Customer Reviews

Stupid Teenagers Must Die

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

Cheezy? Yep. Poorly filmed? You betcha. Zero budget? They proudly claim it on their posters. Brilliant anyway (or because of it)? For sure.

This movie celebrates (and makes fun of) everything that was classic about the 80s teen horror genre: Characters with absolutely no depth, fitting into a stereotyped roll they never escape for a moment; teenagers trying to survive a slaying by some mysterious force they disturbed by doing something lamely adolescent; completely gratuitous nudity; impossible amounts of blood coming out of victims; slow moving zombies; great one-liners... and our hero even wears a Michael Jackson jacket!

This is not an all-out spoof like Scary Movie, but more a tribute film to the lost innocence of the 80s horror movies... when being scared and grossed out could also be a fun, silly, sexy, and goofy good time!

So, we have reviews from two people thus far that have not watched the movie at all. One guy stopped 20 minutes into the film and the other guy is confused or something. lol

STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE is an independent horror flick that is done in tribute to 80's horror movies. All the classic characters are here, the jock, the rebel, the hot chick and the nerds. Anybody who grew up watching 80's horror movies can easily see where the writers and director of the movie got their ideas. Like in those old 80's films, the characters are one dimensional and the acting at times is silly, but isn't that the point they were trying to make? I sure think so.

The story is simple, a group of teenagers spend the night in a house where a man murdered his family and these kids get the brilliant idea to try to raise his spirit. As the deaths start to occur, several female characters get naked and the other characters make stupid decisions. How friggin' 80's horror is that?! The story sticks to the normal formulas, but there are couple of nice little ideas here and there. I really enjoyed the possessed/zombie type thing that starts to happen at the end.

As for the film itself, being an indepedent movie that had little to no budget at all, the film does suffer at times. The sound at certain points in the movie is pretty bad and some of the lighting is terrible. Sure, all those cheesy 80's horror flicks had very little budgets, but this movie makes those look like they had a Spider-Man 3 sized budget.

However, you shouldn't let these production problems keep you from enjoying the good the movie has to offer. Sure, it is not perfect, but the movie has some decent ideas, a bunch of good laughs and actress Lindsay Gareth's amazing breasts.

STMD! is one of the most fun and enjoyable low-budget films I've seen in quite some time. Director Jeff Smith (who also served as co-writer, cinematographer and editor) definitely shows his love of underappreciated 80's horror films with this movie! Anyone who loves the cheesiness, preposterous situations, wacky and stereotypical characters of 80's horror movies will definitely love this very tongue-in-cheek homage to the past.

STMD! definitely lives up to the qualities described in the poster and then some. It has all the "excessive violence" and "gratuitous nudity" that is reminiscent of those entertaining 80's horror movies we all love. I had a blast watching STMD! From the 80's outfits that the stereotypical characters wear to the blood splatter to the goofy tone I just couldn't get enough!

How can anyone rate this more than 1 star? This was awful in so many ways. Terrible acting, direction, story. Anything that might have worked was just sunk by the combination of the awfulness of the multiple problems. Whatever camera they used looks like a 25 year old camcorder because the film is so dark and grainy throughout. I managed to sit through the whole thing and nothing can save this one from being one of the worst films I have ever seen. I have seen junior high kids shoot a horror film among themselves that looked, sounded and had better effects than this disaster. Unless you are having an Ed Wood bad picture party, stay away from this.

Sex and nudity do not alone make a movie. This film seems to think that those are sufficient elements to define a quality movie. Other than sex and nudity, all other required elements for a quality movie are painfully lacking. The plot is ridiculous, the acting unforgivably bad and the production quality is grating to the eyes/ears. I am a huge fan of low budget and B horror, but common among all those films is a decent plot, decent acting, decent production values. This film is a waste.

I should have paid more attention to the reviews. Being a fan of horror satire (SCARY MOVIE etc) I thought this would be a great addition to the ones I already have. It isn't. In fact, it isn't even staying. I'll give it away as soon as I can find some poor unsuspecting soul who'll take it. It was a waste of my time and money.

We have old looking teenagers gathering at a house that has a bad history. The resulting blood/mayhem is predictable and boring. Couple that with bad audio, non-existant effort on camera work, shoddy sets, amature actors and a script that should be shredded, we have a movie here that should come with warning labels. I'm thinking "DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE" or "IF YOU LIKE MOVIES WITH NO BUDGET, NO TALENT, NO HUMOR AND NO REDEEMABLE VALUE THIS MIGHT JUST BE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR"

Normally I try to find something good to say about the things I review, but honestly, this one totally defeats me.

From its cover Stupid Teenagers Must Die looks like a comedy parody of 80's slasher flicks on a par with `scary movie.' It is not. What it is an homage to that golden age' of slasher flicks where the writing wonderfully captures the spirit of those films but who's production values are so amazingly non-existent that the film becomes all but unwatchable.

Any one who knows the schlock fests that were 1980's slasher flicks knows the set up. Kids, teens or collage age, out for some illicit fun go into a place they shouldn't, often with a `history' of death, where some guy is going to prank them to try and scare the kids and they start dying in gruesome ways that redecorate the set with gore. The kids are in situations where anyone with two functioning grey cells should know `get out NOW' but being stupid teens bent on proving Darwin right, they don't with predictable results.

That is the genre and to some extent the film. The writing seems to accurately recreate not just the lingo of the period but the interests and the fashion, clothes and hair. On paper, this COULD be fun, but unfortunately the delivery fails badly. These films had a low budget, seriously low, laughingly low but Stupid teenagers' takes this to a new low and it destroys the work.

The sound quality is not just poor but variable so you wonder `did they fix it?" only to have it go again. The mikes are too far from the actors too often resulting in you straining to hear what they say. Even worse are the visuals which have a grainy filter over them, I say that in the hope it was intentional, but it makes you want to yell "wipe off the lens."

Yes the 80's slasher flicks had low budgets and plot lines that sometimes bad you wonder what the writer/director had been drinking and when he'd share it with the audience, but they also understood that visuals were what they could bring to the table, if nothing else. In their delivery the makers of "Stupid Teenagers'" forgot this. The writing perfectly captures the mood of the early slasher flicks but the production values are so low as to make the 80's films it emulates look like Avatar by comparison. With lousy sound not helping this rapidly becomes unwatchable and unintelligible. Save your money, buy a reissue of a real 80's slasher flick.

In this parody/tribute to the greatest time in horror movie history - the 1980's - a group of stupid teens are getting together to host a seance in the house of the notorious Murder McGee, who butchered his entire family a few years back and buried them in the back yard. As I'm sure you can guess, things go from bad to worse faster than you can say "Where's the beef??" and in typical 80's horror movie fashion the deaths are bloody, the dialogue is cheesy, and beautiful women are taking off their clothes every chance they get. Good times...

No clique or 80's horror movie clichéd characterizations are left unrepresented here. In fact, no stone was left unturned at all - we have the cool hero, his innocent girlfriend, the Goth chick, the tough thug (think John Bender), the hot blonde who keeps losing her shirt, the shy dork in love with the hot blonde that keeps losing her shirt, a couple of gorgeous half-naked lesbians, and two big geeks.

As you can plainly see, the cast is pretty big. Usually, larger casts are where things can fall apart quickly, with one or two sour apples buggering up the whole barrel. Not in this case though. Not a single cast member left me disappointed. The acting was very well done. Everyone from the cool hero in his Thriller jacket played by Jovan Meredith to the grooovy Goth chick played by Renee Dorian to Geeks One & Two played by Cory Assink & Jonathan Brett - they all played it straight, brought their A-game, and knocked it out of the park. If you're a fan of Gary & Wyatt in Weird Science, you'll immediately fall in love with the geeks.

Director/co-writer Jeff C. Smith is a guy to watch for in the future, trust me on this. If this is what he can do with a low budget, there are nothing but good things ahead for him when he gets more money for future projects. The characters were dead on; the atmosphere was perfect; the laughs were huge; the blood flowed, and squirted, and sprayed beautifully - it was just like watching a horror movie from the 1980's. Call this one "THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets NIGHT OF THE DEMONS"!!!

The tag line says it all, and says it honestly - "EXCESSIVE VIOLENCE; GRATUITOUS NUDITY; ZERO BUDGET" - no false advertising here, folks! As fans of this genre, we have to look to the indies and support these hard-working folks who are busting their humps out there bringing us original tales, lest we forever get stuck in a world filled with big studio watered-down PG-13 'horror' or pointless remakes like The Hitcher. No, thank you - no more of that for me.

In closing, I honestly have to say that STUPID TEENAGERS MUST DIE! is by far one of the best indie flicks I've gotten the pleasure of watching this year. It's a bloody good time, and holds up on repeat viewings. From the dialogue to the characters to the wardrobe...even the closing love theme over the end credits (which if that doesn't bring back fits of laughter recalling mid-80's power ballads by REO Speedwagon - over-pronoucned R's on every word starting with the letter 'R' - then I'll eat my DVD right now)...bottom line is, if you're a fan of 80's horror or horror in general, no more hesitation - this flick deserves to be in your collection!!

Given the title, it's pretty obvious from the get-go that this is going to be a really stupid slasher film, and the opening credits leave no room for doubt by informing viewers that the film was "shot and cut to hell" by Jeff Smith. (Smith also directed, co-wrote, and otherwise contributed to just about every aspect of the movie.) If nothing else, you can't criticize Stupid Teenagers Must Die for pretending to be something it's not. That's good because even the slightest trace of pretension could well have made this movie completely unwatchable. Obviously, a good many critics and viewers banish it to one-star hell already, but I believe it does have a few entertaining moments - and the gore isn't half-bad for such a low-budget production (I especially liked the range of arterial blood sprays).

Basically, you have a group of teenaged stereotypes lifted right out of the 1980s (i.e., characters) come together in a murder house to conduct a séance. Naturally, they pool all of their car keys together so no one can up and leave in the middle of things - this becomes a problem because they keys disappear right about the time that the kids start dying grisly deaths. Despite their collective knowledge that there is a killer in the house (be it one of them or the ghost of the serial killer who lived in the house), the stupid teenagers keep wandering off by themselves - with predictable results. As the body count rises, the teens begin to turn on one another and conspire among themselves. The whole thing gets rather silly in the end, but horror geeks - especially those of us who came of age in the 1980s - should appreciate the spoofy goodness and numerous one-liners this film lays down along the way. I'm not saying this is a good movie - indeed, some horrors fans will undoubtedly hate it - but it does have guilty pleasure potential for those of us with a particularly twisted sense of humor. I'll definitely take Stupid Teenagers Must Die! over the umpteenth installment of Scary Movie.

this is a fun and original take on the 80's slasher movie. it comes in at about 75 minutes, so there's little filler, and though it is working within the constraints of the genre, it finds ways of being inventive so that you don't get the feeling that you've seen this one before. the production values are atrociously bad, as has been noted by other reviewers, and if that's important to you, avoid this one. believe it or not, though, this movie's better than the horror-comedy garbage hollywood has been throwing at us, largely because it doesn't take itself so seriously. if you enjoy b-movies, i think you'll not only enjoy this one, but it'll even surprise you a few times. (and yes--i've seen the whole thing.)