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Stop Running from Love: Three Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing and Fear of Intimacy [Kindle Edition]

Dusty Miller
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Are you afraid of or unable to create intimacy or closeness with your intimate partner? Do you find that sometimes you create emotional, communicative, or even physical distance from that special someone in your life, even when, deep down, you really don't want to? If so, you share the relationship style psychologists refer to as the distancer. Distancers are often afraid of being engulfed or controlled by their partners. They fear rejection, vulnerability, and dependence. Sadly, they also tend to have short and unhappy relationships.

If you want to stop running from love in your life, this book offers a simple, step-by-step approach you can use to move beyond your fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships. The exercises and self-evaluations in the book will help you become aware of how you operate in romantic relationships. You'll review and reassess your relationship patterns, deciding what changes you want to make in future relationships. Then you'll commit to actions that can make it happen.

Editorial Reviews


Dusty Miller’s gentle, wise approach to women and men who distance from love offers a unique guide to finding real connection. This breakthough approach will change the lives of men and women who struggle with the challenges of intimacy.
—Terrence Real, director of the Relational Life Institute in Newton, MA, and author of the national best-sellers I Don’t Want to Talk About It and How Can I Get Through to You?, as well as the recently published New Rules of Marriage

Stop Running from Love offers a unique approach to problems of distance in intimate relationships. Miller’s three-step model guides the reader to understand the past in order to revitalize existing relationships, and gently guides women and men to risk deeper connections in all their relationships.
—Stephanie S. Covington, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Leaving the Enchanted Forest and A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps

From the Publisher

Stop Running from Love introduces a five-step plan to help people struggling with a fear of intimacy assess their relationship history and develop an action plan for becoming more present, open, and giving in relationships.

Product Details

  • File Size: 2134 KB
  • Print Length: 226 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications (March 1, 2008)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0045Y27WG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #158,911 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most helpful books I've read March 16, 2009
I've read a TON of relationship/self-awareness books and this one has proved to be the most fun and transformational to date. The book is fun and appeals to many different learning styles through information and different types of exploratory exercises. It takes you through a journey of self discovery that is compassionate towards yourself and aimed at self-awareness of common patterns of distancing, how they were formed, and how you can change them, and yourself. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who might think that they have distanced themselves within their relationships, or to anyone who has been in a relationship with a partner who distances.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars I see the light... June 30, 2008
I am engaged and finding myself acting a little irrationally in a way that is pushing away my fiance...the LAST thing in the world that I want to do. We've been talking and doing what we can to work through 'issues' but still...I couldn't understand my own behavior.

This book clearly shows that I have quite a bit of the 'symptoms' for the defended & distracted models and I'm so relieved that I have a way to acknowledge and work on this.

Awesome and I'll definitely recommend it to others.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Most helpful book on the subject March 18, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
As somebody who has struggled for years with maintaining intimate relationships, I have done endless reading on the subject. More specifically, I have looked into how to engage my fear of engulfment in a productive way. I realized after awhile that although this growing stack of psychology and self-help books helped me to understand my patterns and their root causes, the patterns themselves never changed. Or rather, I didn't know how to change them. The advice that was prescribed always sounded logical, but I kept hitting the same walls. This is the first book which has laid down a set of steps towards a more open, fearless attitude in relationships which I actually believe I can follow. The author takes into account common resistances and pitfalls which people encounter in trying to grow, and she incorporates this into her suggestions. I was really shocked to see that this had not received more positive reviews, and I would highly recommend giving it a chance.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars This gets to the point about intimacy March 5, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I enjoyed the simplicity and the clarity. The only way to fix an intimacy issue is to see it clearly and resolve it with simple strategies. This book allows you to do this easily.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Good read June 2, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
it's one of those books you regret not having read before.
highlights some very common (and neglected, ignored or unacknowledged) relationship-related problems.
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