Stories from a Moron: Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines [Hardcover]

Ed Broth (Author), Jerry Seinfeld (Foreword), Jerry Seinfeld (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 25, 2004

"Sorry, there's no way we can use this."
- Plumpers Magazine

"As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to be familiar with the publications they submit material to."
- Fencers Quarterly Magazine

Ed writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so:

"Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry..."

"Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you..."

"Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing."

"Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'..."

"Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..."

With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands.

Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Book Description
Ed is an aspiring writer. He really wants to be published. But Ed Broth's problem is that he writes short pieces and send them in to the wrong places. For example, Ed writes a story about his clothesline and then... sends it to Fencing Quarterly. When the editor writes back explaining that his magazine is about fencing rather than clotheslines, Ed does what any ambitious writer would do: he revises. And then resubmits his story--now containing hilariously ham-handed additions about fencing--to the same editor. Stories From A Moron collects not only Ed's work but the letters between Ed and the beleaguered editors of the publications he submits to. It's nutty humour at its deadpan best.

"Welcome to the world of Ed Broth. I think we can all use a warm clear liquid with a faintly chickeny smell right about now." --Jerry Seinfeld

From Publishers Weekly

This author's name must strike terror in the souls of editors across the country: after all, his hobby is writing purposefully mediocre stories and submitting them to the wrong magazines. When an editor tells Broth that his material isn't suitable, Broth peppers his original story with mentions of whatever the magazine's focus happens to be, bolds and underlines them, and sends the piece back. As one editor writes to Broth, "I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...you just wasted your money and my time." It's pretty funny at first, and we laugh along with the bemused Fencers' Quarterly editor. But what about the painfully earnest group at the helm of an Amish magazine and the countless busy editors of very specific publications (Rug Hooking, I Love Cats Magazine, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists) who are being asked to read such inanities? Most editors try to give Broth some kind of guidance the first time he sends them his inappropriate-occasionally sordid, often boring-stories. Soon it seems as if we're watching Broth thumb his nose at people trying to help him, and eventually we must wonder what else he might have been able to accomplish with the amount of effort he put into confusing and frustrating editors. He might have improved his writing, for example. But for a book of one-note gags, this does offer some good laughs.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (November 25, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312326769
• ISBN-13: 978-0312326760
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.5 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,183,290 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Very, Very Funny Book, December 27, 2004

By 

Anita Evangelista (Springfield, MO USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Stories from a Moron: Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines (Hardcover)

Review By Nick Evangelista:

I was one of "Ed Broth's" editorial contactees for this book (FENCERS QUARTERLY MAGAZINE). From day one, I just thought this individual was a raving looney. He kept submitting stories to me about his underwear and shorty pajamas, which really had nothing at all to do with the type of magazine I publish. My greatest fear was that "Ed" would show up unannounced on my front porch dressed in said shortie pajamas. The guy seemed kind of obsessed about his p.j.'s. It was a great relief to find out that his submissions were actually part of a book.

With that said, "Stories from a Moron" is very funny. In fact, it gets funnier on subsequent readings (I think). "Ed Broth's" unflagging literary assaults on reality, pushing his stuff energetically at the wrongest of wrong magazine markets, over and over and over again, made me laugh so hard, my wife, who is a nurse, thought I was choking on food.

"Stories from Moron" is the funniest book I've read in a long time.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Not quite up to the Letters from a Nut series, May 17, 2005

By 

JimjamKrotz (San Marcos, TX United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stories from a Moron: Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines (Hardcover)

I don't know if its Jerry Seinfeld or somebody else writing this, but it definitely is written by the same person who wrote the Letters from a Nut books. The writing style is a dead giveaway. Although this book is funny, I grew tired of it after a while. The crazy stories that the "author" sends grew too repetitive and thus boring. Perhaps if the "author" had created a few more stories to alternate between it would have held my attention better. If you are a fan of the Letters books, you will probably like this book too.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Funny...but NOT letters from a nut, March 2, 2005

By 

B. Weber (Orlando, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Stories from a Moron: Real Stories Rejected by Real Magazines (Hardcover)

I guess I was just spoiled by letters from a nut, because although this book was funny and fresh, it just didn't grab me and make me laugh outloud like the letters books did. I would have given it 3.5 if possible. I really enjoyed reading the review by Anita Evangelista above, who was peppered with multiple letters. These were some of the best in the book. The problem with the book is there is so much build up having to read these 3 or 4 incoherent pages of stories, and the response is often little more than standard "thanks but no thanks". In "Nut" You got instant pay off, and the people responding HAD to be nice, because they were in a customer service role, where in "Moron" they could basically tell him to take a hike. Regardless, it is entertaining, I did laugh outloud a few times, but I am such a fan of the Letters from a nut books, that I let my expectations run too high.