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Stupid Jokes, Short Funny Jokes and Funny One Liners: Wit, Wisdom and Weirdness! [Kindle Edition]

Ricky Gravitas
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.07
 
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Book Description

There is a time and place for every joke.
Just as there is a time and place for every person.
Even if that person is a waste of time and space.

At our last 25 year school reunion, I was speaking to a beautiful, blonde girl who had always been one of the “in” crowd at school. She had married rich, which was also my ambition in life, and had practiced being shallow in many areas of expertise. Making small talk, I said to her, “It’s amazing how time passes, eh?”

Beautiful blonde brushed back a strand of shining hair from her forehead, screwed up her nose in the most cute fashion, a fashion that, to quote a great writer, would have made a Bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, and replied to me seriously, “I know exactly what you mean. One minute it is, like, three o’clock and before you know it, it is, like four o’clock.”

God I loved that girl.

The only things that kept us apart were:

I am not good looking.
I am not rich.

Knowing when to pull out a joke – and, more importantly, when not to, makes all the difference between bringing the house down and bringing the house down on you.

For example: I was working in a Human Resources department for a large multi-national and the HR Manager was bemoaning how she had to weed through so many applications for the one position. I helpfully pointed out that my method was to split the applications into two piles and then throw one of the piles in the bin, as I didn’t want to work with unlucky people anyway.

I thought it was funny.

Oddly enough, I no longer work in HR.

There are millions of jokes out there. Not all of them people. But all of those jokes are just waiting for the perfect time to be told. Read the following jokes and laugh. At some time in the near future you will find that life presents to you exactly the right moment to throw one out there.

Laughter is good. You should laugh as much as possible every day. If you can bring laughter into the lives of others, you will be sought out and make friends easily. And remember, women always say they love a guy who can make them laugh.

Or is good looking and rich.

I can respect that.


Product Details

  • File Size: 2373 KB
  • Print Length: 58 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009K1WFNU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #277,619 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars WONDERFUL December 29, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A quick read, but worth it. I do not regret getting this book. Good joke books are hard to come by.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Curious? October 11, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I agree with the other reviewers, and think the "man dressed as an egg" joke is one of the best I've seen in a while. (After some jokes, the author adds a thought or two in parenthesis. Sometimes those are funny in their own right. The added comment on this one is funny, too.) I dare you to read this joke and then claim it's not all it's cracked up to be. ;)

Another good one describes defines the opposite of "imagination." And the one about "Curiosity" landing on Mars made me chuckle.

Both High-brow and low-brow humor are included. The book needs a little editing, but the errors aren't very distracting. And a few less ads would have increased the quality of the book. But I recommend that you spend a few minutes reading it. Between the ones that make you groan, one just might put a smile on your face. Personally, I think the funny ones are so funny that it's worth reading the ones that make you groan to get to read the ones that make you laugh. : D
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars It's actually funny... October 11, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I didn't think it would be. The first 2/3s is funnier than the last 1/3, but even the last third of this book is amusing. There are a few pictures in the book - internet memes you may well have seen before. One joke was repeated in the last 1/3 (and told better in it's first iteration) and there was one joke I didn't laugh at - whether the joke failed or I did, I can't say.

Some of the jokes aren't going to stand the test of time - tied to current events that are already fading memories, but the majority of them pass the guffaw test. For a book with such a long title, "Stupid Jokes, Short Funny Jokes and Funny One Liners (Jokes for all Occasions)" is fairly short and a quick read. It's a funny, quick read though, and worth three bucks even if you never open it again.

I'm with the reviewer who picked the Man in the Egg Suit as her favorite from the book. That one cracked me up too...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Did you hear the one about the Bubble Wrap? No? October 10, 2012
By Kristie
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Okay, I'll admit it to the world! On the very FIRST joke, I laughed right out loud! How hysterical! It was a blonde joke and I'm blonde, so I can laugh all I want to! : ) Laughter IS good and I love the line in this book "And remember, woman always say they love a guy who can make them laugh!" And you know what? It is TRUE!

P.S. One of my favorite jokes in this book is "A man dressed as an egg...." Plus - The one about the bubble wrap in the corner! Ha! I'm still laughing about that one! This is priceless! And so is having a good belly laugh! or two, or three! You have to read this! Love it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Cool jokes December 28, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book made me laugh sometimes but not all the time because some I did not get but other than that it is a great book
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's really funny!!! December 10, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I feel a little guilty for giving 5 stars and I haven't finished the book, but I'm on location 205 of 1093 and I'm laughing so hard I'm going to have to take a bathroom break before I continue or I'll have an accident! From some of the terms ( I can't spell "colloquialisms") in the jokes the author may be Australian--maybe that's why the jokes are fresh and sometimes a little quirky. I got this book free on a one day Kindle special and if I had known it was going to be this good I would have bought it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A bit of fun October 15, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was fun. It's a bit of light-hearted reading that had me giggling most times and the occasional 'choking on my coffee' moments. It takes the edge off a bad day. I would recommend this for some 'escape' time.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good for some laughs! October 10, 2012
By Sean
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book is great for just a pleasurable, funny read or for an education on how to make other people laugh. I have always been a fan of one-liners and I think this book really had some great ones. I will certainly be sharing some of these at my family's Christmas party this year :)
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Ok, but mostly corny
Published 1 month ago by Bocker
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
Only got a couple of pages in and decided n
Published 2 months ago by Jennifer N Tindle
2.0 out of 5 stars If You Like British Humor...
Humor is subjective. I subjected myself to this and found maybe two or three things that made me chuckle ... a little.
If you like British humor you may like this. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Hal B
4.0 out of 5 stars A nice diversion from the worrys of life.
Just a few nice witty little jokes, bloke.
Published 2 months ago by D. Mullins
3.0 out of 5 stars cute
Many of the jokes have non-US terms (e.g. "Loo" rather than "Toilet") which take away the full effect of the humor. Read more
Published 3 months ago by S. Grabowski
5.0 out of 5 stars Stop, stop, no more jokes, if I laugh any harder I'm going to burst:-D
This author should be pun-ished, he should be forced to do pun-ance in a pun-itentury, he should get a cell with re-pun-sal, and be subjected to the pit and the pun-dulum, anyway... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Paul Cooke
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh-out-loud funny!
This was a delight to read and often I found myself trying to remember the best ones to tell my husband later!
Published 5 months ago by Amy Hurewitz
4.0 out of 5 stars Just what the title says ...
I grabbed this as a free download, and read a little at a time, between other books. Most of the jokes are groaners rather than laughers, just as the title "Stupid Jokes"... Read more
Published 5 months ago by The Bionic Stan
5.0 out of 5 stars Quick Fun Read
This is the first joke book I have ever bought. Or at least that I can remember buying and probably even reading because humor is so hard to convey in writing. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Rochelle Gordon
1.0 out of 5 stars stupid jokes
Waste of time.Not worth the money (and it was free)' sorry I ordered it. I thought the book was the biggest joke.
Published 7 months ago by alpacalady
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