Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships [Unknown Binding]

Laura C. Schlessinger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 24, 2001

Have you ever withheld information from your spouse or partner for fear of rejection? Do you feel that your own needs come before your relationship? Do you continue to cling to past relationships, even at the expense of your current one? Do you put your work first, even if it means you never see your family? Are you in a destructive relationship? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Dr. Laura has some hard truths for you to face.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is an expert on the stupid things men and women do to sabotage themselves and their happiness. In her earlier bestsellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives, she urged her readers to take responsibility for their actions and to respect themselves and the people in their lives. Now the popular radio talk-show host tackles another difficult, complicated issue: the ways in which women and men hurt themselves and one another in their romantic relationships.

Using real-life situations from her radio call-in show and from listeners' letters, Dr. Laura offers firm yet compassionate advice on how to find greater happiness in life and in love. She urges couples to set their priorities straight, learn the difference between privacy and secrecy, stop making stupid excuses for their mistakes, and face their responsibilities to each other and to their families. Too often individuals in relationships ask only what the relationship can do for them, not what they can do for the relationship. Too many people are jumping into intimate relationships before taking the time to get to know each other.

In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with one another over a longer period of time and provides structure and guidelines for that important process. She asks couples to take a long, hard look at the recurring problems in their marriages -- both small and large -- and doesn't hesitate to tell them what they are doing wrong and how they can fix them. This is an invaluable guide for all married couples -- newlyweds and grandparents alike -- and for single people who are struggling to find the right mate or to escape a bad relationship. Acknowledging your stupid mistakes can be difficult, but with the help of this book you will learn how to correct them and how to find fulfillment, joy, and loving companionship in your most important relationship.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Her broad statements like "the feminist movement has become hostile to heterosexual relationships in general" and her tendency to react to callers in anger may offend, but if you can put aside her ratings-boosting fits of temper, you'll find some solid advice in 10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships. While Dr. Laura Schlessinger excels at placing blame, her bluntness can be refreshing, and with chapter titles like "stupid priorities," "stupid egotism," and "stupid liaisons," you know right where she stands on issues like career commitment, perceived selfishness, and extramarital relationships.

Much of the book has been created from letters written by listeners of her show. These personal anecdotes are used to illustrate points and provide examples we can all relate to; given their tremendous variety, you're sure to find some that click with you. They make the book an easily absorbed read and provide a welcome break from Schlessinger's angry tirades on premarital sex, addiction, and the general "stupidity" of the human race. Behind her anger, you'll find suggestions on taking time to really listen to each other, ways to respect each other's needs without catering to selfishness, and a firm belief that relationships are nearly always worth saving. --Jill Lightner

From Publishers Weekly

Schlessinger once again pontificates on the values, behaviors and flaws that ruin lives and society. Dr. Laura is well-known for her caustic advice on her syndicated radio show and in previous Stupid Things books. Never a believer in the proverbial spoonful of sugar, she pummels readers with judgments and instructions for dating and marriage. With many quotations from listeners, Schlessinger gives a tongue-lashing to "stupid" secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, excuses, etc. She offers rational (if familiar) counsel to honor commitments, treat partners and relationships respectfully, communicate, accept differences and make some compromises, but she exhibits not a trace of empathy or humility. She never substantiates broad generalizations that "feminist propaganda" and "ultraliberal... norms" have yielded an "amoral" and "ego-loving society," neglecting to cite sources for vague "studies." She writes, "I get very angry when spouses call feeling guilty for wanting to get out of bad relationships," forgetting that, as a counselor, her feelings don't much matter. Frozen in some pre-Feminine Mystique time, she advocates chivalry, alleging, "it's getting more and more difficult for a man to find a woman he can respect." Although not a medical doctor or addiction counselor, Schlessinger rejects the concept of addiction as disease, blaming it on poor "character." People seeking a self-help alternative to touchy-feely or moral-relativist philosophies should avoid this harsh, self-indulgent tirade. (Oct.)Forecast: Schlessinger's high profile will spur interest. But outrage at her recent antigay campaign caused many advertisers to boycott her television show and will affect sales.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Unknown Binding: 288 pages
• Publisher: Cliff Street Books; 1 edition (December 24, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060280662
• ISBN-13: 978-0060280666
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.8 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,087,451 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Laura Schlessinger received her Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University and holds a post-doctoral certification from the University of Southern California and licensing in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is the author of nine New York Times bestsellers, including THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE. Her award-winning radio program is internationally syndicated by her Take On The Day company. It's broadcast every day on more than 250 stations, XM Satellite Radio, and the Armed Forces Network, and is stream-linked and podcast on www.drlaura.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

108 of 123 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Some great stuff in here, December 20, 2002

By 

Amazonbombshell (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

You know, I don't agree with about half the things Dr. Laura Schlessinger says on the radio or in any of her books. I think she's far too conservative in general, and downright repressive about religion and sexuality. Yet I keep coming back for more.

Why? Because this lady has her head screwed on right. She's figured out one way to help people lead more fulfulling and committed lives, and she's not afraid to advertise it, knowing full well that she's going to get slammed for it. You've got to admire guts like that, and you really should take her ideas into consideration. There's something to be said for "traditional morality" (which encompasses things that are not necessarily moral issues at all), and its ability to make the world run more smoothly and people turn out better.

Listen to Dr. Laura about the importance of true committment to your mate, about taking reponsibility for yourself, about raising your children with love and discipline. Remember that her politics do not have to agree with yours and her religious views may conflict, but this does not diminish the importance of her message. You can ignore all the moralizing fluff, but what Dr. Laura is really about is devotion to family, and responsibility in relationships of all kinds. THAT is something everyone can use a lesson in.

49 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly Helpful, December 31, 2001

By 

"perribear" (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

Okay, I'll admit upfront that I'm a gay woman and listen to Dr. Laura's show on the radio. I agree with some of what she says, and disagree with a whole lot, but knew that I would learn something from this book. Despite my disagreements with her politically, she's always been right on with issues about relationships, and this book really nails some of the more serious issues every couple faces, including gay couples. The issues she confronts are really universal--"Stupid Secrets," "Stupid Pettiness," "Stupid Power," etc., and really helped to shed light on the issues I'm facing in my relationship. One of the great things about Dr. Laura's style is that she puts her opinions right up in front and you can take it or leave it. I found I'm taking most of her advice from this book. I highly recommend it even if your relationship is going really well right now. You'll need to have this information if (when!) things get tough further down the road. Be prepared!

58 of 66 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars She continues to teach us something!!!!!, January 11, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships

I don't agree with everything she says, but I have always learned something of value to me. So I began reading Dr. Laura's "How Could You Do That?" She re-enforced moral issues for me and started me re-evaluating several other issues. Having gotten good information from that book, I went on to read, "10 Stupid Things Women Do..." Low and behold my dating/relationship issues cleared up and I'm now on the path to marriage with a wonderful guy.

So thinking I've resolved everything, I questioned what she new things she could tell me. Began skimming the book in a bookstore. Several chapters later, I realized I still have much to learn and she has a lot to teach. We get so caught up in ourselves, we stop thinking about the whole picture. A relationship is a group effort, made up of individuals, but it is a group. And it is bigger than it's parts. So when I get caught up in Pettiness (my perfectionism), Power Struggles (okay, yeah, I like to control situations), and Stupid Priorities (yes, I can say, "No." now) and look back on those chapters and get my head straight. I've already begun recommending it to my friends whenever they say..."I can't believe he/she just doesn't get it about X issue..." FOR THEM, not the person they're talking about!