Stronger Than You Think: Becoming Whole Without Having to Be Perfect. A Woman's Guide [Paperback]

Kim Gaines Eckert (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 19, 2007

If you've known broken relationships . . . If you've ever felt like you don't measure up . . . If you've suspected something inside you might be missing or flawed . . . This book is for you. Kim Gaines Eckert, psychologist and counselor, has spent years helping women with a variety of life issues, from self-esteem and body image to developing healthy relationships and healing from the past. At the heart of their struggle, she believes, is not the desire to be perfect, but the desire to be whole. And wholeness, she is convinced, ultimately comes only from God. In this book Kim invites you into her conversations with women. You'll discover you are not alone in your struggles, and you'll learn from her practical and proven guidance for growth and change. And because growth is always more powerful in community, each chapter includes questions for you to explore in a small group. Let Kim Gaines Eckert show how God can mend your brokenness and help you become a whole, healthy person--the woman he created you to be.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This is not a self-help manual with the obligatory seven steps for growth or spiritual renewal. This is a book about women's brokenness. Eckert, an assistant professor of psychology and counseling at Tennessee's Lee University, says that failed relationships, body issues, sexual wounds, low self-esteem and dormant anger conspire to keep women from the wholeness they desire. In the first half, Eckert draws on the work of Mary Pipher and Kathleen Fischer to highlight the damaging messages women internalize, and the "negative self-talk" that can cripple them. These chapters are well done, with Eckert bringing the message home through various "tools for the journey"—practical suggestions of things that women can do to enjoy greater authenticity and wholeness. The book's second half really sings as Eckert tackles specific issues like anger, depression, self-image and—in the book's most poignant chapters—beauty and women's sexuality. Drawing on her own stories and those of women she has counseled (and mixing in song lyrics from Dar Williams and Natalie Merchant), Eckert asserts that women are stronger than they think they are: emboldened by Christ, they can find spiritual healing and emotional wholeness. (Feb.)
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Review

"The battleground for women's souls is in the mind. Stronger Than You Think equips women with the armor they need to combat society's messages, Satan's deceptions and our own internal misgivings." (Cara Davis, editor, Radiant magazine, and editorial director, RELEVANT Media Group )

"Stronger Than You Think offers to women and men sound theology and practical psychology on managing many of the perplexing dilemmas of being human. If you struggle with self-esteem, body image or relationship matters, then this book will help you to grow into the whole person that God created you to be." (Virginia Todd Holeman, Ph.D., professor of counseling, Asbury Theological Seminary )

"This excellent woman's guide, Stronger Than You Think: Becoming Whole Without Having to Be Perfect, offers a much-needed message to the women I know. Regardless of age, relational brokenness leads to internal pain and a profound longing for wholeness. Kim Eckert uses sound psychological insight and biblical truth to provide tools for the journey of growing inward and outward. It's an amazing experience to accept and love the you God created through healing relationships." (Judith Balswick, marriage and family therapist, and coauthor of A Model for Marriage )

"Solid, thought-provoking, healing, challenging. These four words describe my reaction to Stronger Than You Think. With the mix of the straightforward teacher and the insightful therapist, Kim Eckert gives women a book that speaks to our heads and our hearts. If it is time for you to take a positive, life-altering journey, this woman's guide is for you. I loved it." (Jan Silvious, author of Foolproofing Your Life and Big Girls Don't Whine )

"This book will make you think and feel and grow. Kim Gaines Eckert draws on her extensive knowledge in Christian theology, spiritual formation and psychology, and yet makes it practical for everyday life. This is not just a helpful book for women, but also for the men who walk alongside women as friends, colleagues and lifelong partners." (Mark R. McMinn, Ph.D., professor and author of Finding Our Way Home: Turning Back to What Matters Most )

"Every woman who worships the god of perfection can come to know the God of the universe while discovering the wonder of who God has made you to be." (Stephen Arterburn, author of Healing Is a Choice )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 241 pages
• Publisher: IVP Books (January 19, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830833730
• ISBN-13: 978-0830833733
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #110,271 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An authentic and worthwhile conversation, February 17, 2007

By 

J. Hammond, Ph.D. - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stronger Than You Think: Becoming Whole Without Having to Be Perfect. A Woman's Guide (Paperback)

Kim Gaines Eckert's ideas are thoughtfully presented in this new and sometimes surprising guide for women. Her writing is fluid throughout. I believe men and women will find her voice to be authentic and the advice, while accessible, well beyond the typical parlor psychology one finds in many "self-help" books.

She also seems to understand the inherent limitations of a mass-appeal life guide; avoiding the common mistake of trying to do too much within the scope of a single text. Instead, she succeeds in creating a solid handbook for navigating some of the more sensitive and complex contemporary issues related to women's overall wellbeing. In particular, her discussion of female sexuality is a virtuoso performance. This chapter alone is worth the price of the book.

Eckert seamlessly weaves practical counseling with illuminating narrative to convince the reader that brokenness is not hopelessness. Her presentation is an elegant three-way balance of strong personal faith, solid empirical research, and clinical methodology. Eckert is insightful without grandiosity; helpful without condescension; and vulnerable without torturing the reader with endless feet-of-clay anecdotes. I commend her book to anyone who enjoys listening to intelligent women talk about important issues.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Title Could Not Be More Fitting..., February 17, 2007

By 

RW - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stronger Than You Think: Becoming Whole Without Having to Be Perfect. A Woman's Guide (Paperback)

Stronger Thank You Think is, put simply, a book about empowerment of a woman using a Christian basis. If you are going through a difficult time in your life regarding aspects such as depression, career shifts, motherhood, family issues, and/or abuse and want a God-centered approach to assist you with those problems (and more), this book is definitely for you. However, for me to say or for you think that this book is simply another "Christian women's issues" book would be a grave mistake. This book does deal with the more common issues facing most women today and does deal with those problems from a Christian perspective; however, the author also manages to do a splendid job of actually giving the reader practical advice that goes very far beyond the traditional advice of "pray through it and things will change".
It is this practical advice that makes this a book that is fully capable of standing on its own when being read and used by someone who is not a Christian or may want something more than the traditional apporach. The author does a great job of making this book have a more "personal" feel to it with the practical way that this book is presented as well due to the case studies that are placed throughout the eleven chapters of this book. The practical and personal feel of this book is further enhanced by the reflection questions at the end of the book (each set of questions corresponding with its respective chapter). Add to this personal and practical feel the interactive approach that the reflection questions and the author's very reader-friendly way of writing, and Stronger Than You Think is definitely not like other books that one might typically read on women's issues.
The main focus of Stronger Than You Think is the general brokeness that all of us (men and women) have within our lives and the desire that we all have to be whole. This book does an equisite job of staying on that track without going off on wild tangents or trying to throw a bunch of psychological jargon around to make a point. The author uses everyday language in a very readable manner to get her points across, and it is this readability that makes this book suitable for the high-school dropout as much as the Ph.D or the CEO. The "accessibility" of this book also makes it reader-friendly for men. This is done by giving some very useful insight into the psychology and issues of many women with the books subject manner in general as well as the reflection questions being gender-friendly overall. Realstically, how many books about women can be given that praise in relation to men.
If you are looking for a very jargon-laden book that reads like a traditional textbook, this book is not for you. However, if you are looking for a book that is going to give you practice advice in how to help yourself become more open to who you are and what drives you towards becoming more of a whole being through "being real" with yourself in a practical and/or spiritual way, this book is definitely one that you should own.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A woman's guide we should all own, February 19, 2007

By 

Cam - See all my reviews

This review is from: Stronger Than You Think: Becoming Whole Without Having to Be Perfect. A Woman's Guide (Paperback)

There are so many Christian "self-help" books on the market written for women about relationships, marriage, personal problems, depression, sexuality, prayer life, etc. However this book is very different. "Stronger Than You Think" does address many of these issues, but the overall theme of the book in not self-help or how-to steps, it is celebrating the brokenness we all experience in our lives and how God can lead us to wholeness.

The author is well qualified to write on the subject material. I feel like a lot of Christian books for women are just written by a "stay-at-home mother of three" or the wife of a pastor or someone else who may not have as much credibility. Kim Gaines Eckert is a wife and mother, but she is also a clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology with a Doctorate degree. To me, this made her writing not only more credible, but it was also backed up with the knowledge and experience of a very educated and accomplished professional.

Despite her professional education and experience, the author writes in a very "readable" manner. She draws from her teaching and counseling practice, but also includes many personal stories of her own pain and brokenness. Among my favorite personal stories she shares are when she was a preteen and no one came to her birthday party (who hasn't experienced adolescent humiliation!), her struggles with weight and body image, and the tragic story of a friend who became paralyzed in an accident. The author also includes a lot of examples of women she has seen in counseling that I could relate to: women who struggle with a sense of self or using their voice. In addition, Eckert includes Bible verses, song lyrics, quotes from Pipher and other groundbreaking psychologists, and many references to prominent Christian authors such as Oswald Chambers and Brennan Manning. References such as these help the reading flow and encourage readers to connect to the material.

I highly recommend "Stronger Than You Think" to every woman, and also to men. For those of us who feel incomplete, somehow not quite right, and just plain imperfect, the book allows us to learn that our brokennes can be used by God in the lives of others. This book helped me to discover and share who I really am with others, and for that I am grateful.