Customer Reviews

Strong-Willed Child or Dreamer?

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

My daughter's Kindergarten teacher suggested I read this book because, based on her extensive education in child psychology and observations, my daughter was a dreamer. I'd never heard of such a thing. Reading this book showed me how I was misunderstanding her and how she was misinterpreting my responses or actions.

Dreamer, as used in this book, doesn't mean having one's head in the clouds or constantly daydreaming, letting the world pass one by. It's more about how one views and interprets the world around them, how it affects them personally, and how they react to it. Obviously, no person fits EVERY aspect of any cognitive style. I will have to read it several times to be able to better understand both my dreamers; I, personally, fall into a diametrically opposed category (doer). There are several aspects of dreamers which I feel apply to all children/people, but I think the authors are really saying more than I'm understanding on the first read.

Behaviors I thought were over-reactive, irresponsible, or downright lazy, aren't. It's helped me understand her thinking/feeling better and change my approach and reaction to my daughter's behavior, which in turn has changed her behaviors, leading to ALOT less stress on both of us. The suggestions given to help her thrive have had almost immediate effects--really! Having such a different personality from my daughter, I didn't understand why some of the things I said were ineffective. Now I know the right words to use to get my point across so she understands it. For me, it's almost like learning a new language!

I hope to find more material on dreamers and how to nurture their personalities to survive and succeed in this world, but in the meantime, this will help me continue to understand the real feelings behind both my children's behaviors or words.

If your "Dreamer" is a teenager and you think it's too late for this book to help him or her, please reconsider. Our Dreamer suffered through the social and educational misunderstandings that most dreamers do until her junior year in high school when I purchased this book. After reading it and seeing her story throughout the book, I gave it to her to read. The new understanding of herself that she gained from reading the book gave her a whole new outlook. She is now a happy, well adjusted college freshman who embraces the gifts, talents and personality that God has given her. She still occasionally experiences the insecurities that dreamers share but she has learned how to work through them. Thank you Dr. Spears and Dr. Braund! Oh, and by the way, it's never too late for us older folks either. I discovered that I'm a Dreamer too!

I found out my daughter was a dreamer at a Christian family conference. When Norman Wright put up the characteristics of a strong-willed child (the only thing that fit in that catagory was stubborness) and then he showed the characteristics of a diplomat/compliant child (nothing there except sensitivity) I thought to myself "Where does mine fit?" She had been a mystery to me for all of her 7 years (she's now 10). THEN he showed us the characteristics of a dreamer...and there she was! Norman Wright said that he wished he'd had this book when his daughter was growing up. It is fantastic! I bought the book that day (and I have since given it to my daughter's skating coach and bought a new one for me) and it was a real eye-opener. My daughter fits the dreamer profile exactly. This book has helped me SO much. There are still times when I slip back into my old ways and forget how she needs to be "handled". She is VERY dramatic and need lots of attention and understanding. I find that when I communicate with her in her style things are great. We're heading into adolescence so this book will never be far from my side. I highly recommend this book to all teachers and coaches. My daughter's teacher once commented to me that my daughter is the typical only child and typical gifted student, and I wanted to tell her, no, she's a typical dreamer. Which means there is nothing "typical" about her.

My mom gave me this book to see if it would help me understand my 4 year old son better. Boy did it! AND, it helped me understand MYSELF better! Even though I have the same "personality" as my son, I was going about teaching and discipline all wrong with him. This book explains that some behaviors of the "dreamer" are not malicious, defiant, or even being lazy. It is a whole different THOUGHT PROCESS than what we as parents and teachers are used to - you don't hear much about this type of child, and may times they are misdiagnosed as ADD. I have talked to several of my friends who shared with me similar problems they were having with their kids that they just didn't understand, so I bought them this book. Several of them said that this book has helped them understand and gave PRACTICAL USE in how to deal with the "dreamer" MORE THAN ANY OTHER BOOK THEY HAVE READ. And I cannot agree more! I cannot say enough about this book, and I HIGHLY recommend it!

I thought I had a strong willed second born child. So I tried the principles in Dobson's book Strong Willed Child, and it only made the battles worse. To make matters worse, my husband and I disagreed on how to parent this stubborn child and I was becoming emotionally exhausted. This book truly changed my family life. My now 11 year old dreamer has flourished with my change in parenting. I whole heartedly recommend this book. In fact I have 2 copies, one for myself and one that I lend out to my friends. Many of them have thanked me for it.

This book was suggested to me by a friend that knows my 4yr old daughter very well. We always thought she just had ADHD. I was astounded by how she fits into the "Dreamer" style. This book is easy reading and very, very interesting. The book also explains each style clearly and easily. Also it shocked me to learn a little about myself in the process and how my style could hurt my daughter. A real eye opener. This is a book that teachers and all involved with children and to be involved should read NO questions asked...

Finding balance between the ADHD debate and Dobson's "Strong Willed Child" the authors have given us new hope! We now have a much better understanding of our 8-year-old, and family life is so much better! Before buying into the ADHD labels and meds or the exasperating approaches to dealing with strong wills, every parent should read this work. We have recommended this to teachers . . . and they are thrilled with the transformation that has taken place in their classrooms as a result.

I am so excited about what I've learned by reading this book. I always thought that my Mother hated me and was intentionally tearing me apart (She didn't think I was much of a treat either). Now I realize that it all boils down to personality and how we look at the world. Differences in the way we perceive the world around us and the different types of things that drive our emotions and goals in life. Each example set off light bulbs, now I finally have the direction I've needed to try to get our relationship to be less volatile. Definitely worth the read!!!

When I read this book, I FINALLY understood my son, and MYSELF! It was an "Ah-HA!" moment for me!! The more I talked to parents who were frustrated with their kids, and asked them questions that were asked in the book,I realized there were a lot of frustrated, misunderstood kids out there as well. I was able to bring up some points from the book and was able to give my friends an "Ah-ha" moment too! One major thing was that they are misunderstood as being strong willed when in fact, they're not, and if children are treated as such,it actually makes things worse.
I found this book SO helpful(and I read a lot of these types of books)that I ordered over 10 copies to give to my friends(and my school and church library)who have kids like this.(I didn't want them to 'suffer' like I did)(Although I hate the term "dreamer" because it implies someone "spacy")

If you have found this book then you NEED it! I have always been interested in personality types but when my shild turned 5 I was desperate to 'figure her out'. After reading 'Strong-Willed Child' I was even more lost. Everything in that book did NOT work (any more with her than it did with me when MY parents tried it on ME!). It was about page 3 of this book that the light bulb turned on and I realized-I WAS A DREAMER! As is my daughter. This is the most applicable book on personalities I have ever read!