Since Strangling Isn't An Option... Dealing with Difficult People -- Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions [Paperback]

Sandra A. Crowe (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 15, 1999

For those who feel like they are expending too much energy either engaging in conflict or desperately trying to avoid it, this refreshing, realistic guide provides accessible solutions. Readers will learn why dealing with a difficult person doesn?t have to ruin their day, the habits that cause conflict, and the techniques that can turn things around. It also gives readers insight into their own power in shaping relationships, and specific advice for handling different personality types. There really is a better way!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Sandra A. Crowe, a certified executive coach, is president of Pivotal Point Training and Consulting, Inc., and counts the White House, the PBS Learning Channel, Sony, NASA, and many others among her clients. She is also the creator of the audiotape program "Snakes, Apes & Bees: A Guide to Getting Along with Difficult People."

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (October 15, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399525408
• ISBN-13: 978-0399525407
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #236,083 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

109 of 111 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Need a fresh perspective ???, April 14, 2002

By 

"angst30" (University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Since Strangling Isn't An Option... Dealing with Difficult People -- Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions (Paperback)

In a market flooded with advice on interpersonal relationships and the conflicts inherent in relationships, Crowe's book is refreshing in its common-sense approach.
Part I, "Fundamentals of Understanding", focuses on understanding what makes difficult people so hard to deal with. The key is to recognize the difficult person's behavior and our reaction to it. The most thought-provoking question in this segment is "Do we attempt to change difficult people, or do we change our expectations of them. `Difficult' is an opinion. We base our assessment of a person on our observations and expectations, and what we see as difficult, another may see as straightforward or decisive. Sometimes we have to step away from a problem, take a break to get some perspective.
Part II deals with "Personality Types and Patterns of Behavior." It categorizes different personalities by relating them to animals. The concept may be overused, but the content still has validity. There are nine types of difficult personalities. On the aggressive side, we have the lizard, who complains about everything. Crowe's advice is to steer them away from problems and into solutions. It may be impossible to completely stop complainers, but you can certainly stop them from taking up your valuable time. In the passive group, we have the donkey, who stays rooted in one place until forcibly led away - frozen, afraid to make a move. The challenge is to empower them to take some action on their own. Crowe's suggestion is to offer a set of choices, outlining the likely outcome, then let them choose. If their decision is unwise, hopefully they will learn from it. If their decision is a winner, they will gain confidence and hopefully break out of their passive mold.
In Part III, "Tools and Recipes" Crowe offers ways to deal with the difficult personalities that she has outlined. One technique mentioned is "Verbal Aikido." Aikido is a martial art in which the momentum of the attacker is used against them. Verbal aikido is the technique of redirecting a conversation with a difficult person in the direction you want it to go. Sample verbiage includes "Here are your options.." and "You make the choice." The advice is sound, although it may be hard to put into practice initially. Difficult people generally won't be boxed into making a choice, because then who would take the blame? That's exactly Crowe's point - let them decide, and then learn from the outcome.
This book offers simple understandable explanations of some common problems, ands some innovative ways to deal with them. I would recommend it to anyone needing a fresh perspective on interpersonal problems, especially in the workplace.

69 of 78 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical, clear strategies, March 26, 2000

By 

Joan Mazza "Author, speaker, poet" (Mineral, VA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Since Strangling Isn't An Option... Dealing with Difficult People -- Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions (Paperback)

a review from the author of DREAMING YOUR REAL SELF: A PERSONAL APPROACH TO DREAM INTERPRETATION; and DREAM BACK YOUR LIFE: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO DREAMS, DAYDREAMS, AND FANTASIES.

SINCE STRANGLING ISN'T AND OPTION is a down-to-earth, practical guide for dealing with frustrations we all experience. The simple suggestions for how to change our approach to others and the way we evaluate events can help us all to change our circumstances and improve our interactions with others. Her specific explanations for how to calm ourselves, shift our negative focus, and "brake for difficult people" are sensible and effective. Sandra Crowe's writing is clear and personable, with examples readers can relate to. A realistic and painless exploration of self-help strategies, without promising instant happiness, this book is for anyone ready to improve themselves and their ways of dealing with the normal struggles of everyday living.

30 of 35 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good book, April 6, 2003

By 

Cyndi E. Carpluk "Forgiven Cyn" (Henderson, NV) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Since Strangling Isn't An Option... Dealing with Difficult People -- Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions (Paperback)

You should really read this no matter what your disposition. Everyone gets to a point when they want to strangle someone, the title in itself tells how light hearted this book is about a very oppressive subject. Controlling your anger is something most would like to avoid. I advocate this book during my workshops. Take the time to get this one and read it.