Customer Reviews

Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make with Women

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Sure, I admit I liked the title, because stumbling naked in the dark is how I've often felt when trying to date people, and even later, when trying to work through a failing romantic relationship, or failing close friendship. But as a trainer, I'm intrigued by the fact that the author--also a trainer--based this book on his company's results-oriented training programs.

As the producer of a hard and soft science and tech podcast by and for geeks, I read a lot of dating books and websites to uncover and de-mystify the best geek dating tips for my listeners. This book is the best male perspective I've read so far. It's a quick read, and offers practical advice that could be used at any stage in a relationship. I particularly like the "female scale of interest/staying off sides" formula for interacting with women (the car salesman analogy the author gives makes perfect sense), and I also found the "hug quota/tactile needs and energy" concept to be fascinating, along with the effect "tactile debt" can have on a man's handling of physical interactions such as sex. The "opening 'no' agreement" in which "no" is established as an acceptable answer is also logical. In general, this author recommends men treat women with respect, which of course I appreciate, being female and all. ;)

Thus far, I'd recommend this book above any other I've read, especially if an individual (specifically a man) wishes to read just one book. "how to succeed with women", by Ron Louis and David Copeland is also quite good (and quite long), but offers a few different perspectives and is very much oriented towards men seeking to engage women in sex as the primary motive (relationships are second, but the sexual emphasis is notable; I offer this as an observation rather than as a criticism). Fenton's book is less targeted strictly towards sex, and manages to pack a great deal of useful, scientific information into a mere 127 pages.

This book hits the nail on the head! It touches on all the complaints my girlfriends and I have had for years about men. If men read this book and incorporated its very simple principles into their actions, there'd be a lot less single people out there. It's very intelligently written by new author Brad Fenton. His distillation of behavioral techniques into relationship-building principles (gleaned from years of teaching sales training to businesspeople and organizations) is right on the mark! I especially liked the section on not becoming attached to the outcome when a guy meets a girl. Concentrating on the getting-to-know-you process, not pushing the woman to make a decision and learning how to make no an acceptable response are much needed ideas. We (women) all want a man to listen to us more instead of telling us what we should do. This book explains, in eye-opening language, how men really can get into our psyche and act in a way that will make them infinitely more attractive. I am buying this book and sending it to the all guy-friends I know!

When I first purchased this book, I was purchasing it for the sheer hell of it as I had bought about 5-6 other books on the wide world of dating. Fenton lies out a clear, concise formula for greater success with women both on the first date and after the first date. This isn't a pickup book though, there are no clever lines or strategies to get to that first date, although you could apply some of the first date techniques to pre-first dates as well. There are no magical spots to meet women here, when to call, etc. However, it is a book that will explain a great deal of misconceptions many guys, including myself, have about women and what buttons to push and not to push for gaining that compatibility factor with any woman. More importantly, this book gives you the right mindset in dealing with the opposite sex. Perhaps, that's more important than many of these "pickup 101" and "where and how to seduce women" books. Because if you don't have the right mindset, you can read the player books all you want, but it won't make a damn bit of difference if you lack confidence and the right frame of mind around women. That being said, the four star rating is largely due to the fact that some scenarios the author envisions, I just can't see happening too often. The wording that Fenton suggests in some scenarios seems a little too wordy and almost without a doubt, forced in some cases. Overall, a solid book and I'd recommend "always talk to strangers" by David Wygant for a solid pair of books on the enormous realm of dating.

Amazingly, I've been thru what the book has mentioned. I knew almost nothing about interacting with woman on a date and as a consequence of that, I blew my chance. Feeling pretty down, I was lucky to stumble upon this book. Although I'm approaching 29, I did not develop myself in the area of courting, dating woman. After reading this book, many of my questions were answered in one way or another, making me understand why my target was behaving, reponding, questioning in that manner and what areas I have faltered. This book will be good for those who are dating someone but don't know what to expect. I wish I would have read this earlier. Well...they say late is better than never. Not everything in this book will apply. It depends on your background. But I thought it has great content for late developers like me. Cheers, a guy from Singapore.

This book was good and made me think about perceptions of women and people in general. The greatest thing about it is before I read it I would see good looking women when I was out but not actually walk over and talk to them. After I read it I have been able to go over and talk to the women I want to. The part about mindset indifference and aching tells you why women do things and make decisions and why they will or will not want to talk to you. You learn how to approach women in a laid back and confident way.

I can see how the woman reviewer saw this as negative, but I believe if you give it an honest read and the full context of what the author is trying to convey to men, then you cannot help but come away with a fuller understanding of your own psyche as well as women's. This is not a book of manipulation of women. In fact, the author's point is to find out what the woman truly wants, and if you are able to give her that, then maybe the two of you are a good match. But just like fire, it can be used for good or evil. The one thing you will not find in this book is where to go meet women, hence 4 stars. Perhaps it really is a 5. It is a quick read and you will gain some simple yet powerful tools to help you with yourself and women.

Ok, my first impression after I finished the book was one of skepticism. It wasn't until I saw some of these methods in action that I was amazed at how valid some (not all) of the points were. Granted, I still question the effectiveness of these methods in ALL situations, but lets face it, there is no sure fire way to be successful when it comes to relationships - it's all about trial and error and finding what is most suitable for your personality - and lets face it, if you are reading this book, you are obviously not complacent with your current methods. One of the most enlightening aspects of this read was that a lot of what is stated seems so obvious, but we as people often overlook. Is this book the bible to successful relationships, probably not, is it yet another useful tool to add to ones arsenal, definitely. Offering some insightful spins on human interaction, one doesn't have to read between the lines to see this applied to many other aspects of relationships - intimate and other. All in all, whether you agree or disagree with the methodology - you will come out with something more than you had before. Highly recommend!

I wish men would read this book. It gives me hope of meeting a confident and intelligent man who takes initiative. Mr. Fenton knows exactly what women are looking for in a man. I have purchased this book for several of my single male friends who have successfully used the techniques. Thank you!!!! Someone finally gets it!

This is the best book on dating. I have read it over three times now and it has helped me a lot. It is hard to explain this book because it talks about scenarios that always happen over and over with women but you never really realize the significance. This book makes you aware of these important hidden make or break moments. It explains the importance of recognizing these instances and then explains that if you are confident and do the right things you're going to create attraction.

I read this book over and over again while highlighting and taking notes. In the first chapter I was able to identify with the author, and acknowledge that I was the type of guy to whom he was referring.

If you are like me, and suddenly lose all sense of self once you meet a woman that intrigues you on all levels, you NEED this book. Most of the content is very relevant to day to day dating, and acts as a quick reference guide to almost any situation. I bought this three months into dating a girl I really like and it immediately helped me overcome certain insecurities while allowing me to still be myself and give the girl I'm dating the ability to choose me. It's refreshing! Finally I understand how to be the "real" me in any dating situation, and how to feel confident no matter what the outcome may be.

I wouldn't recommend this book to men who are looking to just get laid, or who view women as objects. This book is for guys like me, who, believe there is something real out there, and are willing to work hard on themselves and take the necessary time to have "it."