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Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counterintuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life, with a foreword by Martha Mendoza Kindle Edition

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Length: 257 pages Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled

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Editorial Reviews


"Stop Talking, Start Communicating addresses one of the biggest challenges we all face--effectively maintaining a thoughtful and human touch in our interactions in the face of the tremendous amounts of data and words that bombard us daily. Stop Talking, Start Communicating is an indispensable guide for better communication, improved collaboration, and the kinds of productive connections that can make our work and home lives more meaningful and fulfilling." 
-Ken C. Hicks, President, CEO, and Chairman of the Board, Foot Locker

"Only Geoffrey Tumlin could write a book about a serious problem--our mounting communication deficiencies--and make me laugh and learn all the way through it. Witty, smart, and 100 percent accurate, Stop Talking, Start Communicating points the way to a better conversational future."
-Tina Morris, managing director at Standard & Poor's

"This is an important topic, and the book covers it in an easygoing manner, with lots of communication tips, including dealing with difficult people and conflict."
-Harvey Schachter reviewed the book in the Careers section of today's Globe and Mail Report on Business 

"Geoffrey Tumlin presents the solutions we need to significantly improve our work and home interactions." 
-James V. Kimsey, founding CEO and chairman emeritus of America Online, Inc.

"Essential reading for executives, aspiring managers, and anyone else who wants smart, workable strategies for better communication in the digital age." 
-Marshall N. Carter, former chairman and CEO State Street Bank and Trust Company

About the Author

Geoffrey Tumlin is CEO of Mouthpeace Consulting LLC, a communication consulting company, and president of On-Demand Leadership, a leadership development company. A portion of the author's royalties will be donated to Critical Skills Nonprofit, a 501(c)(3) public charity founded by the author to provide communication and leadership skills training to chronically underserved populations.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1323 KB
  • Print Length: 257 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1 edition (July 19, 2013)
  • Publication Date: July 19, 2013
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00D86G0WA
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #271,798 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

Back in the 1970s and 1980s, when you could wait at the airport gate for passengers, I loved sitting in the terminal and listening to people talk. It was at the airport as a boy that I learned one of my first communication lessons: what people say to each other doesn't always make sense, but that doesn't stop them from talking anyway.

The second lesson I learned in the terminal was that people communicate in a wide variety of styles. Each person my family received at the airport had a unique way of interacting. My thoughtful grandmother was different from my exuberant uncle who was different again from my eccentric cousin. It dawned on me that I probably shouldn't talk to everyone the same way if I wanted to forge unique relationships with them. So I started experimenting with my own communication and paying attention to the results.

I had no idea, back then, that my affinity for thinking deeply about conversations and my willingness to experiment with communication and track the results would become the cornerstones of my professional life. But that's essentially what I do as a consultant: I listen closely as people describe problems, I formulate changes, and then I see what happens when the change hits the problem.

Finally, I believe that communication is more than just something we do; communication is how we make our life. Another way of saying this is: Good communication = good relationships = good life.

And that's the third lesson I learned as a boy in the airport.

My background:

* CEO of Mouthpeace Consulting LLC, President of On-Demand Leadership, and Board Chair of Critical Skills Nonprofit.
* PhD and MA in communication from the University of Texas at Austin. BS from West Point.
* Formerly a faculty fellow at the University of Texas at Austin's RGK Center & a Cátedras Laboris fellow at University of Monterrey, Mexico.
* I teach and consult widely throughout North America; my writing has appeared in journals, textbooks, newspapers, and online.
* My dissertation title: Communicating negative feedback in performance appraisal interviews: An experimental study.
* I served as the Assistant Director of the Center for Ethical Leadership at the University of Texas at Austin after I got my PhD. I served as an infantry officer in Hawaii's 25th Infantry Division after I graduated from West Point.
*Somehow, I managed to graduate from the US Army's Ranger School, even though I get lost all the time.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Illyria on July 30, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
Although I'm someone who is rarely at a loss for words, I'm a little timid about reviewing this book, for two reasons:

1. The book itself is about the importance of meaningful communication in an age where easy communication seems to rule. Amazon reviews seem somewhere in between meaningful and easy. I feel like a dog between two mangers.
2. Life-changing, paradigm-shifting books don't come along that often, and for me this book was both. I worry I'm not going to be able to do it justice, that I'll either be so glowing no one will believe me, or I'll damn with faint praise.

The truth is that Geoffrey Tumlin has analyzed, pondered, studied, and codified what I believe is perhaps the greatest challenge to our essential humanity: we're all talking so much we're not just forgetting how to listen, we're forgetting what the point of talking even is. We're so caught up in what Tumlin calls "hypercommunication" that we no longer appear to value thinking, and the result leaves us feeling as unsatisfied as it does stressed--enslaved to our phones, our tablets, our laptops, but still isolated, and increasingly ineffective.

Stop Talking, Start Communicating is an insightful, compassionate manual for putting meaning back into the human exchange of words. It goes beyond "no cell phones at the dinner table" to remind you that just because the human mind can invent this technology doesn't mean the human mind can actually keep pace with it. Our brains have limitations, as do our relationships, and it's not only okay to understand and accept those limitations, it's vital.

Much of Tumlin's advice will seem not just counterintuitive, but by some standards, harsh (Rate my relationships in order of importance? Are you serious?
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By doctormom on August 29, 2013
Format: Paperback
As a mother, wife, and working professional, I tend to be extremely selective with my book choices. If a non-fiction book is not going to teach me something new and important, hold my attention, and communicate information in an effective and efficient manner, then I'll stop reading. Stop Talking Start Communicating met all my requirements, and more! This book is a game-changer, and a useful tool for everyone. Unless you are living alone in a cave without an internet connection, then you need this book. I have already successfully implemented several of Geoff's strategies in my personal and professional relationships. They truly are applicable to ALL relationships. I wish I could go back in time and give this book to my 20-year-old self. But only my current self could appreciate Geoff's tenets regarding the value of communicating in a world where digital "conversations" are all but eliminating face-to-face interchanges. A sobering and very necessary wake-up call!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By fitz on September 9, 2013
Format: Paperback
Just finished this book last night and must say it's life altering. For starters, "Connectivity doesn't equal communication." Just b/c we have the ability to connect with others and even sometimes engage verbally, it doesn't necessarily mean communication has taken place. Listen with intention and speak with purpose. Those are key points I take away from this book to remember. Otherwise, it's easy to alienate others as well as self in this ever rapidly changing world of telecom. I liked his analogy of the village idiot in former times having the ability to get up and move to a new village when s/he'd been an idiot; how that ability to start over has seriously diminished in our cyber world. Being mindful of our discourse is even more vital now. I'd not really considered that, but it's true.

I also liked his points about pausing when we find ourselves digging further into a hole when good old 'foot in mouth' disease flares up (I've had that all my life.) Most people have the tendency to keep talking and that's the exact opposite of the remedy. Humor was an excellent example of when we bomb and need to just breath before continuing down an already deliriously delusional path. It's easy to say and perhaps even write, but implementing it in action takes a great deal of effort. It seems worth it, though, in the long haul for preserving civility in relationships.

I definitely appreciated his unstated goal of returning civility to conversations/communication. We certainly can have the tendency to devolve more and more into this 'Neanderthal' mentality with rapid connection technology that he referenced several times. His usage of the word civility throughout his book really caused me to ponder.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Gail on August 4, 2013
Format: Paperback
Wow! After having read the previous review, I feel that anything I say cannot compare. I very seldom pick up a book that tends to remind me of school texts, but having met Geoff Tumlin, I was very curious. Stop Talking Start Communicating is interesting and entertaining right from the start. I have already benefitted from the portion of the book that I have read so far. This book can be referred to for my every day life and can be used by professionals in their business life.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Ryan Avery on October 17, 2013
Format: Paperback
As someone who teaches communication for a living, this book is by far one of the best books I have read when giving communication strategies to improve your professional and personal life. I will recommend this book to anyone who is interested in advancing in their career! It is written so you can digest the information and filled with countless stories and tips to make us better communicators!
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