Straight Lies [Paperback]

Rob Byrnes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 31, 2009

From award-winning author Rob Byrnes comes a wickedly entertaining caper involving red-hot men, cold hard cash, and deliciously dirty deeds. . .

Two Partners In Crime

Grant and Chase are a fun-loving pair of small-time hustlers with no money, little patience, and lots of get-rich-quick schemes. If only they could pull off the perfect crime--"The Big One," as Grant calls it--Chase could finally quit his job at the supermarket and the two could retire in style.

One Star In The Closet

Romeo Romero is the world's hottest openly gay celebrity. He's got the face, the abs, the fame, the fortune--and the sex video that could destroy his career. If this naughty little tape should fall into the wrong hands, Romeo's adoring fans would be in for one big surprise: He's straight.

No Lie

When Grant and Chase hear about the video (thanks to a notorious Hamptons' gossip), it's a no-brainer. All they have to do is steal the tape, blackmail the star, and collect the cash. But then, when they stupidly leave the video in a New York cab, the would-be crooks have to wheel and deal with a sleazy tabloid editor, a lesbian real estate agent, a kinky Internet stalker, and an alluring boy toy to finally get to the truth. . .behind not-so-straight lies.

Praise for Rob Byrnes and When The Stars Come Out. . .

"Clever dialogue and an astute rendering of the prices people pay to keep secrets buried add crossover appeal." --Publishers Weekly

"Byrnes turns out another deftly written and enticingly complex gay romance." --Booklist

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A pair of petty crooks think they've lucked into the ultimate blackmail material in Byrnes's unwieldy latest. Chase LaMarca and Grant Lambert get information that gay icon Romeo Romero is actually straight, but their incompetent associate loses the incriminating videotape in a cab. Before LaMarca and Lambert can retrieve the tape, it falls into the hands of tabloid reporter Ian Hadley, who has blackmail on his mind, too. The gaggle go to extremes (and the Hamptons) to get what they want in this comedy of errors, and while the characters are charmingly inept, the coincidences that drive the plot are woefully absurd, and the setting is threadbare window dressing. The competing capers have some fun moments, but the plotting leaves much to be desired. (Apr.)
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From Booklist

In this caper heist, Byrnes (When the Stars Come Out, 2006) comes up with obstacles likely and improbable as Grant and his longtime lover, Chase, try to steal a compromising videotape of gay film legend Romeo Romero (who’s been out and proud for decades) making hot love in his hot tub to a hot, buxom blond. The actor’s legions of gay fans would reel from the revelation of their Romeo’s closeted heterosexuality, so blackmail’s the scheme. As the two small-time con men try to claw their way up the crime ladder, they add an assortment of larcenous misfits to their gang until it resembles a hilarious bad-dream team. They then fail to secure the tape, so decide to re-create the sex scenario. Of course, everything that can go wrong does, making all the scheming and strategizing that somewhat slow the action resolve into a laugh-out-loud endgame farce with definite switch-hit appeal. --Whitney Scott

Product Details

• Paperback: 330 pages
• Publisher: Kensington; 1 Original edition (March 31, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0758228570
• ISBN-13: 978-0758228574
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #491,394 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Rob Byrnes is a native of Upstate New York (specifically, Rochester; with briefer residencies in Schenectady and Albany) who moved to Manhattan in 1997 to make his fortune... but ended up writing novels and short stories instead. Byrnes's third novel, "When the Stars Come Out," won the 1996 Lambda Literary Award for Best Gay Romance. He currently lives in West New York -- deceptively located in New Jersey -- with his partner, Brady Allen.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Straight Lies by Rob Byrnes, November 21, 2009

By 

Elisa (Italy) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Straight Lies (Paperback)

This novel is less "romance" than expected and probably funnier. First of all the two main characters, from the blurb and even from the cover I was expecting for them to be two young guys with big hopes and few means, and instead they are two partners in crime in a work and love relationship older than 15 years. So between them everything is easy, they know each other and their mutual faults. There is not much romance, meaning that there are not much love scenes (and never once we arrive to a sex scene) but between Chase and Grant there is for sure a love relationship. Here and there you can also have an hint that it was not always simple, that maybe sometime they had to overcome some obstacles in their path, but more or less they were successful in doing that, and I have never had the feeling that their relationship was in trouble.

Problem is that at more or less 40 years old, they are too old to continue to live on expedients, they maybe want to retire or arriving at least near that. And so when Jamie comes to them with a not so legal proposition, Grant sees the chance to hit the big one. Jamie filmed a famous gay actor and activist, Romeo Romero, having sex... with a woman. The tape is worth a lot, the problem is that Jamie lost it! In a cab! From that moment on Grant starts to plan a way to have it back and more he goes on, more people are involved and more I was trying to understand if, once everyone was paid back, something for Chase and Grant's retirement plan was still available.

As I said, the novel is more a comedy than a romance, and even if it deals with thieves and blackmails, for sure it's not a mystery or an adventure plot... probably the only mystery is how our heroes manage to not end up in a jail, since they didn't give me the idea to be real criminals. Chase and Grant are more or less good boys who are trying to survive, and even their crimes usually are petty crimes, that more or less don't give much trouble neither to their victims: some money here, a stolen car there, nothing of irreplaceable or real life-important.

Other than Chase and Grant, there are other supporting characters that I think in a way stole the scene to them. Lisa, the lesbian real estate agent with a lip-stick girlfriend, Paul the driver, even Will the unwilling blackmailer, or Henry the 41 years old policeman with a crush for the 16 years old "Amber", no one of them is really "honest", but no one of them is really a criminal. But who for me shine among them all is Jared, the twinkiest of the twinks: with is out of body-lose in dreams moments and his philosophy of life (every man with money is hot), he is for sure the most funniest and original of all the characters and I really wouldn't mind to read his own personal story, where of course he would be able to find his hot sugar daddy, with a lot of money and, why not?, who is also an hot guy for real. Who instead had great potential, but among all these characters remained a bit in the shadow was Jamie: again, I think he's good material for something more.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Partners in crime... and not only, September 13, 2009

By 

Ford Ka (Edinburgh, Scotland) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Straight Lies (Paperback)

Can an openly gay man be outed? Well, he can if he is only pretending to be gay in order to keep the remnants of his acting career alive while actually he has a soft spot for girls with big bosoms. When Romeo Romero is caught on tape with such a girl by one of his guests, and Grant Lambert and Chase La Marca hear about the fact and the existence of the tape (the whereabouts thereof are currently uknown) the adventure begins.
Grant and Chase are partners in more ways than one - they live together and break the law together. Their specialty are gentlemen with a taste for very young girls. They find their victims on the Internet and before the gentlemen know what is going on, they lose their cars and credit cards. Grant and Chase are small-time crooks who hope for a big break and blackmailing Romeo Romero seems to be a chance for such a break. But the cookie turns out to be a tough one so they will have to work very hard and ask all their friends to help to get to Romero's money.
Byrnes succeeds once again - the novel has a good pace, the characters are well drawn, the story is (almost) probable. This is not another candidate for the Pulitzer prize but a very good candidate for your beach/pool reading during summer holidays. It took my copy to Cyprus and I did not regret it.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny New Read!, May 6, 2009

By 

Jeffrey S. Berens "jeffrey7198" (Milwaukee, WI) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Straight Lies (Paperback)

Rob Byrnes has done it again. "Straight Lies" is a hilarious adventure introducing us to con-men Chas and Grant and well as re-introducing a few previous characters we have met in Byrnes other books!

Great laughs and hilarity ensues when Chas and Grant plan the biggest caper of their "careers."

A great read! I look forward to more adventures of this mad-cap gang!