Stop Running from Love: 3 Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing & Fear of Intimacy [Paperback]

Dusty Miller (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 2008

In a relationship mismatch often observed by couples' therapists, one partner exhibits a fear of or inability to create intimacy or closeness with the other. He or she actively creates emotional, communicative, or even physical distance from his or her partner. Therapists often refer to this individual as a "distancer". Distancers are often afraid of being engulfed or controlled by their partners. They fear rejection, vulnerability, and dependence.This book presents a clear, step-by-step approach distancers can use to move beyond their fear of intimacy and start building strong and lasting relationships. Exercises and self-evaluations in the book help readers become aware of how they operate in romantic relationships. They review and reassess their relationship patterns, deciding what changes they want to make. They then commit to actions that can make it happen. Since distancers often externalize their problems in relationships, transferring blame for relational problems onto their partners, the book works to help them give up the illusion that they can change others. Instead, it shows them how to engage with their partners to create a positive new relationship dynamic.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Dusty Miller’s gentle, wise approach to women and men who distance from love offers a unique guide to finding real connection. This breakthough approach will change the lives of men and women who struggle with the challenges of intimacy.
—Terrence Real, director of the Relational Life Institute in Newton, MA, and author of the national best-sellers I Don’t Want to Talk About It and How Can I Get Through to You?, as well as the recently published New Rules of Marriage

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

From the Publisher

Stop Running from Love introduces a five-step plan to help people struggling with a fear of intimacy assess their relationship history and develop an action plan for becoming more present, open, and giving in relationships.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 213 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications (March 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572245182
• ISBN-13: 978-1572245181
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.8 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #729,005 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most helpful books I've read, March 16, 2009

By 

Lindsey Colvin (Northern California) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Stop Running from Love: 3 Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing & Fear of Intimacy (Paperback)

I've read a TON of relationship/self-awareness books and this one has proved to be the most fun and transformational to date. The book is fun and appeals to many different learning styles through information and different types of exploratory exercises. It takes you through a journey of self discovery that is compassionate towards yourself and aimed at self-awareness of common patterns of distancing, how they were formed, and how you can change them, and yourself. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who might think that they have distanced themselves within their relationships, or to anyone who has been in a relationship with a partner who distances.

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I see the light..., June 30, 2008

By 

Kristin Bennett "Kimby" (SEATTLE!!) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Stop Running from Love: 3 Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing & Fear of Intimacy (Paperback)

I am engaged and finding myself acting a little irrationally in a way that is pushing away my fiance...the LAST thing in the world that I want to do. We've been talking and doing what we can to work through 'issues' but still...I couldn't understand my own behavior.

This book clearly shows that I have quite a bit of the 'symptoms' for the defended & distracted models and I'm so relieved that I have a way to acknowledge and work on this.

Awesome and I'll definitely recommend it to others.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Lowest Common Denominator, September 15, 2011

By 

Mandy "mandy" (San Rafael, CA, United States) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Stop Running from Love: Three Steps to Overcoming Emotional Distancing and Fear of Intimacy (Kindle Edition)

Kind of interesting...for about 10 minutes. This is a book that could as easily have been a quiz in Cosmo with the generic advice doled out according to your score. Not written for anyone on the right side of the bell curve intellectually.