Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: A Buddhist Path Through Divorce (Paperback)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: Storms Can't Hurt the Sky, Get Happy, Arrows Into Flowers (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When his wife walks out on him, novelist Cohen (Red Hook) is stunned: "I didn't call out, didn't follow her to the door, I just lay down on the couch... as if I was settling into the coffin of our marriage." How he gets through the subsequent weeks and months provides the focus for this philosophical self-help. Cohen isn't trying to convert anyone, just passing along the key Buddhist principles he gleaned from a few lectures and applied to his own situation. Sound advice and short chapters fill his narrative of recovery, unadorned by bullet-pointed lists, side-bars or "get-enlightened-quick schemes," which should do much to engage readers and keep them that way. Subjects like anger management, self-pity and substance abuse lead Cohen to the heart of Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths that promise an end to suffering for anyone: "Our sadness and happiness and anger... come only from within," meaning that control over them can and must also come from within. Encouraging and accessible throughout, Cohen's book will make a useful tool for readers going through a difficult break-up.
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Review

"Anybody who has ever experienced the breakdown of a relationship, let alone a divorce, will find that once started, this book is impossible to put down. A deeply personal and honest account of one man's journey that becomes universal...This is an inspirational and insightful story."--"Mandala"

"A practical, down-to-earth guide."--"Hillsdale Independent," 5/23/08

"Offers practical suggestions for people in difficult relationships...evocative and illuminating memoir-cum-guidebook...Cohen has a knack for seamlessly weaving together conceptual material and personal anecdotes. In the end, the book speaks not only to people struggling through the trauma of divorce but also to anyone interested in how Buddhist teachings apply to everyday life."--"Tricycle"

"Highly readable yet subtle book...Very grounded and straightforward...An enjoyable book, well worth reading."--"The Middle Way," August 2008

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (March 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1600940501
• ISBN-13: 978-1600940507
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #98,746 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Be Misled By The Title, This Book Is For Everyone: Married/In A Relationship/Divorced/Separated Or Not, April 4, 2009

By	Rahayu Ratnaningsih (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

A beautiful book. Deeply compassionate and very helpful. It reminds me again why I'm a Buddhist, something that has been in the back burner the last few years. It highlights the rationality, common-sense, radically mind-boggling insights and practicality and timeless wisdom of Buddhism.

Cohen found Buddhism when his wife of 4.5 years left him without saying a word and never came back. Being a freelance/struggling author living in expensive NY in the middle of mundane life's challenges, his world came crashing down on him. He was torn with anger, resentment, fear, loneliness, confusion, daily mental agitation, sadness, grief...and, last but not least, longing and love of his wife and the haunting memories of the good old days. And the endless whys of how it ended the way it did.

It's recommended reading for anyone in such situation or even those who want a better relationship with their loved ones, or just want a more skillful way of dealing with life and all its issues. He wonders if things would have been different had he found Buddhism while he was still married to his wife. It helps puts things in perspective and try to understand that everyone, whoever he/she is, is in this world for one thing and one thing only: the search of happiness and the avoidance of suffering. Everyone of us responds and behaves at the level of our delusion: desirous attachment, self-cherishing and anger. If every married couple applies this wholesome understanding of their partner, imagine how many marriages can be saved.

The mind is like the sky, every thought and turbulence caused by it is like the clouds. They will all come and pass by, leaving the sky clear once again. Hence storms can't hurt the sky. It offers practical advice on how you could make the clouds and turbulence pass sooner by being aware of how your feelings are very related to your thoughts and of the inevitable process that creates the entanglement.

I am truly thankful of Cohen for this gift for helping ease my own struggle and pain (I've known all the Buddhist theories, but we all need to be reminded from time to time). I will perhaps one day write a book on the subject. This might be the best gift you've ever given to your friends or loved ones.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and wiser."

May all beings be happy and free from suffering.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A heartfelt page turner!, February 28, 2008

By	RGNYC "-RG" (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews

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This book was impossible for me to put down. It reads like an adventure mystery until the very end when you realize it was, perhaps, the delusions who dunnit! It is profoundly personal, heart wrenching, and poignant yet it's also full of humor and inspiring suggestions. Enjoy!

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Accessible Buddhism, April 9, 2008

By	Kathryn Shimmura - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

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This is a wonderful book. The author describes the end of his marriage, how difficult it was to cope with, how he discovered buddhism at some point along the way and how he was helped by what he learned.
Some books on buddhism must be read slowly in order to understand and absorb what is being said. This author skillfully interweaves his own story with buddhist ideas presented in simple terms. He's just a regular guy going about his life, and struggling, at times, the way many of us do. He's not trying to convert us to buddhism, and anyway, buddhism doesn't really conflict with other religions, it enhances them.
Even if you're not in the middle of a divorce, this book can help you get a handle on the things we all struggle with, in a fairly easy to understand way. In addition to the author's personal story, there is useful advice at the end on how to get started on your own path to understanding.