Readers who decide to break free by ending their relationship are given step-by-step tools to help them prepare for the process of leaving, make an effective break, and begin to lead a new life free of control.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Informative and Helpful,
By Jesse Smith (USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Stop Controlling Me! What to Do When Someone You Love Has Too Much Power Over You (Paperback)
If you're tired of people pushing your buttons or pulling your strings, this book can help. There are examples of controlling relationships from real people, with the various forces at work clearly explained. Finally, the book helps you apply all this information to your own individual situation. Far more than just theory or discussion, "Stop Controlling Me" is a practical, useable roadmap to better, more honest, and more fulfilling relationships.
5.0 out of 5 stars
great book,
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This review is from: Stop Controlling Me! What to Do When Someone You Love Has Too Much Power Over You (Paperback)
This book does a very good job of defining what it means to be controled by a loved one. I like the fact that the authors first inclination was not to recommend leaving the loved one but to evaluate whether the relationship is worth saving.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
very useful book,
By elham (Encino,CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Stop Controlling Me! What to Do When Someone You Love Has Too Much Power Over You (Paperback)
I found this book really useful. I introduced this book to my family and friends and they agreed that it is a good book.I'd like to thank the authors. I highly recommand this book to everybody.
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