The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival [Paperback]

Joy Marie (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2008

Imagine.....You have finally met Mr. Right. He's handsome, sexy, charming, intelligent, articulate, and financially successful. He even portrays the role of an excellent father. He does not smoke, drink or use drugs and he has a decent credit history. You marry him and buy your dream house in the suburbs. Your children attend the best schools and you live in a wonderful neighborhood. You're finally living the American dream, but one day you wake up and realize Your Prince Charming is really a lying Queen. You can't believe it. It can't be true. No... not him and no not you, but deep in your heart, you know it's true. All the pieces of the puzzle were there.... but, you couldn't connect the dots because your heart refused to believe what your brain and your intuition were telling you. What happened to your dream, your life, your sense of security? Something has suddenly snatched it all away, but where were you? Why didn't you see it coming? You discover your husband is secretly sleeping with men. He is part of the secretive subculture known as the down-low. You feel shocked and disgusted, ashamed, humiliated, angry, stupid, foolish, victimized, hurt, betrayed, deceived, shattered, confused, devastated and used. You feel dirty, violated and terrified about the possibility of being infected with HIV or some other nasty STD. You find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, plunging deep into despair, desperate to get off. You search frantically for answers, validation for your feelings and even something... anything to prove you wrong. You surf the net desperately seeking information. However, you discover that the on-line support groups are geared toward helping the gay person come to terms with their own sexuality, but nothing to help you. You re left feeling ignored, overlooked and victimized all over again. The purpose of this book is to provide support and resources for the wives, lovers and families that have been victimized by homosexual men masquerading as straight. Our intent is to educate and inform women that may encounter men on the down-low and support the women who have experienced it already. We believe the account of our experiences and what we have learned will bring about awareness and a heightened sense of self-responsibility. We believe our lives should be in our own hands and not in the hands of those who only speak about this subject to defend the down-low, to further misinform women and/or to make money. We have chosen to write this book in order to speak for ourselves and not allow someone else to tell our story. This is not a book full of statistics, articles or scientific data. It was written by two women who have experienced the anguish and misery of being married to men on the down-low. They will share from the depths of their hearts, souls and minds as they tell their stories and the stories of other women who have lived through this experience. Contrary to the beliefs of some authors, there are telltale signs when a man is on the down-low. We will address those signs and answer many of your questions that have been ignored by other books written on the subject. Please visit our website at WWW.STRAIGHTUPTRUTH.COM

Editorial Reviews

Review

I am profoundly moved. I am as sincere as I have ever been in my lifetime when I tell you that this book that you produced is absolutely one of the finest contributions to womankind that I have ever personally experienced. It is superbly written and I'm still feeling the spiritual, emotional connection to you and this incredible work. To say I was moved is grossly understating what I am feeling right now. I truly am overwhelmed. I could not put this manuscript down. --Dr. Marlene Roderiques, Psychotherapist

Believe me when I say I could not sleep at all last night. The thoughts of what I read constantly went through my mind. After reading the section that described the types of advertisements and parties that down low 'men' participate in, I didn't know whether to cry, scream or just puke! I believe this book will certainly enlighten others like me/us who had no real idea of this underground world. But, most importantly, I hope that this would be a profound 'wake up call' for those sisters who are out there putting their trust, literally their lives in the hands of any good looking brother that comes their way, just to have a 'man'. Lack of education and action on our behalf is literally killing us! This was certainly eye opening for me! --Brenda

Wow! What a book! A real eye opener, and I've never heard of down-low before. The book is very well written and planned out. It will connect immediately with the target audience in a way that few books do - and I have no doubts at all about that. I wish you great success with the sales of this book and that the purpose of it - that women will wake up and smell the coffee about the men they may be married to, and stick together as sisters. --Ruth

About the Author

The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low was written by two women, who met on the Internet while seeking answers to their newfound reality. They had loved, trusted, and shared their lives with men who lived a lie...Together they vowed to dedicate their lives to helping other women who would find themselves victims of down-low men. Joy Marie's intent, by writing this book, is to make other women aware of the dangerous, promiscuous sexual practices that actually take place in the down-low lifestyle.

Product Details

• Paperback: 174 pages
• Publisher: Creative Wisdom Books; 1st edition (March 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0981544320
• ISBN-13: 978-0981544328
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #403,220 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Taking Away Choices, April 15, 2008

By 

D. Frazier (Cleveland, Ohio) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival (Paperback)

When Janine married Gary, something inside told her things were not right. When Gerome started going to (gay) nightclubs without Nadine, it was no big deal though she had unasked questions. The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low by Joy Marie discusses the lives of couples who experienced down-low issues, warning signs, and making decisions regarding these types of relationships. There is even an intimate interview with a down-low man.

I expected a male-bashing read and received quite the opposite. The authors provided a well-rounded view of the down-low phenomena. The Straight-Up Truth pressed the importance of intuition, which is something most people either ignore or dismiss as paranoia. The stories shared were impactful as they portray how easy it is to mistake down-low behavior. With shocking personal ads from the Internet, it was clear how much devastation can be caused when women are not given their right to make informed decisions. Written because of the lack of support for the victims of this practice, The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low is a much needed vehicle for providing awareness. Sadly, there are not enough places woman can turn to for support in these matters.

I recommend The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low to all readers over age fourteen. You personally may never encounter such a situation, but may have friends or family members who could benefit from the knowledge provided between its covers.

Reviewed by Darnetta Frazier
APOOO BookClub

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Men Who Lead Secret Lives and the Women They Marry, April 15, 2008

By 

Jill "Jill" (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival (Paperback)

As a straight woman who was married for many years to a husband who lived a secret life during our entire marriage I found this book very healing. Finally I read stories of other women going through what I experienced.My former husband and I are divorced now and he is still in the closet and I suspect he will always hide his sexual orientation because he still dates unsuspecting women.

The book made me cry for the women who struggled to make a marriage work not knowing that their marriage was doomed from the start because we as women were the wrong gender. What these men want is the appearance of being straight so they can fit into main-stream society.

There are some things in the book I don't agree with as I believe many of the women who wrote their stories have a very fundamental Christian outlook on homosexuality.

To stop the down-low life style --- society must finally accept that homosexuality does exist and is not evil and that a person doesn't choose their sexual orientation... they just are. When homosexuality is accepted as main stream these men will have no reason to hide behind women and that is what I want for my own selfish reasons.

Jill
The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low: Women share their stories of betrayal, pain and survival

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Empathetic, Educational and Informative, March 19, 2008

By 

All About Great Books (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival (Paperback)

I have just completed this book. I got it today and could not put it down until I was finished. I thought that the book was insightful and well written. Not only did it clearly define what the down low means, it also respectfully shared the personal experiences of the women who have had their lives permanently altered by finding out their spouses were on the down low. The organization of the book was well thought out in that it first defined the down low, gave personal accounts of women affected by it, gave warning signs, gave ways to deal with the coming out of the spouse, gave personal accounts from the male perspective and updates on the women who lives where upheaved. I really have to give kudos to the fact that the book neither condoned or condemned the choice that a woman might potentially make in regards to staying with or leaving her spouse. I am currently an M.A. student in Clincal Psychology and would recommend this book to any current and future therapist in order to gain an deeper understanding of this topic. I would also recommend this book to any woman of any race who wnats to gain insight for personal reasons. Well done Joy Marie. Thank you and the other women who contributed to this book for unselfishly sharing your experiences while still providing a concrete objective lens for others to look through while reading it. I am sure we will see you on Oprah very soon!!