Customer Reviews

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: A Slightly Tarnished Southern Belle's Words of Wisdom

5 star:		(34)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Rarely do books make me chuckle out loud. If you live in the south, or appreciate the differences that makes southern culture unique, you will enjoy this book. Celia Rivenbark divides the book into chapters which discusses the trials and tribulations of life. She has a humorous outlook on life.

The book starts out nicely with describing a trip to Disneyland, and what a bad parent you are if you do not take your child there, buckling under the pressure of taking your child there, and the "fun" that will only happen under the pressure of having fun. Note: Disneyland isn't always fun for everyone.

I love her look on parenting, and the shock and horror of when your child must go from toddler clothes to little girl clothes. As the style of fashion goes from safe designs to where you are having to dress your six year old going on seventeen. It is a shock to the system when you are trying to find clothes that do not make your child look like a street walker. In addition to Disneyland, dressing a six year old girl, she writes about taking a school class to the zoo, the rigors of volunteering for a Halloween festival, and volunteer opportunities that your six year old signed you up for.

This book is extremely enjoyable, and personally I would love to sit down with Celia Rivenbark and have coffee with her. Her book is a delightful look on living in the south, and how one navigates parenthood. I highly recommend this book to those who are wanting to seek out an amusing look into what it is like being a parent in the south.

I mean, who hasn't thought that themselves? As soon as I heard of the title of this book, I knew I had to read it. So when I saw it on the new book shelf at the library I snatched it up. I read, I giggled, I made my partner listen to me read whole pages aloud and we both laughed uncontrollably.

Celia Rivenbark is like your fun sarcastic girlfriend who says things that make you snort milk out of your nose if she catches you at just the right moment. I am a non-heterosexual, childless, transplanted Northerner but I thoroughly enjoyed her thoughts on marriage, child rearing, and Southern living, as well as her unabashed enjoyment of junky TV (sister!) and contemplations of celebrity foibles ("Speaking of aliens, as I write this, Tom Cruise and Katie 'I'm With Crazy' Holmes are expecting a celebrity pod-baby. Yes! The seed has been successfully planted and now is growing and flourishing in the formerly Catholic womb of Ms. Katie.").

Very funny stuff, and a nice light, quick read either all in one gulp like a pint of Haagen-Daz, or rationed out like the package of Oreos you are hiding from the kids. Consider it as a gift for the favorite slacker-mom in your life (as long as you are reasonably sure she ISN'T one of those dressing her 6-year-old like a skank, because that would hurt her feelings, bless her heart...)

In this laugh-out-loud collection of essays, Celia Rivenbark skewers the absurdities that we deal with on a regular basis. Kids, huzzzbands, celebrities, vanity - nothing is sacred. Perhaps what I enjoyed most about the book was the intimate, best friends tone Celia uses coupled with the most fabulous quips and turns of phrase - you can practically hear her delivering them. When you are reading the book, it feels like you're having a delicious gab fest with a dear friend. For example, in describing her daughter's overstuffed school bookbag "I tell you hons, sometimes I expect to pull a live squirrel monkey out of there". I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that comment because it is oh, so true with all the stuff kids bring home!
Clearly, this book has a target audience of southern moms in the 35-50 y.o. age group, but covers enough universal observations to make it enjoyable to a wider audience. Try it. You don't have to eat grits to enjoy it!

I picked up this book based solely on its title, and as a Disney-phile, I was hooked by the first paragraph as I saw how Celia Rivenbark minces no words as she "tells it like it is" about so many things in life. She's not afraid to address the topics that my girlfriends and I sit around and talk about (Krispy Kreme donuts celebrity craziness, and inappropriate clothing selections for the younger set), and she's not afraid to address the ones we don't talk about (like what happens when you're sick at your in-laws).

This book is a quick read, 32 separate chapters that entertain you and, in a weird way, make you think.

Once again Celia Rivenbark has made us laugh out loud. I love the 3rd book by the funniest blond in the South. I will be sure to buy several copies for gifts, and hope to make it to one of your signings. Thank you for sharing your Southern wisdom!

This was one one of the best honestly southern humor books I've ever read. As a 30-year transplant from the world of a military dependent to a southern homeowner/homemaker, I recognized the funny truths and earthy wisdom in everything she said. One doesn't have to be or know a southern woman in order to fully appreciate how delicious this books is, but if you are one of the unfortunate few who don't hold claim to either status, this book will initiate you with grace and laugh out loud good will.

If you want some light reading with good short chapters you can read when you have a few minutes, this is the book for you. While I did not laugh out loud and think this was the funniest book around, I did enjoy it and some of the chapters did make me smile. It was entertaining enough that I would not shy away from reading any of her other books.

I didn't know I got this book on the day of its release, it just jumped out at me, so I bought it. Ha, funny. The cover is what caught my eye; it was a pink-infused backdrop for a little girl with a huge mane of blond hair blow-drying it all out, no doubt in some misguided effort to make herself look about twenty-one. When I read the title a recognition went off in me that it's so true, pre-teen girls do often dress, or ARE dressed, like little porn stars these days. It's an awful trend and a further sign that the re-designing of childhood is really and erosion of what should be the best and most protected years of human life. (If I'd have gone out looking like that back in the day...boom, straight to an Irish nunnery for me.) So that's what drew me to this book, but I went on to read Rivenbark (by the way, that's a neat name) as she doled out essays that showed real understanding of the ridiculousness of our increasingly shallow culture today. Instead of merely carping on what's nutty with contemporary culture in America in the 2000's, she gave us reason to laugh at it and recoil in humorous disdain at all this ridiculousness. Her southern-fried sense of humor can get biting, but it's also tinged with a sweetness that lets us know she's mainly kidding about everything. Whether she's reminding us of the brief pop culture reign of a certain White House intern and knee-pad aficionado, or following the crazed cult of the Hollywood stars, this writer's prose flows along with an easy dexterity that makes its funniness all the more genuine.

It's like Celia Rivenbark can read my mind! Started with "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning" Laughed so hard my husband thought I was crazy. Got on Amazon and ordered two more including this one. Love her books!

I bought this book on a whim after just the title made me shake my head and smile. This is a great book to pick up and read when you don't have alot of time but you need a good pick me up.