Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives [Paperback]

Laura Schlessinger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 9, 1998

For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking.

Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.

In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:

1. Stupid Chivalry
   By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.

2. Stupid Independence
   Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.

3. Stupid Ambition
   Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.

4. Stupid Strength
   Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.

5. Stupid Sex
   Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.

6. Stupid Matrimony
   Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."

7. Stupid Husbanding
   Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.

8. Stupid Parenting
   Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.

9. Stupid Boyishness
   Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.

10. Stupid Machismo
    Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Everything will be okay ... once you admit that Dr. Laura's always right. This companion volume to the radio advice factory's 1994 bestseller (which tackled the stupid things women do) serves up plenty of the no-nonsense, old-fashioned morality that her legions of listeners love. Brutally reductive--but not necessarily wrong--this book chalks up men's problems to trying to save "damsels in distress," refusing to admit to a healthy dependence on others, climbing the career ladder to the detriment of your relationships, denying the duty and pleasure of child-rearing, and many others. Whatever your personal reaction to her brassy, unapologetic style, Dr. Schlessinger is a refreshing antidote to the wishy-washy "everything's relative and everyone's different" trend that held sway for a time. Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess up Their Lives contains a lot of good advice--even though it has as much in common with instant soup mix as with therapy. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Schlessinger, the author of best sellers Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives (Villard, 1994) and How Could You Do That?! (LJ 4/1/96), successfully repeats the style of her first book?this time?focusing on men. As before, Schlessinger uses her experience with callers on her radio show to reiterate her theme that in relationships both men and women are often their own worst enemies. Her advice is no-nonsense and the prose exceptionally readable, with anecdotes seamlessly integrated into the text. The result is a better book than its predecessor. Although the book is written for men, women will also find it helpful. Public libraries should expect high demand. Strongly recommended.
-?January Adams, Franklin Twp. P.L., Franklinville, N.J.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Harper Perennial (September 9, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060929448
• ISBN-13: 978-0060929442
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #42,174 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Laura Schlessinger received her Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University and holds a post-doctoral certification from the University of Southern California and licensing in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is the author of nine New York Times bestsellers, including THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE. Her award-winning radio program is internationally syndicated by her Take On The Day company. It's broadcast every day on more than 250 stations, XM Satellite Radio, and the Armed Forces Network, and is stream-linked and podcast on www.drlaura.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

70 of 76 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Title, June 22, 2004

By 

Erick "yo" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives (Paperback)

I'm 17 years old and found this book in my parents' bedroom last night. My parents are out of town, so I propped myself up with a pillow and began reading it on their bed.

By the time I finished it was four-thirty in the morning, and I wasn't tired. What a book! I'm still a teenager, one who doesn't date, do drugs, have sex, drink, watch porno, etc, and even though this book was intended for men, adult men who have grown up and entered the working force and the world of realtionships and sex, I found it deeply insightful and clear. Dr. Laura lays morality on the table in an effective and entertaining way, and it makes sense, which is the problem with most messages coming from either side, the right or the left. She explains the workings of the male, and female minds and how they are different, and how they are the same, as well as the monumental difference between being male and being a man. She talks about self control and how having it can not only bring you respect, it can bring you true, healthy relationships, and she defines how to be an equal partner in marriage, a real equal partner, not the liberal feminist definition of equal partnership.

Five stars, an excellent book for the moral minded, and for the not so moral minded, who want to know what morals are.

53 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding, June 18, 2003

By 

A Reader from Chicago (Chicago, IL USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives (Hardcover)

I only heard her show once, and was not impressed at all. But this book is quite excellent if you are trying to sort out your life, or what you may be going through or did go through. While I didn't find all the chapters worth reading, the ones I did like were very insightful, essentially doing mini case studies on what has happened with her callers, by relating their stories.

The first chapter, Stupid Chivalry, explores how guys who are "too nice" to women may be denying their real needs and therefore not being real. This backfires for the "nice" guy, but results in a dupe being available to be used by a woman who wants things done for her. Women want men who are real as mates. The chapter also explores guyus being nice because they may feel that their hand is so weak, that they welcome someone who has a lot of troubles so that they won't have to worry about being abandoned. They will feel needed. But unlikely is the case that they will be wanted for more than solving problems of the troubled woman.

The 6th chapter, Stupid Matrimony, explores idiotic motivations for getting married. "She's cute!" is one of them. With so many marriages ending in divorce, it is obvious that people do not always have the resources to think through what is drawing them towards marriage in a practical way. This book is an excellent eye-opener. Just because someone is wonderful to have fun with does not mean that you can overlook their flaws and get away with it. The message of this book, through the histories of her listeners is you will not get away with it. Having someone you can rely on and work with is very important. And making excuses for a woman's current behavior, if it isn't good for a relationship, won't make that behavior go away in the future.

In short, those two chapters were so good in helping me analyze my life that I picked up a copy of the book for a friend who has done some of the stupid things. This book is about seeing stupid things we can do as stupid, rather than just feeling our way through and thinking things will magically work out, and that we will be appreciate, or that the woman will behave better.

If you are trying to sort things out in you life, relative to women, this book should help you see a lot more clearly. And I say that having read many books on related areas.

Good luck.

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Direct Advice - Better than the Cover Suggests, November 18, 2004

By 

Viewer (Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives (Hardcover)

As a person who is in a relationship but constantly feeling attracted to other girls, the chapter on 'Stupid Sex' was right on point.

The author identifies the struggle we face to balance biological urges with moral constraints. Her emphasis on doing what is 'right' and to base your behaviour on principles, struck a chord with me.

A lot of people may struggle to take this book seriously given it's straightforward, 'chatty' style, but I found the advice very helpful.