Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching : A 5 Step Guide to Creative Complaining [Paperback]

Barbara Held Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1999

Are you sick of being told "Smile-look on the bright side"? Do you feel guilty when you admit you're having a bad day?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are a victim of the "don't worry, be happy" mentality that is pervading America. Dr. Held, convinced that having to smile through life's problems only adds insult to injury, is here to tell you that you have the right, the need, to kvetch! As she walks you through the five steps of creative kvetching, Dr. Held will show you that the right kind of complaining can help you to feel better and attract others to you instead of driving them away. So get ready to take off your smiley face and be liberated from the "tyranny of the positive attitude."

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

Review

I thoroughly agree with the principle of creative kvetching. Submissive suffering is self destructive. . . . If people kvetched they'd feel better. -- Bernie Siegel, MD, author of Love, Medicine & Miracles; Prescriptions For Living. April, 2000

In Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching, Barbara Held's genuine humor with a practical and unique approach to self-help is based on the premise that having to act happy (or worse, actually be happy) when the harsh realities of life descend upon us is to add insult to injury. Rather, the trick to true happiness under trying circumstances is to know how to complain (kvetch) properly, so that we attract others, including their assistance and resources, rather than repel them. . . . Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching is the ideal antidote to all those other saccharine and submissive self-help books. -- Michael J. Carson, Midwest Book Review, October, 1999

The author contends that other self-help books with their message that you have to act happy and be happy all the time are often just a guilt trip that ignores the fact that we often encounter things worth complaining about. She does so with refreshing humor and I think this book will prove helpful to those too timid to complain when they should. -- Alan Caruba, Bookviews, October, 1999

About the Author

Barbara Held, Ph. D., is a licensed psychologist and Professor of Psychology at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine. Dr. Held has practiced psychotherapy for many years and is the author of many professional publications about psychotherapy, including the book Back to Reality: A Critique of Postmodern Theory in Psychotherapy (W. W. Norton, 1995). Although she began her life as a native New Yorker, she now lives with her husband in Maine.

Product Details

• Paperback: 151 pages
• Publisher: Audenreed Pr (September 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 187941869X
• ISBN-13: 978-1879418691
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 8.5 x 5.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,111,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Constructive Expression of Emotional Pain, November 3, 2002

By 

A Psychologist (The East Coast, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaining (Paperback)

As a psychologist who practices psychotherapy, I am always looking for self-help books that really work. In my experience, "Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching" really works. I have loaned this book to all kinds of patients, from ones who are so afraid to express their emotional pain that they end up miserable and alone, to those who vent so indiscriminantly that they alienate others and also end up miserable and alone. The five steps--and the humorous stories that illustrate them--have helped both types of people, but I am particularly impressed by how much this book has helped the over-complainers learn to tone down their complaining, which has improved their relationships with others. I recommend this book both to those who suffer alone in their silence and to those who have relational problems because of their over-complaining.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Triple Play for Positive Pessimism -- Happy 2003 !!, December 20, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaining (Paperback)

Not being an optimist by nature or upbringing, my life is all about the positive power of negative thinking -- so I was happy when Dr. Held taught me to overcome being kvetching challenged. Right now, facing 2003, I rely on my 3 favorite books to keep me sane. The other 2 are 'The Positive Power of Negative Thinking' and 'How to be Happy, Dammit' -- all 3 help me to harness the positive energy of negativity. These 3 books make up my personal triple play for dealing constructively with anxiety, worry, irritation, and negative moods. So my new year's resolution is to make the most of who I am and how I deal with the world around me.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help for Both Complainers and NonComplainers, October 3, 2001

By 

G. Chandler (Portland, Maine) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching: A 5-Step Guide to Creative Complaining (Paperback)

This wonderful little book is great for two groups of people: those who don't express or vent their pain when they need to, and those who complain too much and drive me nuts. Dr. Held gives the first group (the noncomplainers) permission and support to complain or vent to release their pain. She also gives rules for how to complain without driving people away. These rules are particularly helpful to the second group (the people who complain too much). The humor helps both groups relax and take in the unusual but serious and very helpful message. I'm giving this book to friends in both groups.