Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: A Buddhist Path Through Divorce [Paperback]

Gabriel Cohen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2008

Buddhism has been applied to everything from parenting to golf, but until now no one has offered Buddhist principles as a healing path through divorce. In Storms Can’t Hurt the Sky, Gabriel Cohen bravely delves into his personal experience-along with insights from Buddhist masters, parables, humor, social science studies, and interviews with other divorcés-to provide a practical and very helpful guide to surviving the pain of any break-up. Focusing on the emotions most common in the dissolution of a relationship-anger, resentment, loss, and grief-Storms Can’t Hurt the Sky shows how thinking about these feelings in surprisingly different ways can lead to a radically better experience. This compulsively readable book offers sound advice and much-needed empathy for anyone dealing with a break-up.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When his wife walks out on him, novelist Cohen (Red Hook) is stunned: "I didn't call out, didn't follow her to the door, I just lay down on the couch... as if I was settling into the coffin of our marriage." How he gets through the subsequent weeks and months provides the focus for this philosophical self-help. Cohen isn't trying to convert anyone, just passing along the key Buddhist principles he gleaned from a few lectures and applied to his own situation. Sound advice and short chapters fill his narrative of recovery, unadorned by bullet-pointed lists, side-bars or "get-enlightened-quick schemes," which should do much to engage readers and keep them that way. Subjects like anger management, self-pity and substance abuse lead Cohen to the heart of Buddhism, the Four Noble Truths that promise an end to suffering for anyone: "Our sadness and happiness and anger... come only from within," meaning that control over them can and must also come from within. Encouraging and accessible throughout, Cohen's book will make a useful tool for readers going through a difficult break-up.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Anybody who has ever experienced the breakdown of a relationship, let alone a divorce, will find that once started, this book is impossible to put down. A deeply personal and honest account of one man's journey that becomes universal...This is an inspirational and insightful story."--"Mandala"

"A practical, down-to-earth guide."--"Hillsdale Independent," 5/23/08

"Offers practical suggestions for people in difficult relationships...evocative and illuminating memoir-cum-guidebook...Cohen has a knack for seamlessly weaving together conceptual material and personal anecdotes. In the end, the book speaks not only to people struggling through the trauma of divorce but also to anyone interested in how Buddhist teachings apply to everyday life."--"Tricycle"

"Highly readable yet subtle book...Very grounded and straightforward...An enjoyable book, well worth reading."--"The Middle Way," August 2008

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (March 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1600940501
• ISBN-13: 978-1600940507
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #383,140 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A heartfelt page turner!, February 28, 2008

By 

RGNYC "-RG" (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: A Buddhist Path Through Divorce (Paperback)

This book was impossible for me to put down. It reads like an adventure mystery until the very end when you realize it was, perhaps, the delusions who dunnit! It is profoundly personal, heart wrenching, and poignant yet it's also full of humor and inspiring suggestions. Enjoy!

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Be Misled By The Title, This Book Is For Everyone: Married/In A Relationship/Divorced/Separated Or Not, April 4, 2009

By 

Rahayu Ratnaningsih (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: A Buddhist Path Through Divorce (Paperback)

A beautiful book. Deeply compassionate and very helpful. It reminds me again why I'm a Buddhist, something that has been in the back burner the last few years. It highlights the rationality, common-sense, radically mind-boggling insights and practicality and timeless wisdom of Buddhism.

Cohen found Buddhism when his wife of 4.5 years left him without saying a word and never came back. Being a freelance/struggling author living in expensive NY in the middle of mundane life's challenges, his world came crashing down on him. He was torn with anger, resentment, fear, loneliness, confusion, daily mental agitation, sadness, grief...and, last but not least, longing and love of his wife and the haunting memories of the good old days. And the endless whys of how it ended the way it did.

It's recommended reading for anyone in such situation or even those who want a better relationship with their loved ones, or just want a more skillful way of dealing with life and all its issues. He wonders if things would have been different had he found Buddhism while he was still married to his wife. It helps puts things in perspective and try to understand that everyone, whoever he/she is, is in this world for one thing and one thing only: the search of happiness and the avoidance of suffering. Everyone of us responds and behaves at the level of our delusion: desirous attachment, self-cherishing and anger. If every married couple applies this wholesome understanding of their partner, imagine how many marriages can be saved.

The mind is like the sky, every thought and turbulence caused by it is like the clouds. They will all come and pass by, leaving the sky clear once again. Hence storms can't hurt the sky. It offers practical advice on how you could make the clouds and turbulence pass sooner by being aware of how your feelings are very related to your thoughts and of the inevitable process that creates the entanglement.

I am truly thankful of Cohen for this gift for helping ease my own struggle and pain (I've known all the Buddhist theories, but we all need to be reminded from time to time). I will perhaps one day write a book on the subject. This might be the best gift you've ever given to your friends or loved ones.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and wiser."

May all beings be happy and free from suffering.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting beyond the hurt, August 14, 2008

By 

HJ (Toronto Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Storms Can't Hurt the Sky: A Buddhist Path Through Divorce (Paperback)

I have read dozens of books since my separation and while many were helpful, this is the one that is profoundly changing how I feel. Gabriel Cohen helped me realize how much I control my feelings about what has happened and how I can react from now on. I read a few pages every day, taking time to digest what were some challenging propositions: understand my ex's pain? fill my heart with compassion so there's no room for anger? This is a great book no matter where you are in the breakup of a long-term relationship; it will give you the insight and tools to create a happier future.