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241 Reviews
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1,041 of 1,088 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A SINGULAR, INDISPENSABLE, LIFE-SAVING CONTRIBUTION ON BPD
I don't know how Randi Kreger and Paul Mason did it, but they have made a singular contribution to the world with their web site and with the publication of this life-saving book. Please allow me to post this from the book for anyone looking for help in or out of a bad situation right now:
Predictable Stages: People who love someone with BPD seem to go through...
Published on August 24, 1998

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698 of 748 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Like a Stab in the Heart
This book does provide useful information identifying traits, symptoms and behaviour of the BPD person and this is useful in understanding why they are behaving the way they do. If you are close to a BPD person it is worthwhile discovering that you are not going crazy for finding the ridiculous dramas and scenarios with the BPD confusing and distressing...
Published on October 18, 2004 by Violetta


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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read, August 28, 2005
By 
K. Ansley (IA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
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This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
If you are dealing with any one with BPD, this is a must read book for yourself. This book is for the caregiver and how best to handle the problems of borderlines. If nothing else, you will know after reading this book that the feelings and thoughts that you have been having all along are not signs of craziness in yourself. But rather a sane "self" dealing with a mental illness in another.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Saved me as a person, May 12, 2007
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
For over three years I allowed my BPD partner to change the person I was; she objected to me whistling, walking to loud on the floor, flew into a rage if a steak knife was in the wrong place, etc. The slightest thing would set her off. I thought that it was me. The harder I tried, the more demanding and irrational she became. The book helped me understand many of the things I was having to deal with; it wasn't me, it was simply about her and inability and unwillingness to deal with her BPD. It allowed me to reclaim myself. I'm now in the process of recaliming my life.

GAW
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful, January 11, 2007
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This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
I found this book to be very enlightening. My daughter has not been diagnosed with BPD but shows some symptoms of it so her psychiatrist recommended we read it. Since it also gives you tips on how to deal with BPDs, it was really helpful. I'd recommend it to anyone who has a friend or relative with BPD for compassionate understanding of the disorder but also tips on how to manage your own life.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Stop Walking on Eggshells, January 3, 2007
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
An absolute must if you find yourself in a relationship where many things can set your partner off. NEVER walk on eggshells around a person like this because that makes them even worse. And there are ways to help them. I thank the author for writing this book. I am a therapist and I learned from it and have passed it on to clients. Also don't miss titles by William Eddy, who is a friend of this author and who writes similar books, esp. for those getting divorced from a high conflict personality.
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17 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Brilliant Book!, June 24, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
I never submitted a review for "Stop Walking On Eggshells" before because I felt there was nothing to add to all the other five star, positive reviews. How many ways can you say, "This book saved my life" or "The best book on living with someone with BPD"? Besides, I thought, many of the positive reviews here from qualified therapists spoke volumes more than anything this lay person in search some relief from a topsy-turvy relationship could say.
So imagine my surprise when I came to this page to buy a copy of "Stop Walking On Eggshells" for my sister and saw a vitriolic one star review. Compared to the other reviews, this one was so out of whack that you have to wonder if the reviewer's mental health follows suit. The fact that the reviewer, on the one hand, portrays the "psychological community" as saying very little that is positive about the borderline and goes on to claim to having "clients" harmed by the diagnosis leads one to wonder just what kind of "clinical practice" the reviewer means.
It is the last line I found telling. "...I hardly see how this book is truly helpful or humane to either [the borderline and 'non-bp']". If there is anything that can be gleamed from "Stop Walking On Eggshells", it is the even handed, sympathetic treatment towards both those diagnosed with BPD and those involved with borderlines. As one reviewer so aptly put it, the book lets "the sufferers of this illness be known as persons with damaged internal vulnerability that often can't be articulated, just acted out or in by the individual". Or, as another reviewer wrote, "It is important to remember that borderlines are not bad people and they do not set out to hurt the very ones we love, but rather their cognitive distortions and chaotic behavior of course hurt those around them severely". Those with BPD have a myriad of emotions and qualities, from happiness to sadness, from high function to low function, and the book does an excellent job of pointing out what is "positive about the borderline". What book did this particular reviewer read?
If I were the authors of this book, upon reading this review, I would respond as did the great composer Max Reger: " I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment, it will be behind me." Then again, I am not as sympathetic as the authors.
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170 of 229 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Save your money and your mind, June 7, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
If you grew up with someone who has BPD, then you are already familiar with the content of this book: yes, Borderline behavior is abusive and crazy-making, but the poor Borderline, he/she can't help it, so twist yourself into a pretzel in order not to trigger them or upset them in any way. Otherwise, they may retaliate in a vindictive, manipulative, or vengeful way. Really? I read this book thinking it would at least give some support to the non-BPD in his/her efforts to maintain a sense of self and sanity in the face of Borderline behaviors. Instead, it asked Borderlines what they thought non-BPD's should do in the face of the Borderlines inappropriate, inexplicable rages. Be good now and don't upset the Borderline, who can't help it. The Borderline's world is painful (as if everyone around the Borderline doesn't routinely pay the price for that), so try to understand. No, the Borderline doesn't need to understand, because Borderlines are like children and can't be expected to behave in any kind of responsible way. It's about their survival, so deal with it. Oh please! As if no one else has survival or abandonment issues. BPD is not a mental illness along the lines of Manic-Depression, it's a PERSONALITY DISORDER.
Sociopathy is also a personality disorder, but no one writes books about how we should all coddle and try to understand the poor sociopaths in our lives. If you suffer because of a Borderline's actions, you will suffer more from the underlying message of this book: a Borderline is in pain, so whatever he/she does must be understood and on some level (or all levels) excused. Borderline behavior (manipulation, lying, pitting people against one another, suicidal gestures, unpredictable, intense rages, etc.) is abusive and destructive to everyone around him/her. The fact that the people around him/her are expected to put up with it because it's motivated by fear or shame only speaks to the amazing ability of the Borderline to turn the tables and make a situation sound like something it's not. You do not ask someone with Anti-social Personality Disorder how you can avoid provoking his anger. It's understood that the problem is with him, not you. Why is this not clear with BPD? Unfortunately, this book can only be added to the long list of self-serving, irresponsible pop psychology books about Borderlines. Save your money, save yourself.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A thoughtful enterprise requiring an update, January 14, 2012
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I originally read this book when it was new and have just completed reading it again in order to decide if I was going to include it in a class reading list for a Personality course. The authors thought that this text would be informative to family members dealing with those who have the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. It came close to this ten years ago. Now it requries a rewrite. The latest in new therapies is missing. Additionally,it requires some familiarity with the DSM. At the time of the initial publication DSM 4 was used to explain the diagnostic syndrome.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Living with a BPD is different then reading about them..., June 26, 2004
By 
Garrett E. Johnson "garrett_johnson" (Stockton, California United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
Living with a BPD is different then reading about them, but not in this book. I consulted with "experts" about my former spouse who has BPD their impressions are MUCH different then the actual experience. When seeking counseling I was blamed for her outrageous behavior, as anyone who has lived with a BPD they begin their formation at very early ages. The book was surprising in the honestly from those recovering from BPD. While married to a BPD I heard the "real story" behind many of the events of her childhood (from her) those events were never discussed as honestly in front of counselors. This book was both illuminating and liberating to finally hear groups of people echoing my own experiences. Even the frank quotations read like a script of my marriage it left me feeling like the problem was so thoroughly understood that it left me no more question in my mind about my own sanity. If someone you love has ever threatened to kill themselves, cut themselves, if you have had a conversation with that person and felt like "was I really there when we talked about this?", or if you have been arrested 3-4 times without knowing why until the court date, you really need to buy this book.
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book - True content, July 8, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
I am coming from a marriage with an BDP wife. Being between Hell and Heaven. It feels good to understand what happend. What for a relieve. Buy this book, if you suspect that you are involved in any way with an BDP. You will understand.
Thank you helping all of us.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Informative!, March 9, 2002
By 
This review is from: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Paperback)
This book helped me to understand and deal with my childs BPD. The only reason I didnt give it a 5 star review is because most of the personal stories were about couples relationships. I would have liked it better if it focused more on the teenagers conflicts with parents.
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