Customer Reviews

The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Strategies for Living with Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

It is rare for me to read a book that in seemingly every page
is an "a-ha" realization...the proverbial "lightbulb effect". I would guess that those who have been trying to cope with or
understand the bizarre behaviors of their borderline loved one will have a similar reaction in reading this book. I commend the authors for their diligent research into Borderline Personality Disorder and their accurate assessment of this serious disorder. With knowledge and understanding of BPD comes COMPASSION for what the borderline is unknowingly going through. It is true that no one can "make" another person happy. The borderlne still has to take responsibility for their own behaviors instead of blaming others for their unhappiness. This book is invaluable to begin the road to healing. There are two other books that I would suggest as companions to this one as they deal directly with the core of BPD- dysfunctional thinking (thoughts), "You Can Be Happy No Matter What", and/or, "You Can Feel Good Again", both by Richard Carlson.
I wish you the best!

Most non-borderlines who have a borderline in their lives are well aware of Randi Kreger's and Paul Mason's, M.S., blockbuster, eye-opening, incredible, best-seller *Stop Walking on Eggshells*, '98. This excellent workbook comes now in 2002 by Randi Kreger and James Paul Shirley, M.S.W., as a complement, supplement and added bonus. The workbook, *The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook: Practical Stragegies for Living With Someone Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder* is a very helpful extension of that outstanding book *Stop Walking On Eggshells*.

The workbook is loaded with probing questions, exercises, action steps and 'self-tests'.

The confusing dialogue that a non-borderline has with a person with Borderline Personality Disorder is explained here, sorted out and understood more in this dynamic workbook. The workbook presents a commitment and the action steps and skills to work in helping to set boundaries.

I urge the reader to use the workbook (SWOEW) in tandem with *Stop Walking On Eggshells*, (SWOE), even though there is some similar overlapping material in both books, SWOE, the book, is geared toward helping the reader understand what Borderline Personality Disorder is and the workbook (SWOEW) is geared to what to do about it, how to use some coping skills and to apply the strategies.

Like *Stop Walking On Eggshells*, this workbook deserves many more stars than five. Combined, the two are as close as you can get to having the most complete information on Borderline Personality Disorder there is available. The combination is significantly better than just using either one alone.

Rita Closson, M.A., Social Psychologist

A tremendous resouce for anyone involved with borderline or other disorders. I can't say enough about this book. It will change your life in ways you never thought possible. I was able to regain my dignity, self esteem and take steps to put me in control of a situation I thought hopeless. Both books, Stop Walking on Eggshells and the Workbook are at the top of the list of the books we recommend at MSN Psychopath forum. There should be a 10-star rating for this one!!
Darla B.

This book may be an excellent resource for many people in a relationship with someone who has BPD - but it wasn't very helpful for me. BPD is a disorder with many variations (a person only needs to meet five out of nine criteria to be diagnosed), and although the authors do a good job of outlining the different types of BPD in the first couple of chapters, all their advice seems focused on borderlines who rage, are abusive and manipulative. I found little in this book to help me cope with my girlfriend's self-injury, suicide attempts, clinginess and dissociation.

I have two other reservations about the Stop Walking on Eggshells books. The first is that they seem to encourage the worrying trend of people "diagnosing" their loved ones with mental illnesses - something only a mental health professional is qualified to do. Kreger claims to be the ex-partner of someone with BPD, yet her ex has never been diagnosed with the condition - she just suspects he may have it. Secondly, the books are very negative about people with BPD, seeming to assume that they never admit they have a problem, try to seek help, or work on their issues. From participating in online communities, I know many people with BPD who not only do all these things but are making tremendous progress, and in some cases have even recovered. I understand the importance of accepting that your BPD friend or family member may never change, but please don't tar all borderlines with the same brush!

Before buying this book, I suggest reading the back cover of its sister volume, "Stop Walking on Eggshells". If the description there sounds like your relationship, you'll probably gain a lot from reading this book. If not, look elsewhere. A book I found far more helpful was "Allies in Healing" by Laura Davis.

Kreger and Shirley's book lives up to its title. This book is so good that it can be used by itself. In addition, I strongly recommend Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem by Roth and Friedman.

Sincerely,

John

I HIGHLY recommend this workbook and its companion book of the same name. It is a MUST for anyone who has to deal with BPD. The workbook provides you with wonderful, easy to follow tools that will help you maintain your sanity when dealing with the BPD in your life. It also helps you to understand that it is not "you" and provides valuable insight into why BPDs act the way they do.

Most importantly it makes you realize that there is NOTHING you can do to change a person with BPD, BUT you can educate yourself and learn how to use the book's tools to effectively communicate with a BPD and not get "sucked" in to their chaotic life!!

I helped my husband practice the techniques in the book prior to a mediation session and while the first three meetings consisted of talking in circles, the last meeting was "successful." No, the techniques didn't make the BPD stop mirroring or projecting her actions onto him and didn't stop her from lying and playing the constant "victim", but my husband did maintain his composure and actually got a few things accomplished - and anyone who deals with BPD knows that to accomplish anything is a major success, no matter how small the accomplishment!!

It is truly amazing, if you practice and REMEMBER what you learn, you can help make what previously felt like a hopeless situation, a little more bearable.

this book has proven to be an excellent resource for family members and co-workers who have expressed some frustrations in their relationships with individuals with BPD. it provides helpful background information to help people understand the problem and conceptualize it. it provides realistic exercises and suggested approaches that usually seem to be very helpful in relating with individuals with BPD. if one book to provide, i prefer this book over the other eggshell book in that it is better received, more understandable, and more useful. some patients' loved ones take it and hide it for a while as they begin reading it. almost all find that eventually it is most effective when there is real cooperation between partners on learning new, more effective ways of relating. i've given out at least one dozen copies of this book and it is very popular. i believe it is well worth the price, new, given the tools and hope that it can provide.

I searched many resources looking for what could have possibly been wrong with my ex. This book was amazing. As I read it, I realized that it was exactly my situation.
This is a great book, easy to read and right to the point. It will open doors you didn't know were there.

This book, and these authors, have done more to help the families and loved-ones of a person with BPD than any other group or organization to date. (Ok....I realize that there are other wonderful resources out there...but Randi Kreager started a revolution with her online resources.)

This disorder is simply a bitch to have and a bitch to deal with. As a professional I work so well with BPD that I wind up with a lot of them. I work well with them because I intuitively know how to but I can never put what I do in words.

How I help THEM I can write about but how I deal with them myself is just done without thinking and so I can't write about it.

This book does that very well and it is something that anyone who is choosing to try to "work it out" with a BPD person really MUST HAVE. Period. Period. Period.