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Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counterintuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life, with a foreword by Martha Mendoza Paperback – August 13, 2013

4.7 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Stop Talking, Start Communicating addresses one of the biggest challenges we all face--effectively maintaining a thoughtful and human touch in our interactions in the face of the tremendous amounts of data and words that bombard us daily. Stop Talking, Start Communicating is an indispensable guide for better communication, improved collaboration, and the kinds of productive connections that can make our work and home lives more meaningful and fulfilling." 
-Ken C. Hicks, President, CEO, and Chairman of the Board, Foot Locker

"Only Geoffrey Tumlin could write a book about a serious problem--our mounting communication deficiencies--and make me laugh and learn all the way through it. Witty, smart, and 100 percent accurate, Stop Talking, Start Communicating points the way to a better conversational future."
-Tina Morris, managing director at Standard & Poor's

"This is an important topic, and the book covers it in an easygoing manner, with lots of communication tips, including dealing with difficult people and conflict."
-The Globe and Mail

"Geoffrey Tumlin presents the solutions we need to significantly improve our work and home interactions." 
-James V. Kimsey, founding CEO and chairman emeritus of America Online, Inc.


"Essential reading for executives, aspiring managers, and anyone else who wants smart, workable strategies for better communication in the digital age." 
-Marshall N. Carter, former chairman and CEO State Street Bank and Trust Company

About the Author

Geoffrey Tumlin is CEO of Mouthpeace Consulting LLC, a communication consulting company, and president of On-Demand Leadership, a leadership development company. A portion of the author's royalties will be donated to Critical Skills Nonprofit, a 501(c)(3) public charity founded by the author to provide communication and leadership skills training to chronically underserved populations.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1 edition (August 13, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071813047
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071813044
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #631,706 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition
Although I'm someone who is rarely at a loss for words, I'm a little timid about reviewing this book, for two reasons:

1. The book itself is about the importance of meaningful communication in an age where easy communication seems to rule. Amazon reviews seem somewhere in between meaningful and easy. I feel like a dog between two mangers.
2. Life-changing, paradigm-shifting books don't come along that often, and for me this book was both. I worry I'm not going to be able to do it justice, that I'll either be so glowing no one will believe me, or I'll damn with faint praise.

The truth is that Geoffrey Tumlin has analyzed, pondered, studied, and codified what I believe is perhaps the greatest challenge to our essential humanity: we're all talking so much we're not just forgetting how to listen, we're forgetting what the point of talking even is. We're so caught up in what Tumlin calls "hypercommunication" that we no longer appear to value thinking, and the result leaves us feeling as unsatisfied as it does stressed--enslaved to our phones, our tablets, our laptops, but still isolated, and increasingly ineffective.

Stop Talking, Start Communicating is an insightful, compassionate manual for putting meaning back into the human exchange of words. It goes beyond "no cell phones at the dinner table" to remind you that just because the human mind can invent this technology doesn't mean the human mind can actually keep pace with it. Our brains have limitations, as do our relationships, and it's not only okay to understand and accept those limitations, it's vital.

Much of Tumlin's advice will seem not just counterintuitive, but by some standards, harsh (Rate my relationships in order of importance? Are you serious?
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Format: Paperback
As a mother, wife, and working professional, I tend to be extremely selective with my book choices. If a non-fiction book is not going to teach me something new and important, hold my attention, and communicate information in an effective and efficient manner, then I'll stop reading. Stop Talking Start Communicating met all my requirements, and more! This book is a game-changer, and a useful tool for everyone. Unless you are living alone in a cave without an internet connection, then you need this book. I have already successfully implemented several of Geoff's strategies in my personal and professional relationships. They truly are applicable to ALL relationships. I wish I could go back in time and give this book to my 20-year-old self. But only my current self could appreciate Geoff's tenets regarding the value of communicating in a world where digital "conversations" are all but eliminating face-to-face interchanges. A sobering and very necessary wake-up call!
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Format: Paperback
Just finished this book last night and must say it's life altering. For starters, "Connectivity doesn't equal communication." Just b/c we have the ability to connect with others and even sometimes engage verbally, it doesn't necessarily mean communication has taken place. Listen with intention and speak with purpose. Those are key points I take away from this book to remember. Otherwise, it's easy to alienate others as well as self in this ever rapidly changing world of telecom. I liked his analogy of the village idiot in former times having the ability to get up and move to a new village when s/he'd been an idiot; how that ability to start over has seriously diminished in our cyber world. Being mindful of our discourse is even more vital now. I'd not really considered that, but it's true.

I also liked his points about pausing when we find ourselves digging further into a hole when good old 'foot in mouth' disease flares up (I've had that all my life.) Most people have the tendency to keep talking and that's the exact opposite of the remedy. Humor was an excellent example of when we bomb and need to just breath before continuing down an already deliriously delusional path. It's easy to say and perhaps even write, but implementing it in action takes a great deal of effort. It seems worth it, though, in the long haul for preserving civility in relationships.

I definitely appreciated his unstated goal of returning civility to conversations/communication. We certainly can have the tendency to devolve more and more into this 'Neanderthal' mentality with rapid connection technology that he referenced several times. His usage of the word civility throughout his book really caused me to ponder.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I picked this book (along with several other nonfiction books) to read on my Kindle on my flight to California from Pennsylvania and back. I was not disappointed. The author's points are deceptively simple. Yet his presentation leaves you thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?" More importantly, each point is accompanied by practical steps to implement the strategy and stories to drive the point home. I also liked the footnotes with valuable references and, even better, suggestions for further reading. The latter could have been improved by a descriptive comment about each book and why it was being suggested. Another surprise at the end of the book is a very well done index which partially saves the one defect with the book: a summary of the concepts and acronyms used very effectively throughout the book. At least you know where to find them. At least a bullet-point summary at the end of each chapter or a list at the end of the book would make it even more useful than it already is. This one is a keeper on the reference shelf.
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