Stuff White People Like: A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions [Paperback]

Christian Lander (Author)

Book Description

Release date: July 1, 2008

They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees.

They believe they’re unique, yet somehow they’re all exactly the same, talking about how they “get” Sarah Silverman’s “subversive” comedy and Wes Anderson’s “droll” films. They’re also down with diversity and up on all the best microbrews, breakfast spots, foreign cinema, and authentic sushi. They’re organic, ironic, and do not own TVs.

You know who they are: They’re white people. And they’re here, and you’re gonna have to deal. Fortunately, here’s a book that investigates, explains, and offers advice for finding social success with the Caucasian persuasion. So kick back on your IKEA couch and lose yourself in the ultimate guide to the unbearable whiteness of being.

Praise for STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE:

“The best of a hilarious Web site: an uncannily accurate catalog of dead-on predilections. The Criterion Collection of classic films? Haircuts with bangs? Expensive fruit juice? ‘Blonde on Blonde’ on the iPod? The author knows who reads The New Yorker and who wears plaid.”
–Janet Maslin’s summer picks, CBS.com

“The author of "Stuff White People Like" skewers the sacred cows of lefty Caucasian culture, from the Prius to David Sedaris. . . . It gently mocks the habits and pretensions of urbane, educated, left-leaning whites, skewering their passion for Barack Obama and public transportation (as long as it's not a bus), their idle threats to move to Canada, and joy in playing children's games as adults. Kickball, anyone?”
–Salon.com

“A handy reference guide with which you can check just how white you are. Hint: If you like only documentaries and think your child is gifted, you glow in the dark, buddy.”
–NY Daily News

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Christian Lander is the creator of the website Stuff White People Like. He is a Ph.D. dropout who was the 2006 public speaking instructor of the year at Indiana University. He has lived in Toronto, Montreal, Copenhagen, Tucson, Indiana, and now Los Angeles, where he lives with his wife, Jess, a photographer who contributed many of the photos in the book.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

1. COFFEE
There is no doubt that white people love coffee. Yes, it’s true that Asians like iced coffee and people of all races
enjoy a cup. But it is a certainty that the first person at your school to drink coffee was a white person. It was obvious that they didn’t enjoy it, but they did it anyway, until they liked it—like cigarettes.

As white people begin to age, a genuine taste for coffee will emerge. During this time white people
will also develop a self- proclaimed “addiction.” This leads to them saying things like “You do not want to see me
before I get my morning coffee.” White guys will also call it anything but coffee: “rocket fuel,” “java,” “joe,” “black gold,”
and so forth. It’s pretty much garbage all around.

It’s worth noting that where white people buy coffee is almost as important as the drink itself. For the most part, white people love Starbucks, although they will profess to hate how the chain is now a multinational corporation. This hatred is often sublimated by their relief at seeing one in an airport. The best place for white people to drink coffee is at a locally owned coffeeshop that offers many types of drinks, free Wi- Fi, and some sort of message board that is peppered with notices about rooms for rent and bands looking for bass players.

White people are given extra points for buying Fair Trade coffee, because paying the extra $2 means they are making a difference while their peers are drinking liquid oppression.

2. RELIGIONS THEIR PARENTS DON'T BELONG TO
White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. This usually means that they will believe in any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus. The most popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah, and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but that’s much rarer, since you have to make real sacrifices and actually go to a mosque.

For the most part, white people prefer religions that produce artifacts and furniture that fit into their home or wardrobe. They are also particularly drawn to religions that do not require a lot of commitment or donations.

When a white person tells you “I’m a Buddhist/Hindu/Kabbalahist,” the best thing to do is ask how they arrived at their religious decision. The story will likely involve a trip to Thailand or a college class on religion.

3. FILM FESTIVALS
White people can’t get enough of film festivals, especially Sundance, Toronto, and Cannes. This love can be due to
a number of factors.
Fact #1: 90 percent of white people have taken a film class at some point in their life.
Fact #2: White people like feeling smart without doing work—two hours in a theater is easier than ten hours with a book.
Fact #3: If white people aren’t going backpacking, they generally like to travel with a specific purpose.
Fact #4: 75 percent of white people believe they either have the potential to or will become filmmakers/screenwriters/
directors at some point.
Fact #5: White people hate stuff that is “mainstream”—so they go to film festivals, where they see movies that every other person in their demographic wants to see. It’s a pretty sweet way to rebel.
Fact #6: It is required by white- person law that you publicly declare foreign cinema to be better than Hollywood movies, and on par with indie film.
Fact #7: White people earn credibility by being into films from strange countries: “Oh, you liked Sideways? Yeah, I didn’t see it, I’m really into Serbian film now. They had a great retrospective at the Vancouver Festival.”

Product Details

• Paperback: 211 pages
• Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks (July 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812979915
• ISBN-13: 978-0812979916
• Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.5 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (209 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,794 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #76 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Love, Sex & Marriage

More About the Author

Christian Lander is the creator of the website Stuff White People Like. He is a Ph.D. dropout who was the 2006 public speaking instructor of the year at Indiana University. He has lived in Toronto, Montreal, Copenhagen, Tucson, Indiana, and now Los Angeles, where he lives with his wife, Jess, a photographer.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

95 of 100 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A day in the life of a very white guy July 14, 2009

By Timothy B. Riley HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

My gifted (#16), multilingual (#78) 28 year old son (his mother and I are divorced (#66)) has recently returned from a year of teaching English in Japan (#11, 19, 42, 58, 71, 72,) to attend graduate school (#47 and #81) and he visited me today. We had some freshly brewed gourmet coffee (#1) and ate a couple of $12 sandwiches (#63) while watching several episodes of the Wire (#85). As he left he borrowed some of my Criterion Collection (#106) DVD's of 1950's classic Japanese films (#116). And this was just today!

I thought that this book was hilarious, and I love the sub-title (The Definitive Guide to the Unique Tastes of Millions). Although less than half of the "stuff" applied to me I really got a kick out of it and bought a couple more copies for friends.

Let's clear up one thing though; this was not meant to apply to ALL white people. I have two brothers (both republican, blue collar conservatives) and I would be surprised if even two items on the list applied to them and they lead happy, fulfilled lives (or so they tell me). This book is directed to a certain sub-sect of the white population. We like to think that we are different but many of us are different in the exact same ways. We know who we are and we should be able to laugh at ourselves (#103, Self Deprecating Humor).

110 of 127 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Laugh Out Loud (or Secretly Snicker) Book About Human Foibles July 5, 2008

By Grady Harp HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

Christian Lander - with some photographic help from his wife Jessica Lander - has succeeded in transforming into book form his blog site STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE and the result is a compendium of 150 idiosyncrasies that mark white people as a groupie well worth 'mocking'. Lander writes so well that his zingers remain on target while providing entertainment for the reader instead of producing a mockery or lambast too personal to continue. The first clue to his universal approach is the subtitle of the book, 'A Definitive Guide to the Unique Taste of Millions', and if you don't catch the humor in that then much of the book will be lost on you!

After reading some of the 'Stuff' Lander lists we begin to feel the artifice of Lander's thinking; the long list of everyday items, as defined or described by Lander, spreads in comic relief the pretentiousness, the shallow desire to be 'with it', the countless fads we indulge while denying the commonality of those items, and the way 'white people' are perceived by the world at large - both at home and abroad. It has been said that nothing is funnier than reality and this book proves that statement 150 times - with many more thoughts initiated by the book that extend the depth of comedy in the 'unique tastes' we claim. For instance, one favorite thing to discuss is public transportation, heralded as a big city luxury worth expanding into the little cities, but stopping short when the word 'bus' enters the conversation. 'When it comes to the subject it's best to understand that white people do not recognize public transit as a viable option until a subway line is built that runs directly from their house to their work. Until that time, public transportation is a luxury only for New Yorkers and Europeans, sort of like opera.'

Other topics addressed range from Netflix, Veganism/Vegetarianism, Microbreweries, Yoga, Tea, Black Friends/Gay Friends, Portland, Oregon to San Francisco prejudices, Bakeries, Hardwood Floors, Integrity (versus 'selling out'), Natural Medicine, Plays, Cheese, Therapy - the list seems endless. From Following Their Dreams, to where to visit/vacation (Third World Countries for all the wrong reasons) to the importance of knowing how to give 'the good dinner party', Lander finds truths that cause us to ache a bit in acknowledging but force us to relax and really laugh at how each of these item is so very true.

To continue on another thing ('stuff') that Lander addresses, Awareness of just how each of these traits define us in the brush with reality that will perhaps not only entertain us while reading this wisely humorous book, but will also turn on the light to the acceptance that 'white people' have become as marginalized as other social groups who have long since found audiences who delight in the 'truth confessionals' that fill our computer YouTube and TVs - oh, but then real white people don't own TVs.... Christian Lander has a major hit on his hands. Read this and share this. It is hilariously entertaining! Grady Harp, July 08

63 of 76 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Eventually, The Author Admits It Sucks December 17, 2009

By Harkius VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

I wasn't offended by this book like many people. I found it entertaining. For about ten entries. Then I realized that the repetition was killing me. Every single entry can be broken down to the same exact formula.

Part One: Title.
Name something that a large subset of yuppies, especially the ones in TriBeCa, SoHo, SoCal, Portland, and Seattle, like. This can be virtually anything, as he points out with bottled water, recycling, music, etc.

Part Two: The Riff.
Spend 4-5 paragraphs mocking this affinity, and how it reflects the needs of white people to simultaneously be different and also the same.

Part Three: Social Advice
Spend 1-2 paragraphs on how you can manipulate this affinity to manipulate and gain advantage over white people.

Repeat. Ad nauseam.

Around Number 105 of this book of 150 entries, the author finally reaches Self-Deprecation. As it turns out, one of the things that white people like most is: Myself--. (Bonus points if you get that joke.) Unfortunately, even the author is afraid to make the joke that white people also seem to like repetition. Perhaps that was 151, and the editors capped it at 150. The world may never know. (Although...I can easily imagine a sequel, MORE Stuff White People Like), that is filled with the same lame formula.

But none of these things were the crucial problem, really. The biggest problem is that this joke is only funny like five or ten times. After twenty times you want to just stop reading most of the entries, unless you come across one that particularly suits you. After another 15-20 in this fashion, you lose interest again, and just start reading the titles.

Best way to enjoy this? Read the website, one entry every few weeks. Saves time, money, and may reamin engaging in this fasion.