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Stop! You're Driving Me Crazy Mass Market Paperback – June 1, 1990


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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback
  • Publisher: Berkley (November 15, 1985)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425091457
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425091456
  • Product Dimensions: 7 x 1 x 5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #961,497 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
5 star
73%
4 star
27%
3 star
0%
2 star
0%
1 star
0%
See all 15 customer reviews
This is the best self-help book I've ever read.
Barbara Hall
I read this book 30 years ago, borrowed from a friend, and since then I have ordered copies and gifted them to others numerous times.
Janet Finley
Full of stories and packed full with logic and reasoning.
Stotaglio

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 11, 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
For years I have observed the characteristics of successful, long-term relationships. The one trait that seems to cut across all of these was the ability to tell a partner your feelings and desires, whether trivial or radical, in a clear and nonthreatening way.
Despite the fact that I've been told professionally that I am an excellent communicator, this book helped me realize that in intimate relationships I still play the "crazymaking" game of confusing coded and conflicting messages.
The book's examples showed how confusing coded and double messages exist in most relationships, why they are there, and what to do about them. It's especially relevant for couples in which one partner is passive-aggressive, though useful for nearly any couple who wants to improve their effectiveness at talking to one another.
The only reason I didn't give this book 5 *s is because there are several places where the authors wander off into theoretical space that won't mean a lot to anyone without a psychology degree. If you skip over those parts to the next example, you'll find this book fast and easy reading.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Adam Khan VINE VOICE on January 5, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This is the clearest description of how people (especially couples) get into the tangled web of resentments and withholds so common in a marriage and how to get out of the tangle. It is profusely sprinkled with examples of dialog, which not only makes the book easier to read, but makes the principles crystal clear.
The first part of the book clarifies exactly what the problem is. The second part of the book spells out what you can do about it. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, and much of what I've learned that really matters about communication can be traced back to this book. It is a shame it is out of print, but if you can find a copy, buy it!
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Adam Khan VINE VOICE on December 12, 1998
Format: Hardcover
...then this is the book for you.
People have a tendency to hide their true wants and feelings in order to be nice and get along better with others. When this is done in a close relationship, it can cause an extremely frustrating pattern that drives you both crazy.
This book clearly illustrates how this communication pattern works, what it is, and what you can do about it. The book is full of examples. When you read them, you'll instantly recognize the situations, because we are all the victims of crazymaking throughout our lives. But when you learn what motivates the crazymaking tactics, you're in a much better position to find your way to sanity.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 13, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I have used this book several times in working with co-dependent people. It is the most succinct, usable guideline that a person can use when wanting to break free of the crazy making word manipulations of others. I don't know why every counselor would not want to be attuned to the message this book gives one. Then, I do not know why they would not pass it on. It is not unusual to say as each paragraph is read, "Yes, that is him, or her, all right!" It gives the reader the knowledge needed,in easily read concise steps,to break free from the convoluted conversations practiced by many people around us. Especially the people often the closest to us in relationships. Read it! Then be prepared for the feeling of fresh air coming into your relationships with others.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 19, 1999
Format: Hardcover
If you want to find out why you make the statement" he/she is driving me crazy", then read this book and you will have the understanding necessary to finally figure out what is really going on. It truly is an amazing book and gives you what you need to once and for all put a stop to some of the crazy-making going on in your relationship. A must reading for everyone, not just someone in a relationship. It helps you to understand why you do the things you do.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Thomas A. Leake on March 15, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book was an eye opener! When I was in a difficult relationship a few years ago I was in counseling. I found this book and brought it in to my sessions My therapist purchased a copy because it clearly defines our emotional rights.

The right to know
The right to feel
The right to impact
The right to have space

Crazymakers consistently violate these rights. And we may find we can be crazy makers to other. But there are ways we can stop hurting others and we can protect ourselves.

Great stuff

The writing style feels very dated. But there are many good things in here
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Barbara Hall on November 30, 2011
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the best self-help book I've ever read. It's written in the language of the 70's, but it's got the right ideas. My husband found it and actually read it before giving it to me. Our marriage was shaky at the time, but once I read it it too we learned to talk to each other in a meaningful way, saying what we mean without yelling or pushing each others' buttons. I always say it's the book that saved our marriage. It doesn't have to be spouses who will benefit from reading this old saw, it could be parents and kids, boyfriends and girlfriends, or even just one person dealing with the world.

I have bought this book over and over from Amazon and given it to each of my children and many friends over the years.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Roberta on February 15, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is a very helpful book about understanding human interactions, from personal relationships with loved ones, to professional relationships. It defines and gives examples of "crazymaking" behavior, how we can unwittingly create chaos and misunderstanding in our interactions and shows methods for being more honest with one another.

It is a bit dated, but would be a good recommendation for anyone who wants to better understand "crazymaking" behavior or who has people in their life who keep "pushing our buttons." Even if you cannot change the way another person is, understanding the causes of conflict can help distance you from being right in the middle of it and you can change the way you react to the person, which does change the relationship for the better.
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