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Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships Paperback – December 24, 2002


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (December 24, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060512601
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060512606
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (98 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #59,727 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Her broad statements like "the feminist movement has become hostile to heterosexual relationships in general" and her tendency to react to callers in anger may offend, but if you can put aside her ratings-boosting fits of temper, you'll find some solid advice in 10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships. While Dr. Laura Schlessinger excels at placing blame, her bluntness can be refreshing, and with chapter titles like "stupid priorities," "stupid egotism," and "stupid liaisons," you know right where she stands on issues like career commitment, perceived selfishness, and extramarital relationships.

Much of the book has been created from letters written by listeners of her show. These personal anecdotes are used to illustrate points and provide examples we can all relate to; given their tremendous variety, you're sure to find some that click with you. They make the book an easily absorbed read and provide a welcome break from Schlessinger's angry tirades on premarital sex, addiction, and the general "stupidity" of the human race. Behind her anger, you'll find suggestions on taking time to really listen to each other, ways to respect each other's needs without catering to selfishness, and a firm belief that relationships are nearly always worth saving. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Schlessinger once again pontificates on the values, behaviors and flaws that ruin lives and society. Dr. Laura is well-known for her caustic advice on her syndicated radio show and in previous Stupid Things books. Never a believer in the proverbial spoonful of sugar, she pummels readers with judgments and instructions for dating and marriage. With many quotations from listeners, Schlessinger gives a tongue-lashing to "stupid" secrets, egotism, pettiness, power, excuses, etc. She offers rational (if familiar) counsel to honor commitments, treat partners and relationships respectfully, communicate, accept differences and make some compromises, but she exhibits not a trace of empathy or humility. She never substantiates broad generalizations that "feminist propaganda" and "ultraliberal... norms" have yielded an "amoral" and "ego-loving society," neglecting to cite sources for vague "studies." She writes, "I get very angry when spouses call feeling guilty for wanting to get out of bad relationships," forgetting that, as a counselor, her feelings don't much matter. Frozen in some pre-Feminine Mystique time, she advocates chivalry, alleging, "it's getting more and more difficult for a man to find a woman he can respect." Although not a medical doctor or addiction counselor, Schlessinger rejects the concept of addiction as disease, blaming it on poor "character." People seeking a self-help alternative to touchy-feely or moral-relativist philosophies should avoid this harsh, self-indulgent tirade. (Oct.)Forecast: Schlessinger's high profile will spur interest. But outrage at her recent antigay campaign caused many advertisers to boycott her television show and will affect sales.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Dr. Laura Schlessinger received her Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University and holds a post-doctoral certification from the University of Southern California and licensing in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is the author of nine New York Times bestsellers, including THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE. Her award-winning radio program is internationally syndicated by her Take On The Day company. It's broadcast every day on more than 250 stations, XM Satellite Radio, and the Armed Forces Network, and is stream-linked and podcast on www.drlaura.com.

Customer Reviews

Good job, Dr. Laura.
Susan C. Reneau
In some cases, yes, these can ruin relationships but this book makes anyone who has ever done any of the above out to be a bad person.
Kristen Coppedge
This is the book to read if you want to prevent relationship disaster or deal with it.
Stacie A.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

127 of 143 people found the following review helpful By Amazonbombshell on December 20, 2002
Format: Hardcover
You know, I don't agree with about half the things Dr. Laura Schlessinger says on the radio or in any of her books. I think she's far too conservative in general, and downright repressive about religion and sexuality. Yet I keep coming back for more.
Why? Because this lady has her head screwed on right. She's figured out one way to help people lead more fulfulling and committed lives, and she's not afraid to advertise it, knowing full well that she's going to get slammed for it. You've got to admire guts like that, and you really should take her ideas into consideration. There's something to be said for "traditional morality" (which encompasses things that are not necessarily moral issues at all), and its ability to make the world run more smoothly and people turn out better.
Listen to Dr. Laura about the importance of true committment to your mate, about taking reponsibility for yourself, about raising your children with love and discipline. Remember that her politics do not have to agree with yours and her religious views may conflict, but this does not diminish the importance of her message. You can ignore all the moralizing fluff, but what Dr. Laura is really about is devotion to family, and responsibility in relationships of all kinds. THAT is something everyone can use a lesson in.
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57 of 63 people found the following review helpful By "perribear" on December 31, 2001
Format: Hardcover
Okay, I'll admit upfront that I'm a gay woman and listen to Dr. Laura's show on the radio. I agree with some of what she says, and disagree with a whole lot, but knew that I would learn something from this book. Despite my disagreements with her politically, she's always been right on with issues about relationships, and this book really nails some of the more serious issues every couple faces, including gay couples. The issues she confronts are really universal--"Stupid Secrets," "Stupid Pettiness," "Stupid Power," etc., and really helped to shed light on the issues I'm facing in my relationship. One of the great things about Dr. Laura's style is that she puts her opinions right up in front and you can take it or leave it. I found I'm taking most of her advice from this book. I highly recommend it even if your relationship is going really well right now. You'll need to have this information if (when!) things get tough further down the road. Be prepared!
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61 of 70 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 11, 2002
Format: Hardcover
I don't agree with everything she says, but I have always learned something of value to me. So I began reading Dr. Laura's "How Could You Do That?" She re-enforced moral issues for me and started me re-evaluating several other issues. Having gotten good information from that book, I went on to read, "10 Stupid Things Women Do..." Low and behold my dating/relationship issues cleared up and I'm now on the path to marriage with a wonderful guy.
So thinking I've resolved everything, I questioned what she new things she could tell me. Began skimming the book in a bookstore. Several chapters later, I realized I still have much to learn and she has a lot to teach. We get so caught up in ourselves, we stop thinking about the whole picture. A relationship is a group effort, made up of individuals, but it is a group. And it is bigger than it's parts. So when I get caught up in Pettiness (my perfectionism), Power Struggles (okay, yeah, I like to control situations), and Stupid Priorities (yes, I can say, "No." now) and look back on those chapters and get my head straight. I've already begun recommending it to my friends whenever they say..."I can't believe he/she just doesn't get it about X issue..." FOR THEM, not the person they're talking about!
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 7, 2002
Format: Hardcover
I just finished reading this book, and it is absolutely wonderful. I have worked doing pre-marital and marital counseling and she sums up the biggest mistakes that couple make in their relationships. Every problem I have encountered in dealing with couples, I have seen in the book, either in general or specifically. This book is so good, I am going to have it as "required" reading for all my pre-marital classes!
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25 of 29 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 15, 2004
Format: Paperback
The book presents a compelling and eye-opening viewpoint and provides a good basis for couples who want to build better skills at relating by re-examining their behaviors. While reading, I did recognize behaviors in myself that I have also engaged in but was previously not aware of.
It is clear that Dr. Laura has strong beliefs and is passionately committed to her ideas and to her viewpoints. The information is presented in a straightforward manner and is often on target. Though Dr. Laura's style of communication is strong, the message and content is ultimately geared to help readers recognize their behaviors and to prevent broken relationships.
I have also read another book on relationships that I found to be extremely enjoyable and helpful as well. The book is "Working On Your Relationships Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane. This book explores a new technique geared toward mending relationships and building ones that are nurturing and fulfilling. This book uses examples from many of the Kanes' clients and associates, from their workshops and seminars, as well as from their own personal life journey. By bringing awareness to our ingrained patterns of behavior, they guide readers to discover satisfaction and increased productivity in their lives and relationships, without having to "work" on their
problems...as well as how to have a lot of fun along the way (that "fun" part is right up my alley!)
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