Customer Reviews

The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low: Women Share Their Stories of Betrayal, Pain and Survival

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

When Janine married Gary, something inside told her things were not right. When Gerome started going to (gay) nightclubs without Nadine, it was no big deal though she had unasked questions. The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low by Joy Marie discusses the lives of couples who experienced down-low issues, warning signs, and making decisions regarding these types of relationships. There is even an intimate interview with a down-low man.

I expected a male-bashing read and received quite the opposite. The authors provided a well-rounded view of the down-low phenomena. The Straight-Up Truth pressed the importance of intuition, which is something most people either ignore or dismiss as paranoia. The stories shared were impactful as they portray how easy it is to mistake down-low behavior. With shocking personal ads from the Internet, it was clear how much devastation can be caused when women are not given their right to make informed decisions. Written because of the lack of support for the victims of this practice, The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low is a much needed vehicle for providing awareness. Sadly, there are not enough places woman can turn to for support in these matters.

I recommend The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low to all readers over age fourteen. You personally may never encounter such a situation, but may have friends or family members who could benefit from the knowledge provided between its covers.

Reviewed by Darnetta Frazier
APOOO BookClub

As a straight woman who was married for many years to a husband who lived a secret life during our entire marriage I found this book very healing. Finally I read stories of other women going through what I experienced.My former husband and I are divorced now and he is still in the closet and I suspect he will always hide his sexual orientation because he still dates unsuspecting women.

The book made me cry for the women who struggled to make a marriage work not knowing that their marriage was doomed from the start because we as women were the wrong gender. What these men want is the appearance of being straight so they can fit into main-stream society.

There are some things in the book I don't agree with as I believe many of the women who wrote their stories have a very fundamental Christian outlook on homosexuality.

To stop the down-low life style --- society must finally accept that homosexuality does exist and is not evil and that a person doesn't choose their sexual orientation... they just are. When homosexuality is accepted as main stream these men will have no reason to hide behind women and that is what I want for my own selfish reasons.

Jill
The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low: Women share their stories of betrayal, pain and survival

I have just completed this book. I got it today and could not put it down until I was finished. I thought that the book was insightful and well written. Not only did it clearly define what the down low means, it also respectfully shared the personal experiences of the women who have had their lives permanently altered by finding out their spouses were on the down low. The organization of the book was well thought out in that it first defined the down low, gave personal accounts of women affected by it, gave warning signs, gave ways to deal with the coming out of the spouse, gave personal accounts from the male perspective and updates on the women who lives where upheaved. I really have to give kudos to the fact that the book neither condoned or condemned the choice that a woman might potentially make in regards to staying with or leaving her spouse. I am currently an M.A. student in Clincal Psychology and would recommend this book to any current and future therapist in order to gain an deeper understanding of this topic. I would also recommend this book to any woman of any race who wnats to gain insight for personal reasons. Well done Joy Marie. Thank you and the other women who contributed to this book for unselfishly sharing your experiences while still providing a concrete objective lens for others to look through while reading it. I am sure we will see you on Oprah very soon!!

This book penned by two women who had their own personal experience with down low men is an EXCELLENT resource. Instead of just telling their story they sought out all the pertinent information on this `taboo' subject. This book houses a collection of personal stories told by those who lived them, actual online profiles of men on the DL, a list of warning signs, two interviews with real life men on the DL and much more. I was surprised at how informative and `straight-up' this read was. Many people shy away from subjects such as this but the truth is - it is reality, and the more you know the more you can protect yourself from falling victim.

The purpose of this book is to bring the issue of the down low man to the forefront of the minds of women as it is often swept under the rug. There are several books out there claiming to bare all about the DL, but I have not come across one as informative, straight forward, or realistic as this. I cannot stress enough how much more effective this book is than ANY fiction book re-telling a story about this subject. Realistic, cut and dry - between the covers of this book lays an abundance of real information. Kudos Joy Marie! This is truly essential reading.

Englishruler
ARC Book Club Inc.
Star Rating: 5 Stars

Joy Marie shared her book titled "The Straight-Up Truth About The Down-Low" with me. As soon as I got it, I started reading it. Not because I felt like I was involved with one, but the personal story had me hooked from the first page. The book is not a gay bashing book, it's a book about WOMEN, real women who have been hurt by men on the down-low who were either too selfish or to afraid to be open about their personal choice of partners. While reading it, I felt the women pain and hurt over the ones they loved. I also felt he anguish of two of them men that were brave enough to be interviewed for the book. It's a great book, especially for those who have been hurt, it lets them know that they are not alone. It's also great for the men who are hiding who they are because it shows the effects they are having on others in their life.

I personally know of a guy I actually married who may (ok I strongly beleive) is/was on the DL. But like some do, I orginally went aganist my inuition and got married. BUT, I only stayed in it a year because I had to be true to myself. If he is/was on the DL one will never know. But reading other experiences did shed some light on the sitution.

I enjoyed it because it was real. Real people telling real stories who were brave enough to share their experiences. I always give mad props to ANYONE who is willing and able to share a life alterting experience. For those of you who do decide to pick up this insterting book and read it, remember, not ALL men is on the down low and not all gay or homosexual men hide who they are.

Thank you for sharing!!!!!!

We have heard the calling for empathy from brothers on the down-low. Many of these men agonize over their lifestyle choices. Some down-low exposes that share similar points of views, while enlightening, have left something to be desired. This book shatters the polished shield of the down-low lifestyle.

Easily read in one sitting, The Straight-Up Truth provides eye opening details from the dl mans perspective. This book gives real life examples of statements made in their own environment and cracks the codes amongst the jargon.

What about the women? Will no one tell their story? Will no one understand their pain and tough decisions they are forced to make? The Straight-Up Truth gives these women, who have been betrayed, a voice. Life experiences are shared by several women as they deal with denial, depression and desperation once finding out the truth.

If this book does nothing else it teaches women to use and trust their intuition. This book also implores women to use their right to make their own choice while begging them to be informed about the choice they decide to make. This is not just another book about the down-low lifestyle. What you don't know can kill you. Every woman needs to read this book so that they can be educated. This book does not bash, it does not judge, it simply educates.

Reviewed by:
Nikkea Smithers
RWA Book Club President
www.myspace.com/rwabookclub

Ladies, my sisters, this is not only a self- help book it is for our survival. I know in my past I have worn blinders and made countless excuses in my head for things that were slapping me in my face but this book will aid you in removing those countless questions you may have about the 'mysterious' behavior that you may see in your men. When you start reading it you won't be able to put it down because what you will read is some stuff that will absolutely blow your minds!!! This is definitely something to discuss with your girlfriends, cousins, your MOTHERS!!! This behavior is prevalent in all races...Peace.

i dealth with this back in 1991-92 while in high school. my high school sweet heart thought he'd use me as a way to prove he wasn't gay. i felt i was the only woman on earth that had gone through this and turns out that i'm not. TSUTATDL (acronym for the title) is a must read for all women. this episode in my life prompted me to write Blind Temptations the Seduction of Sex, Lies & Betrayal. At one point i was Chante so i know how it feels to find yourself in this painful situation.

i love the begining where there were DL profiles and telling us what to look for. the terms they use with the meaning was another helpful bit of advice. Although, due to my experience i can spot a man on the DL a mile away. i still learned a lot from this book and didn't know it all when it comes to the DL like i thought. i met these women at the BEA and they gave me this book for free. i wished it was out when i needed it back in the early 90's but everything has it's season and this is book couldn't have come at a better time!

i hope women take heed of this invaluable info and stop going on looks alone. you have to look deep before you leap as Judge Mabeline would say; especially, if your man was on lock down for any extended amnount of time. you never know if he became someone's piece or made someone his, because he's not telling simply because he feels his manhood will be challenged. trust and believe he didn't stay behind bars all that time and didn't engage. Get tested ladies make him get tested time his foot touch the land of freedom and even then still make him wear protection until at least 6 months of negative testing has gone by.

This book is a must read for ALL ladies that date men. We finally get answers. You know all those times we were mad at females for talking to our man or calling him, I think we get blinded by that not knowing the fellas he put before us are the ones we should be looking at twice. I finished the book and one word comes to mind "WOW". I want to thank the ladies for sharing their stories to educate everyone else about these activities. There is so much I can write about this book but all I'm going to say is if you can read, this is a MUST READ. We need to make a chat room and have some live chatting about this topic. Call Michael Baisden, call Oprah, call Tyra or email them let them know we want to talk about it OUT LOUD. Why are black women the highest on the HIV/AIDS cases right now? I know I wanna know, do you?
Looking forward to seeing how everyone else is feeling about this subject, men and women.

"The Straight-Up Truth About Down -Low" is truly enlightening. This is a book that I would recommend that not only African-American women, but for every woman to read! The down low "culture" is not a fad that only affect these men but can also infect the women that they are involved with. This book provides hope and restoration for those who have been through this unfortunate experience and it also teaches women who may have never been through the situations discussed in the book- what to look for and how to protect themselves. I appreciate the passion and vulnerability of the author, Joy Marie and her heart to help women overcome the devastation of a husband or boyfriend who are on the down-low. Again, every young girl and woman should read this book. We live in a different society where nothing is impossible and everything is now fathomable. People perish for the lack of knowledge. Please empower yourselves with knowledge..."The Straight-Up Truth About the Down-Low" is a great start!